Archives

2016-05-24T05:37:58+02:00

alone and okay.

Publié par Gaelle.R 24 Mai 2016 à 05:37 AM

explaining to someone that he or she is not the one for you is extremely hard especially if you don't want to hurt their feelings and still want to stay friend with them. I heard people say it's not possible but i don't believe it at all. if there was a connection then it can still stay there even after the person learn what you have to say and what you want. I hope that if i ever hurt someone this way big misunderstanding. I never talk about my relationship with a boy here and i have my reasons for that. People see beyond of what they see... seeing a young girl putting so much WORK into her appearance does not mean she wants to impress guys or get a boyfriend maybe she just loves fashion maybe she is working on herself.People who have religious belief says you don't have to work on yourself let God do the work. I agree but we have to admit that we all have to work on ourselves to accept the help of God...some people do it differently. Just because a girl go out alone does not mean that she is going to see a boy maybe she just have things to take care of. Life does not revolve around relationships and sex. I see life differently i see friendship, family , Putting God first, praying, helping others, listening, talking, music, writing and love. All of these things are extremely important to me... i don't see sex as a way to feel complete..issues yes...whatever you may call it but those are what i believe in and i am not going to let go of them. Being fake has nothing to do with me. They judge me thinking i have a lot of guys after me which is so wrong i believe i scared them away. Behind this screen i am open and talkative to you all but i can assure you that i am very intimidating. I am not making that up people told me that themselves...i try to make it clear that i am single and that i want to be single....but you all know how lonely it gets especially when you are surrounded by couples...but i am happy being alone i don't want to complicate my life leaving my heart in someone's hand. I want to be alone. I don't to feel like i need someone to complete me. when the time comes i will find the one or get into the roller coaster but as for right now i can't. Even if i had a crush but it's just infatuation it will go away it always does. so many people don't know me...because i don't talk about these things and that confuses them into thinking of me wrong. I know what i came here to do and i know what i want. i will let them talk gosh are they all over the place.

Voir les commentaires

2016-05-23T04:47:02+02:00

Aiming the ax

Publié par Gaelle.R 23 Mai 2016 à 04:47 AM

how's life? well i'm not going to talk about mine as you all know i hate to talk about myself because i don't want to sound too conceited even though it's my blog...it's been a while and i have been busy. People who have a life don't have a blog you know ! not that i don't have a life but i try to fit it in between my stuff. Well before i wasn't this busy but my mind was preoccupied and filled with things i could have gotten rid of but didn't. Have you ever done something stupid and suddenly some people got rid of you afraid to look at you? well i think if you didn't kill someone, cheat on someone or some other act of fornication, steal you should not blame yourself to the point where you want to die because anything can be fixed maybe with time but" chaque chose a son temps" if you don't know what that means well check google translate even tough it doesn't translate it well but you will get the concept. I realize something this week that is :" you are not living for anyone" you are living because God put you here and you living for him. I'm living for God and my parents. Who you living for? bae? friends? people? well think about it...because if you don't one day you are going to be confused just like i have a while ago. I am not confused maybe afraid of showing too much ...well showing who you are is being real and you need to be real. You do you need to show your true self not some character from a book but you. Don't be afraid to speak your mind and do what you because that makes you unique too much people are trying to be normal you're just going to be added to that longish list. Do you want to be like everyone else? what's the point? I am proud to have this blog to speak my mind as i please i wish i had done it sooner it would have been easier. But it's still helps. Being behind the wall and not being able to hear a thing, hiding from the unknown trying to fit in, loving others and forgetting about yourself ...all the things that was once there but gone. realizing that you deserve better and walking away from it all, not looking back. Running out of breath the memories left behind hush it's getting too loud as i speak i hear my own voice get quieter and the memories are rushing in the dark voice way over my head telling me to stop talking it's not worth it hush them...i continue to speak they get louder, i scream you can't hear but my head is exploding as there is no facial expression you can't tell. I know you think i did it on purpose, slowly i process things and you judge me for not reacting quickly i look at you i see the angry face but i cannot see the madness. Open your mouth being wrong. They tell you you should be ashamed for your own thinking. Not being like the others even though you act just like them. They don't know you believe unicorns still exist while they see this world in black in white and yes and no while you see rainbows in a world full of maybes. They looking at you scrutinizing your every move telling you how to be and how to behave. Endless task you want it to be over. You want to take somebody hands and runaway with them but you don't find that person. You got quiet and less enjoyable to be with as they are all moving away so they won't catch your sadness that speaks so loud that the wild cats can hear from miles away all over town to the Forrest. What must you do? antidepressant don't help it's your soul that needs surgery. You need to find the right doctor even though you don't know who takes care of these things.

Voir les commentaires

2016-05-22T03:23:09+02:00

being who you are

Publié par Gaelle.R 22 Mai 2016 à 03:23 AM

Recently i change the color of my hair from really dark black to bright red. Some people were not expecting that from me and me neither but hey that's what being in your late teen feels like you never know what comes next you even surprise yourself. Some people don't like the color of my hair while others have no problem with it. I'm just tired of being normal and boring i need some color in my life and this is it. All my life i have been doing what i'm suppose to be doing. Getting good grades, being nice and open minded (which is good), never disappointed my parents to the extreme ... i mean i try to please everyone truth is you can never please anyone and they will not always please you either. I got a few bruises but who doesn't what don't kill you makes you stronger. It's not about my hair really the color has nothing to do with my appearance i mean yes it came into play. But i am taking a risk because i never have and i am teaching myself to keep moving when people are talking, judging, criticizing. Just because my hair is red now does not mean i am someone new no i am still the same but i am learning about people. It's not at all about me and my stupid hair is just vanity and i could care less. I need to worry about better things. I am not afraid to do something new anymore because i am starting to get used to it.

Voir les commentaires

2016-05-14T20:24:15+02:00

fire

Publié par Gaelle.R 14 Mai 2016 à 08:24 PM

if only you knew ... how can you be this stupid ! you make me so happy when i'm with you and you don't realize that. You always try to find a way to hurt me when you can't i don't see you like that. You're a clown to me well you're my clown and there's nothing you can do about it besides love me when i tell you. I admit i get tired of you sometimes but i still want you there maybe not too much talking, I like you but not enough for me to tolerate all your nonsense. I could find someone better but something about you is different and i haven't seen that in anyone i guess that makes you unique. I look for words to describe you and what we are but i cannot find any just that you are who you are and there's nothing else to say. I want to get mad at you but i can't because i don't care that much about what you do unless it involves me. You can do whatever you want. I don't want you to think that i'm jealous, sad or mad because of what you do because i don't care at all i just love being with you when i can and when i'm in a good mood i don't expect anything from you. I know who you are and why do you think i want more? there's a saying that says you either don't trust someone because you don't know them or you either don't trust someone because you know them well. For me i know you too well. I'm another story even if you read my blog there are a lot of things you still have no clue about. I bet you don't know what i'm talking about right now ! lol it's okay i know what i know and that's enough.

Voir les commentaires

2016-05-09T03:16:35+02:00

horoscope

Publié par Gaelle.R 9 Mai 2016 à 03:16 AM

Some people believe in horoscope and they always check daily to see what's going on with their life and personally i do not judge these people. Last year i started to look into mine and trust me it was freaky because i felt like it was describing me and everything i love, hate, do and think I was fascinated and soon it became an addiction because i would check every time. let me tell you something you don't have to let a horoscope thing rule your life just because you cannot be friends with someone born in august does not mean it's true ! just because it says red is your color does not mean that it's really your color. It's crazy to see how much people believe in these stuff. Me i like to try to see for myself from what i saw it's just a way to get you addicted without any use i mean you could spend that time doing something else with your life but instead you stuck reading about yourself all day. Everything does not have to be about you sometimes focusing on something or someone else make your life better. Aren't you getting tired of reading about yourself ? you sure are because now you looking up other people's horoscope asking them what day and month they were born to figure them out. To tell you that horoscope thing don't work for everyone it might work for you but for other people it's their complete opposite so don't rely on that to tell you that your boyfriend is cheating on you. Girl are you serious just because it says he is ready to make his next move in the relationship when he's ignoring you does not mean he has someone else ! he could but maybe it's been going on a while now but you didn't notice until the horoscope tells you to.

Voir les commentaires

2016-05-06T03:29:05+02:00

take it from me...

Publié par Gaelle.R 6 Mai 2016 à 03:29 AM

speaking for a girl who's been in that situation: remember I talk about how a girl can be wearing something revealing and still not sexually active or a slut...well it's difficult now to tell because every girl claim it and they all act like they've been there and that they are waiting for it. Personally i am not judging anybody here but it is much better to dress appropriately when you are not trying to be a slut like it or not if you're wearing something provocative they will put you in that basket. You need to put yourself where you belong; you can slip and fell a couple times but claim it don't let what you wear destroy you because it can. My image is not yet ruin but it can be if I don't act right and same for y'all. Most of you just don't care and that's a problem because deep down you do care you might as well just own up to it.

have you ever felt ashamed for something that you've done? It may not be big but to you it is...for me well it sometimes about the way i dress it doesn't happen very often y'all know i love the french style and stuff but a while ago i was not aware that i grew a little and i would still wear my old clothes and stuff...well I do feel uncomfortable if someone from the outside or even from church ! says hum that is too small, too short or whatever...I do care about appearance and if you know me then you know that you've catch me on one of my phases. sometimes i dress like a boy, like a teacher, like a Parisian, sweatpants ...and well other times where i dress like that i don't know what i should say about that phase but it's usually after something that put me down and at that stage i'm either unaware of what i did or i'm just too sad to care. some people will talk about it but i am not normal and i try to act right i don't have to explain myself that should be something that i should be okay with and fight about. some people are so quick to judge...they will always judge me anyway even if i do good or bad but i rather stay on the right path because it will lead me somewhere i have been dreaming about for some time now. I cannot change what i did or how i act but i can change my future and the way people see me positively or negatively. I made a mistake and we all do but me i choose to learn from mine so in the future i'll know not to do it again. I don't want to be that person that people talk about

It's easier to say that you don't care because people won't come and talk to you about it because they already know that you won't do anything about it so they might as well not say anything. It's when it gets out of hand and you need help that's when you realize that you care. In the end we all need help at some point. Hold it in won't do anything for you...might as well say something and get some help.

Voir les commentaires

2016-05-05T04:51:16+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 5 Mai 2016 à 04:51 AM

It keeps me up awake at night

thinking, wondering why is it so complicated and difficult to understand when my friends get it.

I try to put two and two but all I get is three something is missing and i cannot put my finger on it.

Lost I keep looking...searching for a piece that i never thought was there.

Another dream was it?

did it fade away...?

In the dark i look unknowingly and remember the time we lost

Voir les commentaires

2016-05-03T02:23:30+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 3 Mai 2016 à 02:23 AM

Just get tired of energetic people...they always gotta do something outta normal tryna look cool and acting like they can do everything. You can't do everything ! there are some things that you and i aren't good at. Talking...saying these nonsense and being loud -just can't take it

always gotta talk always on their feet doing some crazy things just sit yourself down. Hate it when people act crazy i can't ever get used to that. it's funny sometimes but not all the time. just got bored and tired

Voir les commentaires