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2025-10-08T21:33:22+02:00

denying oneself

Publié par Gaelle.R 8 Octobre 2025 à 09:33 PM

Denying who you are as a person will not make you a better person nor will you be someone else just because you believe you are someone else.

I used to struggle with accepting who I am as a person, I am still struggling with that! but I am way better at accepting my flaws now.At times I want to be this cool outgoing fun girl and I can be that on a rare occasion or if I am comfortable with my surrounding but normally I am a calm, introverted, mellow person and there's nothing wrong with that! for so long I have fought the allegation that I am an introvert! I always wanted to be seen as an ambivert but I have come to love who I am as a person and not just what some scientific test says I am. Who cares if I am quiet? who cares if I am loud? who cares if I am shy? and who cares if I am not shy? literally no one cares... So I can just be who I am and let myself be free of being put in a box. I don't care how people view me anymore as long as I am okay with the person in the mirror then that's all that matters.

I am really hard on myself, I don't take failure lightly. I see failure as incompetency well yes but not just in one particular area but in all aspect of my life when really I could fail at one thing but succeed at another but I am so competitive internally that I hate not succeeding all my goals. Thank God I am not outwardly competitive meaning I wouldn't fight someone or argue my way into winning because I would be annoying. I don't care who wins...I will cheer for you and celebrate your accomplishment but personally I love to succeed I mean who wouldn't?

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2025-10-08T21:21:49+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 8 Octobre 2025 à 09:21 PM

my favorite thing to do :

I am introverted so I enjoy my alone time so most of these will be things I do alone.

being snuggle up on the couch with either Archie or Pixie next to me (for some reason Archie is extremely jealous and possessive he doesn't like it when Pixie is around when he's spending time with me) and I am reading an amazing book to the point where I am being transported into another realm! and I have rain sounds playing on my Alexa.
a rainy day but I am home on the couch after I just finish cleaning so the air is nice and fresh... I am laying down with a nice chamomile tea or peppermint tea while watching a cute rom-com on my TV playing at low volume and I can hear the sound of the rain outside.
working out alone at the gym and I found a new playlist or a bunch of songs that I love and my workout is hitting! I mean I can feel every movement in the muscle group that I am working on ughhhh just perfect.
washing my hair in the dark, I do this most sundays with Sade music playing in the background oof her voice just does something to me...when I do this I feel like I am in another world. I usally let the water drench my whole body and just stay there for a while....

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2025-10-08T01:28:20+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 8 Octobre 2025 à 01:28 AM

Alright I am celebrating the fact that I just finished reading another book. I will only talk about it for the first 10 books that I read after that I won’t mention it. This is the second book I’ve read in less than 3 weeks and it was another 457 pages. I am reading a series of books so it’s just one after the other except I am not reading them in order but it doesn’t matter because each character is different, all the books are about different people so it’s fine. Except at the end all the characters come together and I get a glimpse of what their lives have been like throughout the series… I am so happy that I am finding my love for reading again!

in high school the library used to be my favorite place! I used to borrow 5 books a week and the limit was 3 books but because I read so fast the librarian didn’t care how many books I took! Sometimes I took a lot more if there was a long week end ahead and I could stay up all night reading. My love for books and reading stems from my childhood, I used to be a very quiet and shy kid. All I did was hide myself in my room and read all day. I was extremely introverted especially throughout my teenage years when I was going through puberty. We had this huge library room in the house that contained various books but I would always read the romantic novels. I would skip all the children books, scientific books and jump for the romance novels instead! But I would hide to read them because if my mom found out I was reading romance novels she would take them away. I would hide the book behind a children book and pretend I was reading that but instead I was reading un forbidden love stories! Some were extremely inappropriate and I don’t think I should have been reading those books as a child but I can’t go back! What’s done is done.

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2025-10-07T15:48:03+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 7 Octobre 2025 à 03:48 PM

"I didn’t understand why someone would bring a dog or cat into their home, treat it like their child, and love it for years when they knew that animal’s lifespan was so much shorter than their own. It was like they were asking for their heart to be broken. Now, I understand. It’s because the time they spent together was worth the heartbreak."

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2025-10-07T15:31:16+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 7 Octobre 2025 à 03:31 PM

I don't fall in love, the word love is too small to describe my feelings. It's as if my heart is begging to be loved and my mind fall into a perpetual motion of imaging the person's face, action, words over and over again. So no I don't fall in love, I fall into obsession. Yet I do nothing.

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2025-10-06T20:34:09+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 6 Octobre 2025 à 08:34 PM

-the people who need therapy aren't even in therapy but their victims are.

Don't be a master of destruction, check in with yourself. Go to therapy, get in touch with your feelings. Running away when you are mad is not healthy, running away when problems arise is also not a good solution. Learn proper ways to regulate your emotions and learn ways to communicate effectively with people. Start by going to therapy.

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2025-10-06T19:11:31+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 6 Octobre 2025 à 07:11 PM

I was experiencing another mini burnout last week, it was a long week. I was away from home for 2 days which meant I was partly away from my cats but I did drop by to feed them and to make sure they were okay.

My weekly work out was great but Saturday was badddddd.... I was distracted, sleepy and unmotivated but I showed up and did the best that I could and in the end I was proud of myself. Sure I slept till noon that day and fell asleep again at 9pm but the only thing that matters is that I exercised and stayed hydrated. I feel a little unmotivated lately which is why all my work outs are mostly early morning. I have way more energy when I wake up than in the afternoon and my day is better when I know I have my afternoon free to do whatever I want. I only work out in the afternoon 1 day a week and all the other days are 5am workouts. which means I'm up by 4:30am.

I am not depressed, I can't even cry... I am trying my best to check off everything in my to do list. I do have a daily to do list which mostly contains : 10k steps, read 10 pages, drink 64oz of water, work out.... and some other personal daily goals. Although it feels like I am being unproductive but this is the most productive I have been in years! I mean I am super active, I am reading and I am taking myself accountable for most of my actions...listen baby steps I used to be someone who would never admit my wrongs or my flaws but now I aknowlede them and I am willing to work on them

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2025-10-06T03:14:45+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 6 Octobre 2025 à 03:14 AM

A girl guide to self care: clean girl.

As a woman we should all have a day to reset and to take care of ourselves. For me that day is Sunday here’s what I do:

Wash my hair and do hair treatment, twist my hair for the week.
Do everything shower, shave, exfoliate and do my pedicure because I hate dirty nails.
Wash my makeup brushes for the week.
Do my laundry and put it away
Meal prep for the week ( I normally start cooking on Saturday and finish on Sunday) I don’t cook during the week. I simply don’t have time.
Slow music, tea time, unwind and read a book. I normally watch movies from the 80-70s on Sundays because it relaxes me before the madness of the week.
Limit phone use. No checking emails. Leave everything that stresses me out for Monday.
Sunday is my me day. Just a relaxing time.

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2025-10-04T03:41:58+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 4 Octobre 2025 à 03:41 AM

I have no urge to prove myself to you anymore. I like you but I don’t love you anymore. When you left, my heart took years to heal. Without you everything feels dull. Your voice, your face, your lips I miss all of it. The loneliness is killing me. The days feel longer. Nothing makes me happy anymore. I want you yet I’m scared that you’ll never be mine. Your words cut me like knives but I don’t know how to defend myself. I want to run away. I don’t want to be yours as much as I want you to be mine.

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2025-10-03T14:29:04+02:00

breaking inside.

Publié par Gaelle.R 3 Octobre 2025 à 02:29 PM

"Needed a hug but I cried myself to sleep instead.

wanted company but I ran away because being weak is never an option.

Wanted to talk to someone but I disappeared until I felt better, too scared to be seen as a burden."

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