catching up.

I am doing good. I am very grateful to be alive today because I have been sick and it was scary. I was tested positive for the coronavirus and at first I was paranoid to the point that came on here and tell you about my job and all about it; something that I don't normally do because I am private like that lol. I am trying to open to more people and help them to understand me but it is not easy, I have been criticized, examined and misjudge for stupid things. Even though a lot of people still don't understand me or my character I am willing to stay true to myself...someone better will always come along.

How did I feel?

when I was working with the infected patients at my job I felt a bit paranoid because I am still new in healthcare but I was excited to help and learn more. I am proud of that experience and I've learned how  to work with extremely contagious patients. I am not going to lie I was scared because I did not want to get sick. I did, and I was paranoid...I took a lot of home remedies. I remained in quarantine, I didn't go outside I felt lonely, sad and at times it was very hard. sadly when I am going through hard times I stay away from everyone (which is bad and you shouldn't do that) I am learning to look for help and to accept the help. Emotionally I am doing much better I don't really open up about it to anyone.

avoiding?

ever since the quarantine started I have been on ghost mode, it's not because I don't want friends. I do but I was dealing with a lot and I was fighting to stay strong and I am still fighting...last year I would've broke but this year with the help of Jehovah I find myself being stronger and better...I am happy that I went back to build my relationship with God...All I ever known before I went back was depression, panic attack,anxiety, the need to cut everyone off because I can't trust them, trust issues... I am glad that I am not dealing with all of that thanks to God.