Publié depuis Eklablog

These are my opinion… asked and answered 

• Would I fight a girl who keeps flirting with my boyfriend ?

First let me say this, I’ve never fought anyone in my entire life and I had the chance to do it multiple times but I chose to walk away because I don’t like violence. I am a very peaceful person, I don’t like loud noises or bright lights. I am very mellow and calm so for me to disrupt my peace to fight someone is something I never want to do if I can avoid it. If a girl keeps flirting with my man that is his fault! Why is he allowing another girl to flirt with him? Why is he entertaining it? Did he tell her he has a girlfriend? All of those questions would need to be answered by him. I have no commitment with that girl she can do whatever she wants, of course I would never be happy to see another girl flirt with my man but I will not fight her. If I caught him in the act I would walk up to him and not even acknowledge her because I don’t care about her, I care about what my man is doing. Now if she wants to fight me that’s another story, but even then I would not fight her I’m calling the cops and I will be pressing charges! What do I look like fighting another girl for a man who didn’t even put a ring on my finger ? That’s the last thing I would do. She will need to answer to the judge as to why she found it in her heart to fight me as an innocent by stander who was talking to my man. 

• Would I approach a man first?

Personally I’ve done this a couple times and I looked like a fool both of those times! It’s either he was already in a relationship or he didn’t feel the same way. Now would I do this again! Hell no! I would rather die than to chase a man or to even make any effort. The saying of “ I never approach girls they all talked to me” doesn’t apply to me because you gotta make the effort to have me as your girlfriend because I won’t chase any man for all I know he could ruin my life! why would I be excited to approach a man who didn’t even acknowledge me in the first place!? If I have to make the first move that already tells me he is not interested because men are hunters that’s what they do! When they want something they will do anything in their power to have it. 

• Do I think every married couple need a child ?

No, not everyone has what it takes to raise a child but many people who are not equipped still chose to do it. I am not judging them because we all have to learn but some people just never learn! So no not every couple can handle having a child especially if it is a very violent and toxic environment, bringing a child into a messy home in the intent to “bring each other closer” have never worked if anything having a child requires more work ! More patience! More money and less time for the couple to be alone… before having a child I think the couple need to evaluate their life and their circumstances to see if they are ready. In certain cases a child may arrive unplanned which happens all the time, in that case they will need yo start making changes as fast as they can to welcome the child into a loving home.

• Do I think a single mother could a raise a child successfully ?

No, just like I don’t think every parents who are together under the same roof can  raise a child successfully. I was raised by a single mother and I turned out great lol she was hardworking, loving and very strict with me. My mother did an amazing job! I love her more than anyone in the world, she is an absolute Angel and I would never say those things about her if she didn’t do a good job. My mother raised me to be respectful to everyone especially to the elderly people. She taught me basic human survival skills at a very young age, I am not sure how my dad would have raised me but I can say from a personal experience that is 100% for a single mother to raise a child. It will be tough but not impossible! 

• Do I just want a man to love me ? What’s more important in a relationship ?

Obviously love is very important, I don’t want a man to only love me because a relationship needs more than love to work! You could love someone a lot but still not have a great relationship. Respect is huge for me! And without it I don’t think I can ever be with a man. Besides love and respect I think having a relationship that is centered around God is the most important thing because if he loves God more than me there is nothing he will do that would put me in danger. If he strives to please God then surely he is a good man.

• How do I build my confidence ?

Believe it or not there are days where I feel insecure. Especially when I am PMSing which is right before my menstrual cycle starts, around that time  I can be very pessimistic, very depressed and unease with my body but for the most part I love who I am. I  don’t care how other people view me, I always try to walk into any room like I am suppose to be there. I don’t feel inferior to anyone nor do I think that I am better than anyone. I never put anyone above me, I do what’s best for me without apology. I take care of myself and working out is huge! Because it boost your self esteem and confidence even more. Always take care of yourself and always believe that you are unique and there’s no one out there like you.

• Do I think you should go back to an ex until you don’t love him anymore ?

no, I’ve done that before. Obviously I’ve never been in a relationship but there was a guy I was talking to who treated me like I was a gum at the bottom of his shoe and I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t just move on ! I would still talk to him even though he disrespected me and treated me sooo bad that I would cry myself to sleep. I would always go back to him because I thought one day all the pain that he caused me would make me stop loving him ! It’s sad I know but it didn’t work if anything I loved him even more because despite him treating me wrong there were good moments and I was chasing that high! I was always hoping that he would start treating me right one day but he never did. In order for you to move on, you have to get used to that person’s absence. At first it will hurt like hell because all you want to do is to call him on the phone, talk to him and see him but that’s when you have  stop yourself and let your desires starve. Stop reaching out to them, avoid them like the plague, cut all ties with them. Never look at their page on social media, never try to find out what they are doing. Just focus on you and your growth. Trust me there is someone better out there for you, if you are aware that you need to move on it’s because you know that person is not right for you. So honor yourself and move on…

• Is Trauma dumping okay?

No it is not okay! Trauma dumping is the act of telling someone about your traumas without any warning and even if you did warn them it is still not okay. I’ve done this to my friends before and for that I am sorry! I would call a random friend and start saying how depressed I am or for example I would share how I have suicidal thoughts ( it’s just an example I am not currently going through that thank God!) but yeah I would tell them what is wrong with me and then they would feel bad. Of course if you are struggling mentally you need to reach out to someone but not to a random person ! Some people are not equipped to hear all of that and they won’t be able to help except tell you “ you need friends” “stop being depressed “ “ you need to go out more “ and I don’t blame them lol because I would probably say the same thing if I didn’t go through those things myself. Telling someone who’s depressed to go out more and make more friends is like telling an anorexic person to eat more ! It’s not that simple! Someone who’s really depressed needs a little bit  more time and they also need therapy as well. A depressed person is not going to stop being depressed by simply walking outside if it was that simple a lot of people wouldn’t be depressed! They need a support system and someone who’s willing to listen and not judge. 

But trauma dumping on a complete stranger or  people you don’t know well is awkward and it’s wrong because you don’t know what that person is going through but instead you are choosing to put all of the spotlight on you be mindful and seek help from a therapist instead.