Some people get triggered when you focus on yourself and try to better yourself whether it's mentally, financially, spiritually or physically. Why do I have to be called selfish for declining your invitation that you offered me at the last minute because I already had plans to go to the gym? why is going to the gym not deem as important? why do you feel as if I am mean because I choose to show up for myself? (that is just an example, all my friends know that I love working out and they respect my schedule, and they know better not to impose anything on me because I will simply not show up, but hypothetically let's say you are in that situation...)
You have to create your own boundaries and never feel guilty about enforcing them on others because let's take an example when your apple laptop is not working and you call apple support if you call during outside business hours then you have no choice but to wait until they're open to call; there's nothing you can do but wait. If you have your own boundaries you have to be serious about them, if people call you selfish for doing what's best for you then they are most likely trying to get something out of you that you are not ready to give. If that person truly loves you and respects you they will respect your boundaries because they want to be in your life. Never feel guilty for prioritizing your mental health and your overall wellbeing because if you're broken you will not be able to help anyone ever again. It is your job to take care of yourself, if your cup is empty you cannot pour into anyone else's cup. You have to put yourself first, it sounds selfish but it's not. You can help others, and you should help if you are able to but if you can't then there's nothing you can do but wait until you are able to help. Never take on more task than you can handle, never bend yourself over backwards to make sure that everyone else is good at the detriment of yourself. As women we tend to be nurturing, we tend to put other people's need before our own but always remember that after you help other people if you have nothing left for yourself then you've done a very poor job at taking care of yourself. It's okay to be selfless but always be mindful of your wellbeing in the process, God created you to be happy, and you have to honor that. Never pay attention to those people who are trying to make you feel bad for showing up for yourself. So what if I go to my $45 Pilates class and got my matcha latte after? so what if I invest into a nice running shoe that I have been eyeing for months? so what if I take solo trips and buy nice clothes? so what If I love to eat at expensive restaurants? all of those expenses that are coming out of my pocket and no one else's, why should they care? I will always do what makes me happy from now on because for so long I have been miserable and empty. When you keep putting others first watch how depress you will get and how empty you feel after pouring all that you have into someone else's cup
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