As I am older now, although I don’t look it but my mind has definitely changed and developed. I used to live in a fantasy world where everything was supposed to be beautiful. But life itself is not always beautiful, there’s an ugliness part of life that I was never willing to accept. I had to put down my rose colored glasses and see life for what it is. I had to accept things for what it is instead of what I want it to be. I had to take people’s actions instead of what they tell me.
I am not the same, I no longer seek love in places where it was never given to me. I begin to accept that some people will do what’s best for them and I need to do the same for me. I stopped caring about how others perceived me and started living, in return I became even more confident and it’s not an act. I genuinely do not care what was said about me, how people see me. I am just trying my best to survive. Today is my turn and tomorrow will be someone else’s turn. Instead of asking why is this happening to me begin to ask what is this trying to teach me?. Instead of asking why is life so unfair? I begin asking what decisions have I made to end up here.
I stopped being delusional, I stopped day dreaming about men who will never care about me; that man never cared and will en we care. I stopped waiting and started living. If I feel disrespected I simply leave I don’t demand respect anymore, they know what they did. I have nothing to say to someone who’s not willing to change. I don’t repeat myself more than twice, I tell you what I don’t accept and if you continue to do it, I’ll simply leave. I don’t beg, I just leave. I am older now, I am a woman. I am grown and I am embracing every part of it. I have not time to play, are we doing something serious? No then leave me alone.
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