Archives

2026-01-31T20:13:08+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 31 Janvier 2026 à 08:13 PM

One thing that pisses me off is when people assume what kind of problems I could be having. Just because I’m not dating anyone doesn’t mean I don’t talk to men or that I’m lonely, I do go on dates I just haven’t found anyone that I’m compatible with yet. Just because I’m quiet or I look sad doesn’t mean I’m depressed or that I have low self esteem issues. Quite the contrary I value myself and I hold myself at high standards and esteem. I love who I am, sure I can always improve but I’m not miserable because of who I am. Just because I look serious doesn’t mean I don’t joke or can’t take a joke, that’s just my face I’m actually a goofball and a clown with my friends.

The moral of the story is if you think I have a problem talk to me or ask questions. Not only me but anyone else, instead of putting people in different boxes or judging them let’s talk to them first

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2026-01-30T17:13:31+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 30 Janvier 2026 à 05:13 PM

At the end of last year I was thinking about getting braids with extensions...shocking I know. I was bored with my hair but honestly I hate using extensions because my scalp gets irritated and I just can't stand the weight of hair that's not mine. I love wearing my natural hair in whatever form that it comes in. I do believe no other hair will ever as beautiful as my own hair. If I have a daughter someday I will teach her to love her hair and I will never use extensions or use chemicals in her hair, she can do that when she's grown but as a child I am not doing any of that. I saw a 6 year old with a wig! and the baby didn't have alopecia or any scalp condition! why would the other do that? essentially that's teaching the kid that fake hair is better than her own hair. You have to start teaching your kid to love her hair at a young age, you can't start when when she's 18 and deep in fontal wigs and 30 inch buss down.

My mom did help me love my hair, she used to do cute hairstyle on my hair when I was a kid. She only put a perm in my hair when I begged her in 7th grade and even then I always wear my own hair. I started wearing hair extensions when I came to the US when I was 15 years old and I stopped when I was 26 years old so it's been 3 years since I made the decision to stopped wearing hair extensions/wigs but when I was 27 years old I wore braids for a week but I hated it and I immediately took it off after my dad passed away for his funeral because he used to always tell me how much he loved my hair, so I wore it to see him one last time.

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2026-01-30T16:11:46+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 30 Janvier 2026 à 04:11 PM

1/30/26

Today mark 2 years since my father has passed away...I feel a little sad. Last year I did take the day off but not this year, I am working today. I can't help but remember that Tuesday morning when I got the call that my dad is gone, it felt like a dream I could not wake up from. I felt like I was living someone else's life that day, I didn't cry until I cam home after the meeting because we had C.o Visit that week. I cried for hours, screamed and I was basically hysterical. After that I didn't cry for weeks, maybe months... I just couldn't cry and I felt guilty because why couldn't I cry? I felt like a monster, like the worse daughter in the world...I was numb.. I couldn't feel anything. I explored that with my therapist at the time, mostly he just let me talk but he didn't give me any feedback or anything that's why I did let him go because anyone can hear me talk...I needed a psychology perspective or evaluation and I didn't get that. I am skeptical now about therapy but once I find a good therapist like the one I had in 2019 after my cousin died I will stick with that therapist. I don't feel like I need one right now but at times when life gets hard, I spiral and I have really scary thoughts it would be good to be evaluated during those times. But I do have a support system, I have people I can call at 2am and I know they will pick up if they see my call. I have amazing people in my life they're not a lot but 2 is better than none. I don't call my mom when I am having a depressive episode because she panics and gets very concerned. I don't like making my mom sad, she the best human in the world I want her to stay happy forever...

I do miss my dad, I still replay the last voicemail he left for me. In it he said he loved me and he asked me to take him to get a haircut. He's so gentle and cute...when I see his favorite toothpaste, the bread that he likes, or green grapes I always think of him. When I drive to the places I used to take him I get sooo sad (I don't go to New York or Certain parts in my city because of him. I just can't do it yet. He used to live in new York) I only have one parent and she's not even with me. Oh Jehovah give me more time to spend with my mom I love her so much, if she ever leave me I will be suicidal.

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2026-01-29T19:39:31+01:00

for the mind

Publié par Gaelle.R 29 Janvier 2026 à 07:39 PM

I am not afraid to admit some of my workout sessions are extreme! especially my leg days to the point that now they are no longer fun. My legs have developed a lot, I am seeing muscles in places where I didn't even know existed. There's no need for me to train my legs for 2 hours but I do it, some movements are less challenging and others are very challenging let me explain...

in total you only need 45-60 minutes to train legs but because I am a psycho who loves to torture myself at times I do it for 2 hours! I normally train like that on Saturday mornings. It's brutal I lift heavy, I sweat a lot, I lose my breath, and I feel exhausted by the end of it. I don't workout like that more than once a week because it is not sustainable and I would suffer from muscle fatigue. Now that I started taking creatine I have even more stamina to keep going harder in the gym. When I work out like a maniac I don't do it for muscle growth I do it for my mental health. I need a hard session at least twice a week... I also go hard on Thursday for my back days too. I need a great session to feel good and to want to keep on living a happy life. I am not even sure whether or not my anti depressant medication is working anymore but all I know is the gym is keeping me alive and I need it desperately. I could be crying in the gym parking lot and after a workout I am laughing like an idiot...I all I need is 2 hours in the gym, just give me that and I am the happiest girl in the world. Why Do you think I work out 6 days a week? I don't need to workout this much! I do it for my mental health as well as a nice body.

I am happy with my results and we're only getting better and better :)

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2026-01-29T15:52:34+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 29 Janvier 2026 à 03:52 PM

If you want to increase deep sleep

Quick wins:

Keep a consistent bedtime
Avoid alcohol close to bed (huge deep-sleep killer)
Sleep in a cool, dark room
Get daytime exercise, but not intense workouts right before bed
Reduce late-night screens / stress spikes

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2026-01-29T04:21:13+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 29 Janvier 2026 à 04:21 AM

If I die untimely, I want a friend like Candace Owens to investigate my death and find out what happened just like she’s doing now for Charlie Kirk. Her dedication shows how much she loved and cared about Charlie. His own wife has already moved on and worrying more about making an empire instead of trying to find who exactly wanted to assassinate her husband. Candace is not letting these people get away with it, she’s keeping Charlie’s name alive and she’s investigating daily. I love her.

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2026-01-27T14:52:02+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 27 Janvier 2026 à 02:52 PM

reasons why I am deleting all forms of social media on my phone (Pinterest not included of course). I currently do not have Facebook or messenger on my phone, I deleted my Facebook in 2019 and I never went back. During that time I was happier, I felt calm and refreshed. I didn't have to scroll on Instagram or TikTok for hours before bed or at all so my sleep was uninterrupted and the quality of sleep was even better, I bet I had more deep sleep cycles. Now I spend hours in REM sleep, I am lucky if I spend 30 minutes in deep sleep ugh... You all know how much I love my sleep so that's a big reason!

I hate how much we are all connected. At times after scrolling online for more than 30 minutes I feel overwhelmed and disoriented by all the information I just consumed. I don't need to see the inside of your apartment before I visit you, I don't need to know you went to Europe all summer because when I see you I won't even ask about what you did this summer because I already know! see now our conversation is cut short. I saw everything online already! there's nothing left for me to ask you, except well did you enjoy your vacation?
I don't like sharing everything but it's hard because what do I post on my stories? I only post my cats, my workout and food or drink...I post nice places but only after I left. Every time I post myself I hate it...I hate sharing part of my life with complete strangers who don't even care which is why I stopped accepting new friends request because what's the point I am deleting my social media eventually.
I don't mind when people don't watch my stories because I don't watch theirs either...it gives me a lot to talk about when we connect. I can't even tell you fun facts about myself because you've seen it all! you saw me at the gym! you saw me watching football and being obsessed about Mbappe like you know it all! what else can I share?
People are faking on social media. they fake a smile, post the best parts about their lives and I don't blame them because I do the same! you never really know people on social media because they are faking a persona! they post pictures with filters so you never really know someone until you meet them in person.
comparison is a thief of joy. when you see people travelling, have expensive things you may start comparing your life to them without noticing and now you're feeling bad about yourself! but you're doing amazing but because you compare what you see on social media to your life now you're feeling as if you're not doing enough.
the constant post about being better, glow up and improve yourself will make focus so much on trying to improve rather than just love where you are right now. What is this constant need to evolve? can we just enjoy life? No I don't need that $700 curling iron to make my life better, I can enjoy life just fine without it.

I do believe we were not meant to be sooo connected online. People back in 1970's were happier, they had better focus they read books, their vocabulary was better because they didn't have a rectangulaire device to scroll on all day. women had better self respect, they weren't posing nude online for the whole world to see. women dressed better, held themselves to a higher standards they were not obsessing about men online and worrying about who he's following.

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2026-01-27T02:12:05+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 27 Janvier 2026 à 02:12 AM

Despite the snow storm I went to the gym last night, I must be a psycho to do that. Yes I am in fact not right in the head because how did I even thought it would be possible to do that! it was snowing this afternoon when I went. I have a small car so it's a bit more challenging. I realize how much I hate working out at night, it wasn't busy it was probably 5 people there me included but I didn't recognized any of them, in the morning I know everybody and I know who I am going to see because they always show up at that time. on top of all the snow we got, we got a few inches last nigt. It was scary I am not gonna lie at one point I thought I was going to be stuck! I manage to go to another road and made it home safely!

Honestly I am not addicted of the gains it's more mental, when I work out I get happier. I feel better overall, I am very competitive but mostly with my past self I am always trying to do better, to be better and to work harder.

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2026-01-26T19:29:58+01:00