No bread will ever be baked from this dough

2026-09-07T21:29:34+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 7 Septembre 2026 à 09:29 PM

It is Monday and yes, I've read 3 books in total, but I wanted to read 3 books starting Saturday. I did finish a book on Friday, but I didn't want to count it towards my long weekend goal, but I think I've done more than enough. I always set goals for myself, at times they're high but who would I be if I didn't have high expectations for myself?

why dream small? why set reachable goals? the sky is the limit. Try as much as you can, I'd rather fail than to limit myself with goals I know I can easily reach. I always set high goals for myself, whether it's my reading goals. Spiritual goals or fitness goals.

I've spent 5 hours at a coffee shop reading; I am so glad there's a coffee place close to my house where I can hang out. At times I don't want to be in the house I want to be out but not with people! like by myself doing things that I love. Which are getting matcha, reading, writing, a picnic, a walk in the park...I am a very peaceful and self-sufficient person. My mom sent me a picture of my report when I was younger it says" Gaelle needs to participate in activities with other kids, needs to speak more, needs to play at recess, needs to read less at recess but interact more" lol who tells a parent that their kid needs to stop reading so much? yup that was me! I would ignore everyone and pull out my book and read right in the middle of recess. My teacher would always make sure I was okay or that I wasn't bullied because I was shy, but truth is I was a menace! I slapped a boy right in the middle of the classroom once because he tried to make me do something I didn't want to do! they had to keep us separated for the rest of the year, no one would actually mess with me lol I was kind but I was not nice lol. As a kid my mom always made sure I didn't let my anger get the best of me, yes, I was quiet, but I would fight if a kid provoked me. As I got older, I learned how to control my anger, if anything I don't get angry anymore but it's not a sign to wake the bear. My face along was not welcoming lol wow here I am reminiscing of my childhood, and I realized that I haven't changed much.

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2026-09-07T04:13:03+02:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 7 Septembre 2026 à 04:13 AM

My goal for this week end has been to read 3 books by Monday because it's a long week end, so far I completed one book and I am halfway through another. Maybe I'll be able to complete the last book by tomorrow night but if I don't that is still impressive, considering what's going on with my family at the moment.

My grandmother died earlier this morning, she was around 102 years maybe older. She still had her memories intact and she was really close to my mom. I loved my grandmother a lot, she was always so understanding and willing to listen to me when I was going through something as a child. I always felt protected when she was there, my mom is devastated. My grandma's favorite color was sky blue and I love that color too. She ask that her tombstone be sky blue and they will honor her wish. It's quite sad.

I hate death...

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2026-09-05T02:18:01+02:00

A man saved the day

Publié par Gaelle.R 5 Septembre 2026 à 02:18 AM

I never thought I would say this but a man made my day better today!

Knowing that there were 9 women and 3 men as jurors in the Lindsay Clancy trial, I was scared that she might get a not guilty verdict because of all the women involving in her case and because of how social media rallied behind Lindsay. I was afraid that she wouldn't be brought to justice! but a man saved the day and he stood alone! there was only one juror who kept voting guilty for Lindsay and if it wasn't for him she would have been able to walk away scot free today! but because of him she is not acquitted of the murders of her own kids. What has society come to? I can't say that I am shocked. We are living in the last days and a lot of things that people would have been condemned for years ago are becoming more acceptable in today's day and age.

In what world a woman killing 3 of her children not found guilty! only in this century. people hide behind made up mental health disorders to get away with the most heinous crimes. Murder should never be taken lightly! and what she did was a planned execution. I am glad that the one juror with the most common sense didn't let the others persuade him into voting in her favor. he stood his ground and voted for what's right. Thank you to whoever that man is. I don't care how many years or centuries it takes for this trial to go on, Lindsay should be found guilty as some point. This is not okay! those poor babies didn't deserve any of this.

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2026-09-05T02:00:35+02:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 5 Septembre 2026 à 02:00 AM

when I am choosing a book, I don't like a complete description of the book or a summary of it. I like to walk through it blindly, I like the surprise and the anticipation...I love not knowing anything about the plot. I don't read any books with sex scenes in it because I don't want to feed my mind with sexual idealizations. I like to preserve my mind from being perverted as much as I can. I love mystery, thriller but nothing demonic as soon as there's any mention of the occult I throw the book away.

I believe your mind is made of what you feed it, if I feed it with good things then I will have good thoughts. The more I read or watch violence, sex or anything that has to do with homosexuality the more my mind become accustomed to it. Sex is not a bad thing, under the covenant of marriage it's a gift God gave us to enjoy but now it's perverted, twisted and all wrong. I am in no place to judge anyone, I deal with my own temptations and weaknesses. I am far from perfect, we are all sinners and I am one of them but if I can try to please Jehovah in any way that I can I will try to do it.

the books I read has some detective tone, serial killer being brought to justice, psychological thrillers that have taught me a lot about how sick people think and to be aware of my surroundings. I used to live life through rose colored glasses but little by little my life became less rosy and more murky but not in a bad way. I am able to see the real struggles of other people, living and learning from my own mistakes. I will be 30 years old soon. I am not that scared little girl who started this blog anymore. I am a woman now, with more maturity than the 15 year old girl who made her first post here! you all have watched me grow. I said the most unhinged things, wrote the most gut wrenching post but here I am becoming a woman my 15 year old self would be proud of.

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2026-09-04T02:39:20+02:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 4 Septembre 2026 à 02:39 AM

"you will die in 24 hours"

That's the text I received this morning when I woke up, who could have possibly send me such non-sense? could it be Gary my stalker ex? will he be outside my apartment hiding in the bushes with a gun once it's 24 hours?

No it can't be him, last time I checked Gary was in Hawaii with his girlfriend who strangely looks a lot like me. I must be hard to forget if he is dating a me look-alike. Who could have possibly send me such a strange message?

I have to go on with my life, I can't let this affect me. I have to get ready and head to the hospital. As a surgeon, I barely have time to pack a lunch bag. I have a demanding schedule, last night was one of those odd nights where I finished work early and was able to get home at a decent time.

As I drive to work, I can't help but think someone is after me. I only have 3 exes and only one of them is crazy enough to stalk me. What if I go to the police and show them the text? perhaps they'll be able to track where it came from. No one is dumb enough to send a text like that on their personal phone, this has to be from a burner phone. As I merge into the right line, a car speed right past me almost slamming into my car. What was odd is that the driver kept looking at me as they passed me, who was that? why do I feel someone watching me?

what if I die in 24 hours would I want to spend it at work? it was right then and there I decided to call in sick to work just so I can figure out what's going on.

" It must be something I ate last night, will you for cover me?"

James and I go way back, I cover for him and he has yet cover for me. Today is his lucky day because he will have chance to return the favor.

" I don't believe you, there's no way you're sick. You never miss a day, but whatever it is take care of it and come back because we need you."

" thank you James."

I take the next exit and head back to my apartment.

I look around and nothing is out of place, my neighbor's cat is sitting on my porch again. The school bus is picking up all the kids on my street. I walk in my apartment and instantly I can tell something has changed. The light in bathroom is off, I never turn it off. Quietly I sneak in my office trying not to make any noise, my floor normally creaks when I walk. If someone is in here with me, they are not getting out and that's a promise.

I grabbed the gun in my safe and head for my bedroom as I hear things falling off my dresser...

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2026-09-03T17:43:22+02:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 3 Septembre 2026 à 05:43 PM

“What’s your idea of a perfect date?”
okay I'm a simple gal :) lol I don't like going to the movies as a first date (because we can't talk) but wine tasting event where we both dress up then we can get dinner later to prolonged the date, a hike, playing mini golf and him standing behind me to teach me lol, Go karting where I keep bumping into him because I am a bad karting driver, bookstore browsing, coffee shops, sunset picnic, museum or art gallery, Visit an aquarium or botanical garden (I have many ideas)
“What’s the quickest way for someone to make you smile?”
Do something unexpectedly kind: Offer the better seat, grab my favorite snack, or make a small, thoughtful gesture, a small compliment about my outfit or my personality, remembering small details I told them about weeks or months ago
“What’s something that would make you instantly interested in someone?”
their kindness, their direct interest in me (especially if I am also interested) no games, maturity, confidence, being humble, being funny. Overall kindness is huuuuuuuge for me

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2026-09-03T16:30:28+02:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 3 Septembre 2026 à 04:30 PM

“What’s something you could talk about for hours if someone let you?”
I could talk football, books, cats for hours...actually anything lol I have mild ADHD I jump from topic to topic without a break.
“What’s a random thing that instantly makes your day better?”
my cats snuggling up to me while I read on the couch. It's always one or the other because both of my cats are territorial boy cats they hate sharing me.
“If you could teleport anywhere right now, where are you going?”
to be wherever my mom is, I would give her a nice long hug and tell her how much I love her. I miss my mom soooo much, I am afraid I won't have much time with her.
“What’s a side of you people usually don’t notice at first?”
my outgoing and fun side because my face is normally blank. It takes me a while to let my personality show.
“What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?”
travel by myself, I doordash an overpriced coffee just now and I can't even handle caffeine! I am somewhat a spontaneous person.
“What’s a weirdly specific thing you find attractive in someone?”
their nerdy interest, the way they get excited when they're explaining something they love, the specific face they make when they're trying not to laugh, when they have a specific food or drink order that never changes (I have a few lol), When they’re passionate about something that most people would consider boring, if they wear glasses and read ughhhhh my type.
“If your life had a soundtrack, what song would be playing right now?”
dancing on my own by Robyn
“What’s one thing on your bucket list that you actually want to do soon?”
take a vacation in ___ I won't say because it will be a surprise.
“Would you rather have a perfect career or a perfect love life?”
I would say perfect love life because I can always just switch careers, there's many ways to make money but not a lot of ways to find the perfect someone.
“What’s a question you wish people asked you more often?”
what book I am reading and let me ramble about it for at least 15 minutes
“What’s your biggest ‘I can’t believe I actually did that’ moment?”
I told a guy I liked to stop talking to me... it was this year. I did like him and it did hurt to let him go because I wanted to date him, but I had to. He wasn't right for me, I guess that's part of why my dating life is on pause...there's another reason, but I will talk about that next year.
“If we had to go on an adventure tomorrow with no planning, where would you want to go?”
on a hike in California to see the Hollywood sign.

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2026-09-03T15:43:50+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 3 Septembre 2026 à 03:43 PM

I will write a lot more now because I finally got a laptop and it's a MacBook yayy!! finally I have a laptop, and I got it 2 days ago. I did a challenge back in 2016 I think where I would essays for fun. I think I will start doing that again.

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2026-09-03T04:55:00+02:00

shadow

Publié par Gaelle.R 3 Septembre 2026 à 04:55 AM

She always thought her shadow was a myth, but all along it was inside of her.

The constant voice in her mind telling her what she tries so hard to hide.

As she walks away from him, the voice inside her head says

“You wish he’d stop you and tell you how much he wants to be with you, don’t you?”

"Stop" she says

“I don’t want him anymore”

“Of course, you do you’ve been waiting for him to change for years”

A tear slipped down her cheek.

But she kept walking.

“You could stop walking right now and beg him to love you or you can sleep with him one last time and pretend it doesn’t mean anything”

“No”

“Why?”

“Because I have dignity”

“Please! You’re weak in the knees for him”

She doesn’t deny it, but she wanted to put an end to this.

“Anna wait”

She turned around and there he was chasing after her.

“There you go and now you will go back to his place and let him ravage your body again”

“No, I’m not, I’m going home”

she wanted to go home but the sudden pull she felt towards him stopped her dead in her track.

she turned around and there he was with his puppy dog eyes as if pleading for her to stay. But she knew better.

He never loved her and he never will, but why love someone you can’t have?

“Anna you can’t go, you forgot your laptop inside.”

she looks at him and wondered is that really why he chased her down the street? he could have easily brought the laptop at work for her.

“Theo, I have to go home.”

“No, you don’t, go back in there and ride him until sunrise”

she blanked as those words circulate through her mind.

“Come with me” he grabbed her arm and gently pull her towards him in the direction to his apartment.

As she walks inside of his apartment she can’t help but feel defeated. when will it ever end? would he ever let her go because she can never bring herself to let him go.

He closes the door behind her and pulls her towards him and kisses her. She had no choice but to give in. The kiss meant nothing to him while it meant everything to her.

The phone rang broke the kiss, as he reaches for his phone. She sees a woman name calling him.

He steps away to the kitchen to take the call.

“What did you think? you thought you were the only one?” the voice says

“I don’t care”

“yes, you care, you are burning with rage. You hate that another woman can easily take his attention away from you while you settle for scraps”

she grabbed her laptop and headed for the door.

“bye” she says as he’s walking towards her already typing up a text to the woman he can’t afford to ignore.

she walked away more broken than when she came in.

as she’s closing the door to leave, he says “bye Anna see you tomorrow”

The thing is he doesn’t know it yet, but this is the last time he will ever see her, because she’s leaving town tomorrow.

“now what did we learn?” the voice says

“ that love is pain”

“ no honey that wasn’t love, you need to stop waiting for a man who showed you he never wanted you.”

“ easy for you to say, you’ve never been in love”

“ what do you think? you don’t think I feel what you feel? you don’t think I know how much you want to burn his place down because he broke your heart. But I know you won’t do it”

“why?”

“ because you have good discernment but if you ‘d listen to me, I’ll say burn it all down”

she smiled and touched the lighter in her pocket….

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2026-09-02T01:30:28+02:00

The Lindsay Clancy Trial

Publié par Gaelle.R 2 Septembre 2026 à 01:30 AM

The jury has been deliberating for 3 days straight and they still cannot come up with an anonymous decision! I mean how hard is it to find a woman who killed her three children guilty and send her to jail? I am not surprised because the jury consist of 3 men and 9 women! as a woman I do not stand with Lindsay and I do believe that she should be in jail. It's not rocket science if you murder someone you should be in jail! it wasn't self defense and I don't believe she was crazy to the point where she doesn't know what she was doing. she planned the murders and she carried it out. Yes women can have postpartum depression and wanting to harm their babies, she is not the first woman to have postpartum and she will not be the last but not all women kill their kids just because they wanted to!

Most women in her shoes if not all women would have forfeit custody of their kids in efforts to keep their children alive. Not Lindsay she wanted to kill her children and sadly she succeeded, what about justice for the children? why is it the Lindsay Clancy show? the kids didn't have a chance to make their mark in this world. I truly hope she goes to jail because this is very monumental in women reproduction and mental health post pregnancy history, if she doesn't go to jail it will show that "yeah women will not be found guilty when their hormones get out of whack and decide to kill their kids or it will show no you will go to jail if you let your hormones dictate your thoughts and decide to kill your children" I am a woman and I am saying this! no one has the right to kill. Whether that person is crazy or not, sure some people are crazy enough that they aren't aware of their actions but not in this case. This woman googled how long it will take her husband to go to CVS and the restaurant... she mapped out the time frame so that she would have enough time to do what she wanted to do.

so yeah she is 100% guilty.

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