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" I write poetry for the dreamer and the one who fell in love at first sight without giving it a second thought."
2022-01-08T03:25:38+01:00
Archives
2022-01-08T03:13:20+01:00
Let's change it.
Do you ever find yourself complaining about the same thing over and over again? well if that makes you feel better we have all complained, even the most positive person you can think of does it, it is a part of human life and I don't think anyone can take it go away completely. But we can try to change the things we complain a lot about because at some point it will annoy everyone around you and it will even change the way you act as well.
If you find yourself feeling bad about not having enough friends and you're complaining about it like I was last year well you can do 2 things!
1. be sad about it and not let yourself make new friends.
or
2. you can go out there and try your best to meet amazing people because as long as you're open to it you will meet fun people.
I am not talking about making friends only because I am not quite an expert at that either but with anything in life that you may be dwelling on right now try to change it before it becomes the only thing you talk about. Life is too precious to let a simple problem become the highlight of your everyday life. If there are some negative people around you stay away from you, if there's a group of people that aren't a good influence on you and you caught on to it on time then take your distance. Well, I know that it is easier said than done, and coming from someone like me you might think that it is easy for me to say...but it's not. we are all humans therefore we have a lot of feelings and bottled-up emotions that may come up to the surface long after something traumatic or bad happens; give yourself some time to process everything and don't be too hard on yourself.
2022-01-05T02:05:25+01:00
How to emotionally detach.
" Too much or too little of anything is not good, we all need balance."
In life, you cannot always afford to rely on others for your well-being and happiness because that is your responsibility. If you find yourself getting too emotionally involved in a relationship or in a friendship then hear me out. The fact that you have friends or a relationship is great but always remember 2 things:
- you cannot pour from an empty cup.
- your partner is only there to compliment you not to change your life.
what I mean by you cannot pour from an empty cup is that you can't give the best of yourself if you don't have anything good to give and it is fine for you to take a step back before you start sabotaging yourself. You cannot rely on your partner to give you the life you've always dreamed of because that is your job. The purpose of a partner is to support, bring some form of stability, honesty, loyalty, and love. Let me give you a few signs of what emotionally involved looks like.
1. being clingy and not understanding that your partner also has a life or feeling entitled to that person's time.
2. Getting easily offended and causing arguments over small things that could've been solved with just a little communication.
3. assuming the worse from your partner because you're overthinking.
4. calling them every hour of the day and not giving them time to breathe.
5. being afraid of losing them or cannot imagine your life without them _ talking about dying if they were to break up or leave you.
6. Being controlling and wanting to know everything that they are doing, you are suffocating them if you do that, let them live life and still grow on their own.
Those signs are nothing to be afraid of, I have been there and I am sure a lot of us have been too emotionally involved before. But how can you avoid feeling like that?
Being emotionally detached doesn't mean that you don't love your partner and it's always good to create boundaries because it will be very beneficial for the relationship to work.
- When making decisions try to always remain rational don't go off emotions because your emotions can blind you from the obvious.
- See your partner for who they are, do not put them on a pedestal, and never create scenarios in your head when you first meet someone or just got in a relationship with them because chances are you might end up being disappointed.
- never assume anything good or bad without consulting your partner. For example, never assume that your partner will always be fine with everything you bring to the table because they might not so it's best to talk it over before you decide for them.
- Have other friends and have your own hobbies; never put too much pressure on your partner because they also have their own personal problems as well.
- Never rely on anyone to make you happy or to make you in a better mood. If you find yourself seeking them for happiness please take a step back and try to find something on your own that can make you feel better, try drawing, try taking a walk, pray, talk to your parents. Yes, they can make you happy and by the way, your partner can lighten up your mood if you're sad but don't always rely on them to make you happy because it will feel like you are using them.
- always assume that one-day things might change and always prepare yourself for the worse just in case it happens because it might and what will you do then? but if you always keep in the back of your mind that this might not go as plan it will not hurt as much. But still, give it your best...
- never treat a simple relationship like it's a marriage. When you are dating, you are seeking a potential mate to be your husband or wife but never give them the title until you actually marry them. Because in case it doesn't work out you won't be too disappointed and they won't be too disappointed or broken because you gave them false promises and too much hope. Treat the relationship for what it is while you still give it your best...
- If you're a girl never show him you love him too much, because God created man to love his wife and for the wife to respect her husband so always keep that in mind.
- never rely on your partner for financial support, always work to earn for yourself, and always remain independent.
- never cry in front of a man if he's breaking up with you even if it hurts because that is a sign of weakness and at that point, you are very emotionally involved. Walk away with your head held high and cry later...
- let your partner tell you his or her intention don't assume that she or he will drop everything for you, listen to the words they say when they talk and watch their actions as well don't just believe they will give you everything your heart desire.
2022-01-02T22:56:47+01:00
Just do it!
As Nike put it " just do it" and I couldn't agree more, now that I've taken some time to analyze all the things I did wrong in 2021, I came to the realization that I messed it all up when I talked about everything I wanted to do instead of doing them. I mean that is what January is all about because it is the longest month of the year, so it's only fair that I take some time to ponder over the things I did wrong so I can become a better person. As my personality trait allows me to dig in the past to learn the lesson from all the mistakes that I've made. On that note, I encourage all of you to take the Myer Briggs personality test to find out more about yourself. I don't know if it's because I love psychology and I find it to be so fascinating but I honestly think the personality test is the best thing to ever exist needless to say I am in fact an introvert. Alright that's enough about me I am starting to sound conceited, let's get into the topic...
"Just do it " is our motto of the year for both you & me, and I mean it literally if there is something you want or have been dying to do stop talking about it for the 100th time we're just going to do it. I promise not to talk about how much I want to go to Paris anymore unless I am booking a flight to go or unless I am already there and I want to share the experience while it is still fresh.
Let me give you a few graphic examples...
Instead of telling people about traveling and wanting to explore the world just do it, only talk about it if you're on your way to the airport or already there. By doing this, it will not only make you happier but it will also improve your self-esteem because it will make you feel like you are accomplishing your goals instead of sitting around and talking about them.
Instead of telling people, you want to read more and that you need to find the time to read, just pick up a book and start reading. That will improve your mental health as reading is a great exercise for the brain but it will also improve your vocabulary. I am no longer talking about how I miss being a bookworm I am just going to pick up a book and start reading, If I talk about reading it's to only do a book review.
Instead of talking about working out just start a membership at the gym or just get a day pass at the gym to see if you enjoy it and quite frankly when you first start working out at the gym you never fully get comfortable at first it's only after a couple of weeks you finally feel a lot more comfortable to try more rigorous exercises. If you don't like the gym instead of talking about it just buy equipment to work out at home. You will get better results if you just do it!
there are far more examples I can take, like for instance if you see a girl you like just go and talk to her, don't think about how much you like her because that won't solve anything and for more you know she could also like you as well but you'll never know unless you start talking to her and eventually tell her how you feel... I mean take your time (that's another topic, I got you)
Anyways I have wasted so many great opportunities in 2021 that this year I just want to do all the things that I was so afraid to do, if you want to do the same thing kudos to you I admire that!
2022-01-01T17:38:49+01:00
confidence.
Let's start this year off like this, yup with confidence because why not?
Throughout my 2 in a half-decade on this earth, I've learned that confidence has nothing with beauty. You can be in a wheelchair and still exude confidence and look more attractive than someone standing on their own 2 feet. Confidence has everything to do with the way you carry yourself and see life in general, if you walk around all sad with your head down don't be surprised if no one talks to you and I am saying this from experience. When I am going through a depressive episode and I let my emotions dictate how I interact with other people, I don't initiate conversation and I can walk into a room and nobody noticed that I am there why? because I don't look like I want to be there and I have so much negativity around my energy that no one really wants to talk to me. But if I didn't let my emotion shows this could have been a whole different experience. How can you look more confident and inviting?
1. Even if you're sad, going through a break up you can still fake a smile. I know the first time you start smiling it won't be genuine but that's okay at least you're trying to be positive and you're doing your best to interact with people even if that's the last thing you want to do. When you fake a smile believe me that soon enough you will find a reason to smile! Because when you give someone who knows you a fake smile they can tell you " why you're smiling like that where's my beautiful smile?" and soon enough you're smiling from ear to ear :) doesn't mean that the problem went away but at least you look more positive and people will want to be around you the more positive you are and hey maybe one of those people has a solution to your problem.
2. when you walk into a room with your head down, you deny yourself of your power. Yes, when you walk into a room with your head held up high and your shoulders back with an inviting smile on your face, immediately you look 10 times more attractive... it doesn't matter who was already in the room your confidence just makes a difference and don't be surprised if everyone is looking at you.
I know that it is easier said than done and that's okay if in the beginning you don't feel confident enough to walk into a room like you own it but practice makes perfect and I am still learning. When I was 50 pounds heavier than I have ever been my whole life I was not that confident, well that was last year and I would find myself declining invitation to go out because I didn't feel beautiful... but now when I look back at those pictures I took I say to myself "if only you knew" I didn't look as bad as I thought and all I needed was a bit of confidence.
3 keys to confidence.
1. the first thing you need to do is to love yourself the way you are. No matter if you are short or tall well let me tell you something I am not that tall I am actually 5'3 and some days I can look just over 5 feet but let me dress up with high heels on and step out looking like I am over 6 feet tall...yes high heels do give me confidence but I still need to love myself when I am not wearing heels with just my sneakers on or bare feet even because those are the times I am fully myself. There are people shorter than me who are probably just over 4 feet and they are so powerful! so now, what's my excuse? short or tall it all comes down to your demeanor. If you are on a weight loss journey, don't forget to love yourself the way you currently look like yes enjoy the weight loss journey and still take pictures.
2. accept what you cannot change. All of us have something we hate about our body and unless we get surgery it will always remain like that and sometimes you can't even get surgeries for it. Instead of wishing you look any different start accepting your flaws and most of the time the things you hate about your body are something someone else wishes they had. So embrace all your flaws and quirks because when you do that no one else can make you feel bad about it.
3. Never compare yourself to someone else. That is one of the reasons why I left Instagram, I started to feel like I was comparing the way I look with other people and I was like 19, or 20 years old at the time and I didn't think that my body would change as I get older. Let me tell you something your body can change at any given time and your beauty standard can change as well so instead of comparing what you look like to those Instagram models or anyone else just focus on yourself and only compete with your old self. Remember there is always room to grow and those models never really look like their pictures so focus on yourself and try to be better than who you were before.
2022-01-01T02:06:51+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
" If I knew I would've never, but then again how could I ever learn?"