Publié depuis Eklablog

Moment of epiphany…

I realize why I don’t even date anyone; or why I pretend to want to be in a relationship because truth is if I wasn’t going to church (meetings) seeing people get married I wouldn’t care for it. I don’t care for marriage as much as anyone would think! I want to be happy! I want to be famous for my books! I want to adopt beautiful kids ! Collect beautiful, expensive  and exotic cats. I want the joy of seeing my kids grow, doing their hair, taking them to football practice or ballet. Every night when I lay my head down I see myself as a famous writer at a book signing! I see myself in a jeep with all of my kids strapped in going to a football game! ;)

About relationships: I am scared! Like what if it works out? What if I get into a relationship? Then what? Like I have to talk to you every day! And tell you what I am doing? Gosh I hate that. I love being free! I love going wherever and whenever I want without telling someone. I tell my mother everything, but she knows not to ask me what time I’m coming home, that just gets on my nerves! don’t ask me that if I want to tell you trust me I will. I don’t like talking all the time; sometimes it may be hard for me to shut up especially in moments where I need to be quiet and I may be quiet in moment where we need to talk. I am weird, I am a glamorous cat lady and I hate parties! I love books! I love my friends, I love football and it’s actually scary lol some guys find it shocking that I know so much about football. 

You would have to trust me because I do whatever I want; of course, I will never cheat because I am super loyal, but it takes me a while to open up but once you’re in  you will realize wow, I didn’t know her at all! 

I have so many boundaries! 

• I don’t like being touched in public I hate  public display of affection.
• I need my space after work  don’t call me right away let me feed my cats, eat and take a shower first. 
• Don’t call me on FaceTime all the time I hate it, I don’t like pictures… I just hate seeing myself on any devices. 
• Don’t hug me on my period, I hate being touched around that time and at the same time I will be super needy or some months I may want you to hug me more often. 
• I might start crying out of nowhere or be sad so if you don’t like an emotional person well, I’m not for you. 
• I don’t like people reading things I wrote if I haven’t made it public, if I finds out you read my journal, I will break up with you! 
• Don’t stare at me for too long! It makes me uncomfortable but at the same time I like it so that person would have to know when to do it. Which is psychic.
• You are not allowed to meet my cats if I don’t trust you. If I let you be around my cats I must trust you or I must like you. 
• I have all of my notifications off even my text messages. If I don’t manually open an app then I have no idea what’s going on; I set it up this way because I don’t want to know. If you call me you won’t get through the first try and I  also set it up this way so that you can give up on the first try and not try again. But if you do oh well I guess we gotta talk now.  
  Do you want to do all of that work? I know whoever try to keep up is in it for the long run because you may have to track me down at some point because I will disappear one day and you might need to hire a detective to find me.