It’s pain first and then it’s wisdom.

You will not grow if you don’t experience hurt and setbacks; if everything in your life is going smoothly there will be no room for you to grow and evolve because you are already living a good life. I used to always say: why is this happening to me? Why do I have to suffer this much? Why is my mental health so bad? Why can’t I leave my house without having so much anxiety? Why and why!? Well now I see it this way : why not me? If not me then who? Even Jesus experienced pain while he lived on this earth. All of those bad things that happened to me and all of the struggles that I am currently going through is turning me into a much better person. 

I am not who I was 2 years ago or even 6 months ago because I have grown through all of the heartaches and setbacks. I welcome the pain because I know the finishing product will be great; throughout my whole life Jehovah has always been on my side. Even when I felt alone, unloved or abandoned I knew God has never left me. I am stronger now than I have been months ago. Losing my father made me realize what’s really important and it made me not focus on things or people who don’t value me. I have no hate or ill will towards anyone but for the sake of  my mental health I cannot be surrounded by negativity energy  or anything that is not bringing me joy.