Publié depuis Eklablog

Weary.

I have been to this place before and I always stood up and dust myself off. I don’t ever want to throw in the towel, truly I just want to find the peace that I deserve. I’ve allowed myself to be vulnerable, allowed myself to say that I am not as strong as I appear to be and that In fact I do need a hug, I’ve allowed myself to cry and mourn the loss of what once were. No amount of money, fame can make all of this pain go away. 

It’s easy to say that I am okay when someone ask you how you are because it’s an open ended question; I can chose to lie and say that I am fine or I can tell you exactly what’s going on. In this day in age when you just open to someone about all the pain you feel inside it’s considered as « trauma dumping » it’s so hard to find someone that you can feel free enough to share your pain to; most people want to piggy back on your pain and say oh yeah I’ve felt this way too and I know exactly what you’re feeling; in some way that can be encouraging but in that moment when someone just let themselves be vulnerable to you they want to hear that they are going to be okay, that it’s not the end and that life has so much more to offer. We all know that pain doesn’t last forever but at times we tend to forget that fact and dwell on it and even let ourselves get drown into our own sorrow because that’s what we’re used to. 

It takes courage to admit that you are not strong, that you need help, that you need someone to be there for you because the most coward thing you could do is pretend that you are okay and just give up on yourself. Wanting to get better mentally shows true bravery, I used to not be able to let myself be vulnerable or to not tell someone the whole truth about what I am feeling; but I am learning that being vulnerable is the most beautiful act of bravery it shows that I am open to change, open to get better and not accept where I’m at even if it may take years before I finally heal from all the pain that I feel inside.

You are not alone, together we can stand strong. :)