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" We are so similar yet different in so many ways; will this puzzle fit?"
2022-07-15T19:23:36+02:00
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2022-07-15T19:22:20+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
" with you I don't have to hide or pretend to be someone else. I can be the rawest version of myself and I am never afraid of being judged."
2022-07-14T16:12:06+02:00
hair
It's almost a year since I cut my hair!
I cut it all off on august 23, 2021 and it has been growing. I can now make a bun lol well I struggle a little bit but with the right hair gel I can lay it down. My hair is really thick and if I don't wet it to make a cute bun it just won't happen. I used to have type 4c hair but now I don't think I do anymore! It's more curly now and easier to manage. Who would've of thought cutting your hair would change the texture?!, actually I googled it and it says that it's not possible so I don't think my hair was ever 4c it was just dry and it was a bit damaged; but now I conditioned it weekly and I use protective style to seal in the moisture.
When I first went natural on my own in 2017 I fell in love with my beautiful afro hair and it looks like the most beautiful crown on my head. I have cut my hair twice so far and dyed it 3 times since! so yes my hair was a bit damaged but I am going to take good care of it now and I am never cutting it again to see how long it will get. I pledged to never texturize it again! I will keep it in it's beautiful curly state :)
2022-07-14T15:55:08+02:00
Update.
Hey you guys,
I made a recording last night but I was half asleep and I have a feeling that I did not make much sense; nonetheless as I mentioned last night my summer is not so bad. I feel more hopeful this year despite everything, I have been through so much to know that it does get better and that the best is yet to come.
Let's talk about my furr babies.
My cats are doing great and Archie is getting along with Pixie but they still fight here and there because Archie has been the only child for quite some time. I love both of my cats equally and they bring me so much joy; Pixie is very affectionate and Archie is very protective. But I do have to clean my house constantly with all the furr and I now have 2 litter box in the house...ughh it is such a mess but I am slowly getting the hang of it. I understand now when people says having cats is disgusting because you really have to clean your house every 2 days if you want a pleasant smell. Archie wasn't so bad when I only had him but having 2 cats is way more work. But hopefully by next months I get a full hang of it I just have to get 2 litters now to change the litter twice a week because I am clean freak and if my house is not clean I will just get depressed and cry!
2022-07-14T03:49:44+02:00
2022-07-11T23:41:03+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
“ sleep on me,
ignore me.
take me for granted,
but when tables are turned don’t ask why I show no mercy.”
2022-07-05T00:01:14+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
“ I love you every other day of the week but at least I love you.”
2022-07-04T17:51:38+02:00
things to do.
If you struggle with reverse SAD during the summer months these are some things that I do and I think it might help you too.
- listen to upbeat music and dance around like crazy. something about dancing in front of the mirror always makes me feel great.
- cook your favorite meals or get your favorite meals. Going out to different restaurants might be fun but bring someone you normally have a good time with.
- practice self-care. Get your hair, nails done, and facials. Personally, if I look great I automatically feel 10 times better and I want to go out.
- retail therapy? going shopping might help if you love shopping. Get new cute outfits and plan places you can go wearing them.
- get a pet. Having 2 cats now is a lot of work and they are a great distraction, you can any pet you want.
- take a walk. Now I never just take walks alone lol because I just hate walking for no reason unless someone else is there.
- talk to kind people. notice how I say "kind" yeah avoid talking to people who make you feel bad about yourself and stay away from anyone toxic, especially during the summer!
- get a therapist. It might help to talk about your feelings with a therapist because your friends might get tired of you talking about being sad all the time and I don't blame them that's what a therapist is for.
- get a new hobby. It could be painting, writing, singing, pottery, or just reading certain types of books... whatever makes you happy just do that.
- most importantly surround yourself with loving, caring, and understanding people because you need it.
Know that I love you and a tone of people love you too... you are gorgeous. we are in this together !!
2022-07-04T17:29:14+02:00
2022-07-04T04:41:35+02:00
unpopular opinion/ my truth.
what do I think of female friends?
Personally, I find friendship with girls draining and complicated. I had 3 girls' best friends in the past and the first one stopped talking to me because I didn't want to go report some random guy at school with her at the principal's office (I was in 8th grade I think) and I wasn't even there to witness what the boy did so I cannot speak on something I don't know so I told her no I am not going she can go by herself (LOL) that was messed up what I did! but I did love her like my sister to a point that I was very possessive of her and I am not scared to admit that I didn't want her to have other friends because I always felt like they all wanted to take her away from me. This is what I mean by complicated, when girls are friends there's always competition, entitlement, jealousy, and some gossip going on which are all the things I hate... I am a very peaceful person and I hate competition. I prefer to have guy friends now, I don't have many but I've had 2 boys' best friends in the past but that can get complicated too because one of us is bound to catch feelings... let's hope it's not me!
looking people in the eyes?
I always struggle with this, I can never fully look someone in their eyes when I am talking to them it doesn't matter if they're guys or girls and especially if they're strangers... I have anxiety and on top of that I was raised in a Caribbean household that always told me not to stare so now I am so self-conscious about looking people in the eye that I just won't do it.
Anxiety?
As I just said I have really bad anxiety and that started in my childhood people mistook it for me being shy... but I was diagnosed recently. I will be very transparent and if you also struggle with anxiety just know you are not alone... we are in this together. I have anxiety attacks in crowds... and in public getting up to walk in front of people is a big deal for me, smiling is so weird for me, I do a lot of fidgeting, and I can never raise my hands (I feel like people are staring), I stutter, my mind goes blank, I shake, my vision gets blurry, I replay the same event in my head hundreds of times, I always wonder if so and so hates me, why did they look at me that way? well, not that I care but I just wanna know if I should just avoid them... it is so annoying especially in public at home I am fine.
cats?
Y'all know I am obsessed with cats and it is no secret. I love cats so much because they are so interesting and I never know what they're thinking to me that is attractive and it makes me want to know more... dogs are friendly so I know when they want me to play with them or pet them but I love dogs too.
dating?
I would want to date someone but at the moment it's just pure silence...I am still waiting let's hope I don't turn into a corpse.