Publié depuis Eklablog

hey there;

it's been a long week already for me. The time has changed I don't know if i'm happy or mad...I guess it's fine. Life has taken a different turn, I am fine with it at first I was salty about it but I've grown for those past few weeks. I could clearly see how immature, dumb, childish I can be at times. I don't feel too bad about it because if I sit here and feel sorry for myself then I'll never grow up. I can't also be happy about it at all because I cannot accept my situation I need to do better. I am not going to sit here and be like I am fully mature for my age but I am not immature either I am just in construction...I have made mistakes and I am learning from them. I feel bad because of them because I knew better I just choose to act like I didn't care. In life we all have to learn but we must take full responsibility for our action.

I am an old soul I don't like childish stuff, but I can act childish at times and I don't know if it's because I am trying to be someone that I am not but when I am alone and I am reasoning with myself I sound like i'm 70 years old. I put myself in a mess and I  solve it with my own thinking so why did I choose to put myself in that situation? I don't know it's like I wake up and I am like " OKAY what should I do to mess up my life today? alright let me mess this up real quick" and after that I'm like " really Gaelle you really did that like what were you thinking? how stupid were you to think you could get away with that? like you know better." I think I am more disappointing in myself than other people are of me and that only push me to do better even more, you being mad at me is nothing let me be mad at myself and you'll see a whole different person.

I know that some people may think that I am immature but that's their opinion of me they don't know half of the woman I am and half of the things that I have to deal with on a daily basis, I give myself props for being this strong when so many people tried to make me feel weak and tried to tear me down just because they were intimidated by my presence but guess what? I am not going anywhere if that's where I am supposed to be best believe it I will be there. Unless I decide that it is time for me to go you cannot make me leave just because you hate me. Your opinion of me don't matter, your hate doesn't scare me... I love myself. Even if I make mistake I am still proud of what I've accomplish this far. 

You should appreciate your success, you should keep working hard even if you fail that should only motivate you to work  10 times harder. You can change for the better you have to believe it because I bet you most people will choose to remember where you went wrong and ignore the fact that you can change and become a better human being. Believe you can do better, give yourselves that second chance because you need to.