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2021-06-21T17:10:56+02:00

one show that moved me.

Publié par Gaelle.R 21 Juin 2021 à 05:10 PM

It's the show Rizzoli and Isles which I am currently watching, I love the series because of how much fun the cast is having and you can see that they all get along but at the end of season 4 one of the detective suddenly wasn't there and I felt a void because I loved him he was so handsome and funny but they said that he went to visit his mother in Georgia. Sadly, at the beginning of the season 5 episode 1 the lieutenant got a phone call that detective Frost had a terrible car accident but when they got to the scene he was dead. I was mad because I thought he left the show for some other big role in another movie or show but I went ahead in search his name oh God I wish I hadn't done that because he actually died in real life ! from a self inflicted gunshot wound because apparently he had bipolar disorder. I was so sad yesterday, I was crying like I knew the guy because I loved his character and now I can't even finish the show because everything reminds me of him or I think of something he would say. His death really doesn't sit right with me, I would never think that he had bipolar disorder because he's so charming, always laughing... which is why we should all be nice to everyone because we don't know what kind of battle they are facing behind closed doors.

I don't mean to put anyone in a depressive mood but this is serious, metal health is extremely important and depression is no joke. No one should make any types of jokes about being depressed or suicidal because that is so insensitive to the people who are actually going through it. Let's be kind and more understandable to one another because one smile or a kind gesture toward someone who is going through something tragic behind closed doors can help save their lives. I will never condemn anyone who is having suicidal thoughts nor do I support it. I want all of us me included to express how we feel even in those dark moments when we think that no one cares or that we don't matter please share those thoughts because the more we encourage those feelings the harder it is for us to believe otherwise.

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2021-06-21T16:53:45+02:00

one movie that fascinates me.

Publié par Gaelle.R 21 Juin 2021 à 04:53 PM

I wouldn't say that this movie fascinates me but the movie "words" with Bradley cooper is certainly every writer's nightmare because the writer in this movie wrote a very exceptional, heartfelt, sensational novel about his life with his wife; how he was an English man and she was a French girl but somehow their love story broke barriers and even though they did not speak the same language at first but their love was understood. The writer lost his daughter after he got married with his wife and after their lost his wife fell into a great depression while he became a drunkard but one day he sat in front of his type writer and wrote a whole novel in one night without stopping ! (that's what happens when a writer is truly inspired) Sadly he left his manuscript in a briefcase on the train while he was traveling but despite his desperate measures to find the briefcase he never did and he left behind his dream of becoming a writer.

A few years later Bradley cooper appear in the story he was also a writer but he wasn't talented enough to get published by his publicist because he always hold himself back in his writing and he never let himself be completely free. He also got married and went to France for his honey moon and he got himself a briefcase at an antique shop, he went back to the US with the briefcase and one night while he was struggling with a story at his computer he open the briefcase to only find the manuscript of the previous talented writer. He was so amazed and so moved by the story that he rewrote the story in his computer but under his name because he was fantasizing with the idea that he could come up with such novel. The next day, he went to work and while his wife was cleaning is office area she stumbled across the copy of the manuscript in his laptop; She was mesmerized as well that she got really excited and took him out for dinner to celebrate and she told him that he should publish the story. Bradley cooper was lost for words and he could not admit to his wife that the story was not his (he's already fraud for not admitting it) so he published the story and later came massive success! but one day while he was in the park he met an old man who ask him about the book and questioned him about how he came up with the story and of course he could not answer because the story was not his ! in fact the old man is the talented writer who wrote the story!!

The first time I watched that movie I was mad and sad for the old man but Bradley learned his lesson in the movie...

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2021-06-21T14:26:13+02:00

quotes.

Publié par Gaelle.R 21 Juin 2021 à 02:26 PM

No one knows this but quotes have saved my life countless of times when I could've given up on everything it was the only thread that was keeping me alive. When I am fighting back my tears and I get a notification on my phone with a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, Albert Camus, Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Maya Angelou, John Keats and even Sylvia Plath despite her tragic death I still find comfort in her poetry and among others... I am surviving each day with the written word and if I couldn't read I am not sure who I would've become. Words have saved my life more than people ever did, poetry is my solace in the darkest of times and my only escape.

When words fails to come out of my mouth to express all the hurt and pain that I am experiencing deep down in my soul the words that I write says it all.

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2021-06-21T14:18:57+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 21 Juin 2021 à 02:18 PM

Tears falling down my face,

dripping over the pages spoiling every word;

wishing my heart would stop because the pain is unbearable.

Smiling so they don't know,

haunting memories keeping me awake and chasing my dreams away.

I want to scream but I can't find my voice, it's trapped...

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2021-06-20T01:34:29+02:00

Q & A

Publié par Gaelle.R 20 Juin 2021 à 01:34 AM

I'm only doing this because I'm bored not that anyone would be interested in my likes and dislikes!

favorite movie: Flipped (it's on Netflix now) and timothy green (fun fact that one was the first movie I watch in theaters in the US) I have other favorite movies but those ones will forever make me cry and smile.
My biggest pet peeve: People giving out my phone number like that's a breach of privacy! if I give you my phone number it was for a reason and I don't need you to be giving it out like a food sample.
favorite shows: Smallville(it's another version of superman but with the previews), Rizzoli & Isles (it's a crime show that was filmed right here in Boston), Gilmore girls (About a beautiful relationship between a mother and daughter), Looney tunes(I watch that every night before bed)...I have others but for now, that's all I can think of.
what's my first thought when I wake up?: where's Archie and where's my phone.
movies that make me cry a lot: Ps. I love you, titanic, homeless to Harvard(it's on youtube), a walk to remember. remember me (with Robert Pattinson), Me before you, Charlie st cloud, Romeo and Juliet, endless love but the one with Brooke Shield, she was so beautiful in that movie.
favorite weather? : winter and don't ask me why.

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2021-06-18T18:48:05+02:00

aftermath.

Publié par Gaelle.R 18 Juin 2021 à 06:48 PM

"It doesn't hurt anymore,

seeing your face no longer weighs heavy on my heart.

Hearing your voice doesn't make me jump anymore,

I haven't dreamed about you for a long time now.

You could say you miss me and I wouldn't know what to say,

you're not on my mind anymore and I forgot what it felt like to think about you."

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2021-06-18T16:22:13+02:00

About Archie.

Publié par Gaelle.R 18 Juin 2021 à 04:22 PM

Last time I talked about how Archie was doing I was looking for something to calm him down and how it's been very hot for him lately with his big long fur coat...anyways he is still agitated and I have yet to take him to the vet for a manicure because his nails are way too long right now and my hands aren't looking pretty with all the scratches.

Archie is quite stressed lately because there has been a lot going on and he hasn't got used to the big change yet but he will be okay. I am looking to adopt another cat but not now definitely by this time next year I want to have 2 cats because he's always in the house alone when I am at work. I really hate leaving him alone I wish I had a camera set up to see what he's doing and I am sure that he is very bored when I am not there which is why he clings to me when I get home. He is like a baby, I have to feed him, clean his paws after he uses the litter box...what I don't do for him is bathe him he does that by himself unless he gets himself dirty then I would have no choice than to scrub him with soap, I only did that once and he barely sleeps with me; he will sleep nearby but not next to me !

Anyways he is doing well I am putting off his surgery until maybe September, I am still debating about neutering him which should happen some time this year before he turns 1. I would want to do it while he's a baby or a toddler? I am not sure that he is a little baby anymore because he is so tall and big...

we are doing good, except that he wakes me up every morning at 4 am! that was my fault because he tricked me ! one time he woke me up at 4 am I fed him so now he thinks if he wakes me up I will feed him but I've stopped feeding him at 4am so he can let me sleep so now he decides to knock things off my dresser, my counter ugh he is such a brat. I don't want to spank him but I did last night and I know that he would resent me for it but it was a very light spank on his big posterior ! he was so mad at me when I woke up this morning he wouldn't even come to me when I called him; he can be such a brat :(

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2021-06-18T14:20:21+02:00

hey there.

Publié par Gaelle.R 18 Juin 2021 à 02:20 PM

I was going to start an article about what growing up feels like but I think it's very obvious that I am growing up and that all of you are too. I don't want to point the elephant in the room but anyways a lot of things has happened in the past couple of weeks but I am not one to share with the world what's going on in my life, I never like to talk about my life with just anyone unless I trust the person I am talking to and that's very rare. I've learn that one cannot live life alone and not needing anyone, we all need someone even if we think that we have everything. Life is never what it seems because it is so unexpected and unpredictable; in order for us to get out of a funk we need a support system and people that we trust to feel comfortable enough to ask for help.

I am not one who's always eager to ask for help and that is probably one of the hardest things that I have to do, I've always wanted to be the one to save the day and the one who can always make stuff happen alone without needing anyone's help but it's just not possible. I am very grateful for everyone who has put up with me for this long, who has always been there for me and ready to help me; as I am writing this I can feel tears running down my face... It has been really tough lately and life is hard in general and just when you think you are solving a problem another one comes to the surface. I've been feeling like I can never catch a break like what else can life get from me at this point? I am literally waving my white flag because I am defeated but it's just not enough.

One thing for sure is that I am not depressed nor do I want to give up, despite everything this time I am truly happy and at peace. All of that is possible because of Jehovah, if it wasn't for him I'll probably be at a bottom of pit somewhere and I mean literally because I wouldn't know what to do so I would just surrender myself to pain and misery. I have been very self destructive in the past and to be honest it is not something easy to overcome because I let this mentality consumed me for so long that trying to elevate myself and putting the broken pieces back together feels like a tedious task. I am always here to support anyone who is going through something bigger than them, I am always here to listen because I've been there and all I wanted was someone to be there to listen to me even if they don't understand but their presence would make me feel like I am not alone...that is the reason why I want to write because I want to help people with my words so I can touch their hearts even if I am miles away. I've always liked authors who care about their readers and who want to help their audience overcome something without trying to come up with a boring narrative with a catchy title just so they can make money.

I have nothing else to say at this point, I wish everyone an amazing day and stay safe...

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2021-06-14T17:14:36+02:00

5 hard truth that we all need to accept at some point in life.

Publié par Gaelle.R 14 Juin 2021 à 05:14 PM

As humans we all go through hardships, disappointments and a few setbacks but life can be easier if we try to accept those things that I am about to list below.

1. you cannot please everyone, as much as you want to make everyone like you or want to get along with everyone you meet it's just not possible to do that, why? because we all have different personalities, different upbringing and some people might not even have a valid reason for not liking you. When you accept that it is not possible to please everyone that will save you from trying to be someone else just to be liked or to be accepted by people who already doesn't like you, not only does it take away part of your true personality but it can also be physically and emotionally draining, just let the negativity go and surround yourself with people who already love you for who you are.

2. Never dim your light to make someone else shine. I know sometimes we don't want to be in the spotlight and I can relate to that but my fear of being in the spotlight go further as not wanting other people to take pictures of me... (side note that is part of who I am and I just don't know how to change that quite yet) you can still shine without being in the spotlight and the people who are close to you can see your strength and potential, perhaps they might even be jealous of you because of some of the qualities that you possess but that shouldn't be any of your concern. Be who you are, shine bright and stand up for what you believe in.

3. Material things will not fill the void you have inside. As a former shopaholic I can testify that buying a lot of stuff can not only cause buyer's remorse but can also cause you to find yourself into a lot of debt. The void that you may feel inside can be because you don't have enough friends or any real connection with anyone and as much as you would like to connect with that watch or purse you just bought it cannot fill that empty space. Before you march over to the mall check-in with yourself ask yourself why am I going? do I have what I am going to buy in my closet already? Did I pay my bills already?. As superficial as this all may seem it can become a big problem if not addressed in time.

4.spend time with yourself. Most people hate to be alone and they associate being alone as abnormal but truth is those people who cannot stand their own company already hate themselves and cannot stand the mere second of being alone. Look at it this way if you hate spending time with yourself what makes you think someone else will love to spend time with you? As I always say it all starts with you because you are the solution to your problem.

5. Never compare your life to someone else's. Truth is we all have done this at some point in our lives but do not dwell on it and when you find yourself comparing your life to someone else's quickly remind yourself that we are all different and what works for someone else may not work for you and that's okay because we all have our own strength, our own idea of success, our own life circumstances. If you keep looking at other people's life you will find something to be jealous about because there is always going to be someone who is just more beautiful, more successful, more talented and overall better than who you are if you are looking to find it. Instead focus on being your most authentic self and keep striving to reach your goals at your own term that way you are not in competition with anyone else.

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2021-06-12T05:24:03+02:00

what those things mean when I say them.

Publié par Gaelle.R 12 Juin 2021 à 05:24 AM

Chances are if we talked I've said most of these things to you and if you are a stranger or an old friend I probably said these to you a lot more than I would say to my friends.

"Gee thanks!": I am not thanking you and I don't like your compliment or anything you just said to me.

"oh wow": I'm actually not surprised and I have no idea what else to say.

"right": whenever I say right it always means I heard what you just say but I'm still going to do what I want to do.

"no problem": it's a problem.

"it's ok": it's never okay.

"I'm sorry": If I say sorry to you twice in the same sentence I probably feel like I am bothering you and I am not sorry lol.

"take care": I only say this to people I don't intend to talk to again.

"This is so niiice" if I accentuate on the iiice, it's not nice and I hate it.

there's more but that's too much in one night.

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