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2022-07-04T17:29:14+02:00
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2022-07-04T04:41:35+02:00
unpopular opinion/ my truth.
what do I think of female friends?
Personally, I find friendship with girls draining and complicated. I had 3 girls' best friends in the past and the first one stopped talking to me because I didn't want to go report some random guy at school with her at the principal's office (I was in 8th grade I think) and I wasn't even there to witness what the boy did so I cannot speak on something I don't know so I told her no I am not going she can go by herself (LOL) that was messed up what I did! but I did love her like my sister to a point that I was very possessive of her and I am not scared to admit that I didn't want her to have other friends because I always felt like they all wanted to take her away from me. This is what I mean by complicated, when girls are friends there's always competition, entitlement, jealousy, and some gossip going on which are all the things I hate... I am a very peaceful person and I hate competition. I prefer to have guy friends now, I don't have many but I've had 2 boys' best friends in the past but that can get complicated too because one of us is bound to catch feelings... let's hope it's not me!
looking people in the eyes?
I always struggle with this, I can never fully look someone in their eyes when I am talking to them it doesn't matter if they're guys or girls and especially if they're strangers... I have anxiety and on top of that I was raised in a Caribbean household that always told me not to stare so now I am so self-conscious about looking people in the eye that I just won't do it.
Anxiety?
As I just said I have really bad anxiety and that started in my childhood people mistook it for me being shy... but I was diagnosed recently. I will be very transparent and if you also struggle with anxiety just know you are not alone... we are in this together. I have anxiety attacks in crowds... and in public getting up to walk in front of people is a big deal for me, smiling is so weird for me, I do a lot of fidgeting, and I can never raise my hands (I feel like people are staring), I stutter, my mind goes blank, I shake, my vision gets blurry, I replay the same event in my head hundreds of times, I always wonder if so and so hates me, why did they look at me that way? well, not that I care but I just wanna know if I should just avoid them... it is so annoying especially in public at home I am fine.
cats?
Y'all know I am obsessed with cats and it is no secret. I love cats so much because they are so interesting and I never know what they're thinking to me that is attractive and it makes me want to know more... dogs are friendly so I know when they want me to play with them or pet them but I love dogs too.
dating?
I would want to date someone but at the moment it's just pure silence...I am still waiting let's hope I don't turn into a corpse.
2022-07-03T19:03:11+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
“ so lonely only here for my cats… can’t imagine them being homeless.”
2022-06-28T13:42:44+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
“ so emotional detached I barely know what I’m feeling.”
2022-06-28T13:41:50+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
“ where there’s rain, there’s always a sunshine.”
2022-06-28T03:58:59+02:00
2022-06-26T13:19:47+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
Taking a lil break :) be back soon!!
2022-06-17T23:28:10+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
whatever will be will be, que sera sera...
2022-06-16T22:32:18+02:00
Dorothy Dandrige.
Let's go back in time to take a look at one of the most beautiful and talented actresses of the 1950s
Dorothy was born in November 1922 a few years before Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn. She was a beautiful black actress who featured in carmen jones a 1954s romantic movie displaying black actors and actresses because segregation was still happening and black and white people could not just sit or hang out together. she did not get her big break like other white actresses like Marilyn Monroe, Grace Kelly, Diana Dors, or Elizabeth Taylor, but nevertheless, she was still known as "the most beautiful negro" which is an insult if you ask me but terms like that were popular in the 1950s.
She could sing, dance as well as act. she also knew how to do her own makeup and I always thought that Maya Rudolph kind of looks like her from a certain angle. She went through a lot in the film industry, she fell in love with a white movie director I believe but they had to end the union because interational couples were frowned upon. I fell in love with her after watching carmen jones, I think she really deserved an oscar or some type of award. It makes me angry that people didn't talk about her simply because she was black but she was even more talented than some white actresses. I am so glad that we don't live in a time like this anymore because most of my favorite actors and actresses are predominantly black and it's not prejudiced I just find my race to be funny and relatable.
I love old movies and music, some people may not find them remotely interesting but that is what I like... I just think that the old movies had a great storyline and the actors were more respectful and more proper. Nonetheless, Dorothy Dandrige is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in the 1950's.
2022-06-14T22:40:09+02:00