Publié depuis Eklablog

Some days I want to start all over again, just pack up all of my things and just rent a place in some small town where no one knows me not that they know who I am where I live now. But somehow I am a familiar face, they know to expect me everyday before 10 pm and they know what my car looks like. My neighbors know that I have cats when they see me bring them to the vet. They know that almost no one ever visits me and that I am always all alone with my headphones on when I take out the trash because I’m afraid to start a conversation with anyone. They know how much I shop because each time I go out I always come back with a bag. 

But in this town that I want to move in they won’t know anything about me. For a while They won’t know when to expect me, they won’t know how much I shop, they won’t know what my name is because no one will ever call my name when I walk by. Perhaps if I buy a small bungalow somewhere far out without anything else on sight but big tall trees I can escape the emptiness that this big city brings in my heart. 

Why can I just be like them? Why can’t I just go to parties, have fun, take pictures?… why must I always want to escape? Why do I always feel so different? I feel like a 90 year old woman stuck in a young woman’s body… yet I am kid-like most of the time. It’s quite a mystery to be me; yet I love who I am even if sometimes I feel like I am missing out.