Publié depuis Eklablog

Lately, I've been feeling like when Zlatan was leaving AC milan and retiring from football back in June...if you watch the reaction, it's very heart breaking and gut wrenching. I've never seen Zlatan cried before that clip, but this post is not about football...

I have been feeling so disconnected with myself and so sad at the same time but it's not like a depressed kind of feeling it's more like my life is changing and I am not sure how to adjust. I feel like I am changing, and things aren't the same anymore and that scares me, I also feel lost because I haven't been keeping up with my spiritual routine like I used to, but I am fixing that starting this week. The type of sadness I feel is the type that is bringing me closer to God and I am grateful that my conscience is able to communicate with me when things are wrong. I have been so busy doing nothing that I wasn't able to hear God when he spoke to me, I feel ashamed because I let get to a point where I feel numb, but I am grateful that I am able to change my ways.

I have been feeling so numb to everything that I deliberately and impulsively gotten a third cat! I don't regret it because Selie is fitting in very quickly with the boys, but it took me 1 year in a half to get a second cat because I took my time to think about it, I did not think this time and I just got her on the spot. Again, I don't regret getting her because she's home with me and I love her like my boys. I am not depressed just done with certain things and some people... I need to change scenery and most of my habits need to go. 

If I want a baby and which I do, then I need to change a lot of things before that; I also need to change before I get in a relationship, and this is the perfect time to do it while I am single and free as bird to do whatever I want :) 

I want to change for the better because life doesn't stop it just keeps going, it is my job to make sure that I get the most out of it.