hello

It's been a while ... I have been busy and those snowstorms slowed me down a little bit. I am happy that I finally got to rest. Got to think, realized stuff and moved on from unnecessary  things. I used to not know what's more important. I used to wonder and not know what I an wondering for. Today as I sit on my bed blogging this I just realized that people notice everything. I mean I already know that but I didn't realized that sometimes they do actually notice everything. From the way you walk, hold your breath, maintain your posture. I know they noticed all that because I noticed all that too. I can see when someone is uncomfortable, trying to impress someone. I can see all that but when it's you who's doing it you're hoping and almost believing that no one saw it but yes they did. Yep they saw you catch your breath, trying to clean that stain on your shirt by the fact they just choose to look away so you won't feel embarrassed but I know some people will not look away. And you're like Nah they didn't see me they just started looking but really they been watching you the whole time. It's kinda embarrassing to think about all the things that someone noticed about you.

People have seen me do some crazy things before lol like I didn't know they were watching. I remember when I was little I was not here I was in my Country and the house had a huge backyard I would go there and scream when I had a bad day lol and one day someone who was visiting the house was there and I thought I was alone so I screamed and as I was screaming I can see him looking at me like what the hell is wrong with you? I stopped and I started laughing hysterically!! He was confused  because I came running from wherever I came from just to stand there and scream and now I am laughing. The person got a bit scared and told my mom I should probably get checked LOL OMG !!! She was like nah she does that a lot. The person just look at me and left. Oh well.  Can't make a better first impression now...

I'm sure y'all talk to yourselves right? OH well I think It's self therapeutic and you should try it sometimes, When you feeling less powerful tell yourself what you want to hear. Sometimes you yourself bring you down and it's on you so you're the one who has to pick yourself back up.