Books.

I always had a thing for great stories and for colorful books with a hardcover. Books played a great part in my childhood and my teenage years, they helped me to escape my inner struggles and everything bad that was happening around me. I did not have much electronics and I was not always on my phone...I did not have a computer or anything and I miss those times. All I ever did outside of reading books was watching movies, I did miss having a phone when I was in high school I did not have one. I felt like I was missing a lot not being able to text my friends and not being able to use electronics as much as I wanted to but you know what? now I miss not having my free time and being free of all electronics. 

Like I cannot remember a time that I did not spend a day without using my phone or use the internet, don't get me wrong I am grateful for all of that. I just wish I could balance it all out like I want to have a free time where I don't use my phone or any devices and TV. I want to take a gateway weekend far away from the city  where I can be alone with some quiet time. I am not motivated to come up with anything close to being inspiring at this point I want to be able to write more poetry. At this point I am afraid to write because I don't want to come up with anything that I am ashamed of or deemed mediocre. I want to feel but all I can do right now is worry and being stressed over this virus, things that life is throwing at me. I have been having constant headaches and I miss little details because I am so focused on some problems...I just want my mind to be free.