Publié depuis Eklablog

Being alone.

Last week I was extremely sick to the point where I lost 5 pounds in a span of 3 days! on top of the 10 pounds I lost 2 weeks ago. Honestly, on Thursday last week I thought I was going to die! I thought wow I am literally going to die with my cat pixie laying next to me! And all the other cats will probably eat my remains when no one shows up to take me out the house. I know it was depressing thought but I was so weak; I could not eat, couldn’t stand because my head was spinning, I had a high fever and I just felt like the world stopped for me. 

Today a girl came to my job for consult I am not going to discuss anything about the patient but while I was doing a procedure on her she started crying when I told her how strong I thought she was after she told me what she’s been through … and I understood her completely. She apologized for crying and I told her it was fine and sometimes you just need to cry. She said she felt so alone on thanksgiving and so did I. I felt like crying inside; I don’t like the holidays because people are going to see their families and I am not. My family lives 7 hours away from me… I miss them a lot. I feel so alone, I want a friend and I want so one that I can rely on. I am there for everyone but no one is there for me. The people at my job care more for me than some people I know. 

I was sooo sick I didn’t go to meetings but no one called me except one friend, she texted me and wanted to know what was going on… although she stopped replying but at least she asked. I even reach out to other people to make sure they were ok while I was literally dying. I just feel so sick of everyone, I really do. I am entering my villain era and I do not care anymore.