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" you're either obssesed with me or you don't like me, there's no in between"
2025-10-15T14:01:31+02:00
Archives
2025-10-14T20:11:13+02:00
questions answered
1. what does the soft version of you need today?
just cuddles, no talking but to just be held by someone I love.
2 Describe your ideal slow morning?
Alright so I sleep in and wake up at 10am, make some breakfast : bacon, eggs, grilled or roasted potatoes. Eat while I watch looney tunes, have a cup of peppermint tea after take a nap again wake up at 2pm lol
3. what helps you feel safest in your body?
My legs because I feel like I can run away from danger
4. in what moments do you feel truly seen?
when I share my writing with someone and they compliment me on it because they love it :)
5. write a letter to your future self.
Dear Gaëlle,
Today you are in a rush and you want to accomplish soooo many things, among them you want to publish your first manuscript, fall in love and get married. I know you're looking back at me and you're smiling, although I can't see what you do in the future but I can tell you've accomplished a lot of great things. I love you sweet baby:) you deserve all the wonderful things in the world including having a child:)
6. what 3 things that made you smile this week?
well today is Tuesday but 1) yesterday while I was chilling on the couch Archie came to snuggle up on the couch next to me and I was caressing his head but because I was doing something else I stopped petting him and he looked back at me and push his head towards my hands that made me smile. 2) during my work out an old lady came in and she was doing the best that she could but she was staring at me I thought maybe she was thinking " when I was young I was strong just like her" I smile because I pray to live past 60 yet she's wayyy older than that and she's in the gym working out! she is the strong one. 3) I am currently reading a romantic story and every time the guy shows her just how much he loves her I smile so big because I can only dream of a love like that.
7. what does peace look like to you?
Alright I am sitting by the window where I am wrapped in a blanket and have a nice view of a lake and the lake is part of a garden, with a romantic book in my hand while I am sipping on my matcha. It's cloudy but not rainy.
8. what part of your younger self needs attention today?
my sudden need to isolate because I don't think anyone will understand. I did feel this way when I was younger however now that I am an adult I have a lot of resources I can reach out to and there are so many people who love me...I just need to reach out.
9. How does your body ask for rest?
I get cranky, sleepy and my work outs are bad... which means I need a rest day.
10. what helps you romanticize the present moment?
Moving slower, putting my phone away, smiling at other people and just breathe instead of rushing to get to the next thing.
11. who or what makes you feel held?
My mom.
12. how do you nurture softness when life feels harsh?
I take a long shower with lighted scented vanilla candles, wear my pjs after and then I go to sleep lol
14. what tiny routine help you feel grounded?
Journaling daily while I write down all of my thoughts to the best of my capabilities.
15. describe a version of yourself you're slowly becoming?
I am becoming more disciplined, I hold myself accountable...
16. How do you show yourself love without needing to deserve it?
I provide for myself : food, clothes and I make sure I am well taken care of and to me that is a great act of service towards myself.
17. what kind of softness do you crave in relationships?
stability and being able to rely on my man for emotional support especially when I am sad.
18. what beauty have you found in stillness?
To be able to admire the present moment without changing anything and to slow down to take in everything around me for memories.
2025-10-14T15:46:15+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
I am going through this thing right now, where I don't want to talk. I want to be left alone. I cannot be friends with clingy people because they will think I have a problem with them when I really don't, and I am not even sure if I would be a good girlfriend either because how do I explain to him "hey babe I need a week where we don't talk, I love you I just need some quiet time" without him thinking I am cheating or trying to break up with him?
2025-10-14T11:10:17+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
In a friendship or in a relationship:
- I don’t like it when I’m looking for space and the person is not allowing me to take a step back. I don’t owe you fast replies, if I kindly tell you that I will need some space or that I am going through something and I just need to figure this out alone. Don’t push it just give me the space to do that. I cannot be around with clingy people I just need space at times and they don’t understand that! No I don’t have a problem with you but if you keep asking me that question we will have a problem.
2025-10-13T22:09:54+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
We are all so connected that nobody is connected at all. The fact that you can pick up the phone and get in touch with someone but you’re waiting for the other person to do the same thing but in the end no one reaches out to each other. When all we had was a home phone and we didn’t have portable internet in our phones, all was simple. It’s either you call when I’m home or we set a date to meet up. Now you ca FaceTime, text, call anytime and all of that is just too many options.
I’d rather meet with people, I hate FaceTime. I don’t mind phone calls but I would rather meet you in person. I can’t have a connection with someone I’ve never met, I can’t do long distance relationship behind the phone. We have to meet or the connection will not be there on my end.
2025-10-10T19:08:29+02:00
traditional
I am not trying to be a pick me but this is solely what I think and this is my opinion:
I think it's fine to cook for a man who is my husband, he chose me. He bought a ring when no one forced him to do it and he claimed me as his woman so why can't I cook for him? yes he can expect me to cook for him and I see no problem with that. I would want to cook for him, it would bring an immense pleasure to see my husband enjoying my cooking. Call me delusional but I wouldn't mind coming home tired and still have to cook for him because the food would be for the both of us anyway, now I would mind if after I cook he chooses to sit on the couch and not wash the dishes for me. For the cooking I honestly don't mind doing that for my husband and I am looking forward to that.
My dream is to wake up with nothing on but his shirt with my hair undone and cook breakfast for him as he watch me :)))) and then we can make a mess in the kitchen if you catch my drift lol
If I am in a serious relationship I will cook for him once or twice, not daily though because he would have to upgrade to the wife me package to get that treatment.
2025-10-10T15:10:58+02:00
Meet joe Black
Last night I watched that movie and by the end of it I was balling my eyes out. I just remembered my dad and how he was during his final days. I last saw my dad in november and he was gone the month of january. When I last saw him he was frail, he looked like he was ready to go...but I didn't think he would leave me in less than 3 months. I thought I had more time, I wanted to believe that he was going to be okay.
I was worried but I had convince myself that we had more time together, then life got in the way and I got busy until that tuesday morning I received that phone call telling me he was gone. I didn't have time to process anything, I was in complete shock.
see my dad and I we are very similar in the sense when something is very wrong we hide it and we try to show that we are strong so that no one would suspect anything. Then on a random day when it blows up in our face everyone is shocked because they didn't know we were going through so much! we hide our pain very well behind a reassuring smile but if you look closely those sad eyes give us away. I miss you sooo much Dad I wish we had more time, I wish I got one final conversation like Susan did with her dad in the movie..
2025-10-09T17:57:07+02:00
gym talk
- I used to love leg day and recently I found out why! I mean I don't hate it but I am not excited anymore because truth is if you love leg day you're either not lifting heavy or you a masochist and you love being in pain..I don't like pain and I am lifting heavier now. so now leg day is not fun and daisy! it's pure torture and I need 24 hours to recover fully!
- I love training my upper body! I am seeing some muscles up there! I never only train my lower body but now I have a really good system in place where my top half is balanced with the bottom half of my body
- I am obsessed ! no I can't skip a day because I need to train legs 3 days and I need to train upper body 3 days and the days that I picked allowed me to rest each portion of my body adequetly. So no I have to work out which is why I do it at 5 am because I hate to skip.
2025-10-09T15:43:02+02:00
facts about me
- I’m a very calm and mellow person, if you shout at me chances are I am not listening and that conversation is done. Trust me you won’t get the chance to shout at me again, I’ll just simply remove myself and stop talking to you.
- I don’t do revenge but if you hurt me in any way you are dead to me. You can walk past me and I would look straight ahead without even seeing you. It’s not intentional and most of the time I don’t know when I do it unless someone points that out. It’s as if your file is deleted from my brain and my software cannot recognize you. I may sit next to you, smile at you but it’s all mechanical and you’ll feel the disconnect. I am only doing it to be polite but we’re done.
- saying you love me doesn't mean anything to me just like anything physical doesn't mean anything to me. I love physical touch but it's not the way to my heart. I need something tangible to show me that you care about me or that you love me, if you do nothing for me I will never take you serious. No matter how many times you kiss me or touch me if you don't show up for me in anyway possible you are not someone I would want to date. If I still talk to you after you do nothing for me believe me when I tell you "I want nothing from you" most men think I say that to save face but I genuinely do not care! You did nothing for me what made you think I want you as my man? chances are I tested you multiple times without you knowing. I gave you chances to show up for me and you never did, I will call you when I have an emergency and if you don't show up then your file is being updated. Trust me there is a reason why I am single, I will never be with a man who doesn't show up for me because I might as well be single. what do I need you for if I do everything myself? for your body? okay that can be a reason but I don't expect anything else. I have a dismissive attachment and I have been hurt way too many times...I don't know how to fully attach properly or even let someone love me...I am always running away. I am working on that
- I like being alone way more than being surrounded by people except during the holidays... I get really depressed during christmas times. I don't celebrate christmas but because I am home and everyone is with their family or on vacation. I get really sad but after that I am fine being alone, if anything I prefer it.
2025-10-09T15:29:26+02:00
NO RESPONSE IS A RESPONSE
Recently I learned something: NOT EVERYONE DESERVE AN ANSWER.
Now I just smile and move on, if it's through text I leave it on read or just simply like the message. Some people want a reaction and I have nothing left in me to give.