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" They are asking where I've been or what am I doing? but I am always there perhaps my mind wonders; perhaps I wish I wasn't there, but I am here.
2024-01-08T16:26:27+01:00
Archives
2024-01-08T13:46:13+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
My blog.
This year, my blog will change because I figured why not show how much I have grown? You all have watched me grow from a teenager in high school into my adulthood. When I first started this blog, I was either 15 or 16 years old and my English was not so great but I wanted to write. I had this burning desire in me ever since I was a child to write my thoughts down and to always write things that I was feeling inside without disclosing the true nature of those feelings (my poetry) but somehow, I stopped sharing my best work here because I was ashamed of my thoughts! I am not a kid anymore! I am 27 years old and that has to count to for something.
I want to leave this blog for my kid...
In 2024 my blog will display all of my dark thoughts, some will be frightening, some will be jarring, and some will make you think whether or not I need a mental evaluation but it’s an art. I am okay. I want to share all of my thoughts here now because this blog is my legacy. Trigger warning, this blog will talk about (toxic relationships, mental and physical abuse, and a lot of other things that you may not expect) I am proud of the woman that I have become so why hide it? There are so many layers to me, and my writing will show that now. I am growing and maturing so everything will not be lighthearted fun anymore, it will get serious. I am here to warn you before you start reading and feel out of place here, this is the reason…
Let’s have a great year ;)
2024-01-08T04:00:14+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
“Your best writing are the ones you never share with the world, they are daring, jarring, scary and beautiful. That my dear is art “
2024-01-08T03:56:47+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
“ used to drown my pain in alcohol, pills or anything that would take the pain away only to realize I was the one inflicting the pain”
2024-01-08T03:54:28+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
He would take off my clothes but not take my love, he would call me at midnight when he’s hot and bothered but not call at 8pm when I’m crying on the couch feeling lonely. He would grab my ass when we hug but never hold me gently without making me feel like he wants something from me. He would invite me over but never take me out on a date for everyone to see. He would Dm me but never take my number because he never planed to be serious. He would look at me as if I was the one he loved to only block my number and spread rumors about me. He would say I’m the only one just to end the call to call her. He would call me sweet names only to scream at me afterwards. He would ask me what positions I like but never if I prayed today. He would say what he would do to me but never how he loved me . He would pretend to like me only to get something from me… so don’t ask why I have trust issues. Every men want something it don’t mean I want the same thing.
2024-01-08T02:55:41+01:00
2024-01-08T02:50:32+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
“ take me as I am, I was made for the love of my life if you can’t accept me then that just means you’re not the one. He will love my quirks, my hair, my smile, my love for animals, my weird way of explaining things and everything about me. I don’t have to change for you, I was created and God is never wrong about anything he’s ever made. He created a masterpiece.”
2024-01-08T02:46:51+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
“ I want a peaceful love where we pray together and read the Bible together, discuss our favorite verses. Make each other playlists, write letters to each other, kiss each other gently, cook for each other and share recipes, write notes to each other, where you hold my hand when I get anxious and where I hug you when you get stressed. Nothing forbidden but just sweet and lovely.”
2024-01-08T02:37:45+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
I crave you in the most innocent way, I don’t want to spoil this beautiful love story. I want to kiss you softly without any thoughts of going further.I want God to look down on us and bless this union. I want to be there on your happiest days as well as your saddest days, I want to comfort you when you are at your most vulnerable. I am not affectionate but for you I would part the Red Sea like God did. I would go back in time to meet you all over again, it’s you and it’s always been you. Even with tears in my eyes I would still pick you, even if you wouldn’t pick me , I know you’re the one I would choose. I would walk barefoot in the hottest mountains to find you if I knew you were there. I would wait a thousand years for you if it would mean that I get to have you.
When I see you, I see the future. I see our kid that we made together…. This might just be a dream.
2024-01-08T02:26:12+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
“ A toxic relationship can take a toll on your mental health, and you may feel like that’s the love you deserve but I am telling you right now that love is not harsh! You won’t have to fight to be loved it’s natural! Love will not make you cry ! Love is calm and sweet and you deserve it.”