Publié depuis Eklablog

hey you guys,

How is it going? for me I am not quite sure, I am either on the verge of a mental breakdown or a few inches away from total bliss. I'm hoping that whatever comes next makes me happier than I've ever been...but I know it may just be another disappointment. I am so ready for another heartache and misfortune that I will not be surprised if it does happen because I've already braise myself for it.

I am currently reading a sad book about betrayal and it's probably not good for my mental health if I keep reading the depressing part of the story but I need to get through those hurtful parts to get to the better part of the story... this is what life is all about. We get sad and then we try to wait it out until we get happy again.

One thing that I am proud of this year is the fact that I have read more than 10 books in 8 months! I am so happy that I am becoming my old self again because I was such a bookworm in high school, all I did was read book after book until I went to college and got busy with the hardest parts of life.  I was such a recluse to society in my teen years and even now to! I barely go out to meet anyone all I do is work and spiritual things. I want to find some excitements in life, I really do but there's only a handful of people that I relate to and who seems to understand me but I get on their nerve most of the time. I expect everyone in my life to walk away, I really do and if they do I will cry for a day but I'll be okay because all I ever had is myself.

I am going through something that I haven't told anyone about and I don't plan on saying a word but as a result I have been distracted lately...I feel so disconnected and right now I am a little bit sad. I don't feel like trying to fight for anything anymore I would much rather roll over and play dead.