weekly update.

Looks like we are slowly going back to our normal lives. I still take the social distancing seriously although some will argue that it's because I love staying by myself that's why I am more than happy to stay away from everyone but that is also true. I love being alone but not for too long because then I am going to start wondering if I matter to anyone, wow here I go again being emotional; but no I do not have that problem at the moment because I know that even if I don't matter to a lot of people here on earth at least I matter to God, that to me is the most important validation that I could ever receive. 

we all need human interactions I agree and I know that I am not the average typical human who craves the company of random people but I would hang out with some people once in a while. I am trying really hard not to bury myself in my own world because the truth is I can and I have done it countless of times. Now that things are slowly getting back to normal because of the vaccine I do feel a little anxious but not because soon we will finally be able to see everyone and be in large crowds but because I am not sure if I'll be able to adapt. I have accepted the fact that being away from everyone and seeing people on a screen as the new normal that I am afraid that I will not be able to handle being with everyone! I am just being a little paranoid as always but I know that I am not the only one who feels this way. Some of us have embraced being alone that being around people especially without a mask will be kind of weird.

Don't get me wrong I want Covid to be gone, we all have lost someone to this tragic pandemic including me but somehow I am still panicking, what if it's too soon? what if I cannot handle it? so many questions... But I know that I will be okay as time goes on and if you feel the same way as I do you will be okay as well.