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2026-08-31T18:32:49+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

I stopped journaling for about a month now, but I started journaling again. The only reason why I stopped is only because I wasn't being honest with myself and I didn't write my true feelings down. Something would be on my mind the whole day but because I didn't want to entertain those thoughts because I believed pushing bad thoughts away meant forgetting them...so in the end I was left confused, lost and sad. I will let myself be honest even if my thoughts are shameful, embarrassing and repetitive. It's my journal I will talk about everything I want. I won't limit myself anymore. If I want to talk about men I will, it doesn't mean I am a whore lol even if it's different men so what? it's my life I can have thoughts about the men in my life or men in general. If I go on dates, I will write about it. My dating life is on pause at the moment; I haven't been out on a date in about 4 months? I realize why go on all these dates but they're never official?

I am tired of dating men...all the lies, deceit and disappointment. Buying a house in the countryside with my cats and a nice garden sounds more appealing. I don't want any men causing me problems, then when I am 35, I'll adopt my daughter. so yeah, I am contemplating a life alone. I need to get rich ... I am not materialistic, but life is expensive as it is. Let's not deny that we need money because the bills won't pay themselves.

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2026-08-31T03:32:01+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

The words I never dare to say to you, I store them in my memory for when I leave you. Because then my absence will tell you what my presence never could. 

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2026-08-24T14:38:29+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

My way of thinking:

  • it's just a bad day not a bad life. Yes, today I may be sad, hungry, lonely, crying my heart out but tomorrow I could be happy, full and feeling blessed. We all have emotions and we are allowed to feel but one thing I am never allowed to do is dwell on my feelings. I Just let it go through me and move one
  • saying no. If something doesn't feel right or doesn't work for me, I just say no and move one. As simple as that.
  • if someone believe something about me and even if I tell them otherwise but they still don't believe me, then I just let them judge me or believe what they want. I have no strength left in me to change anyone's beliefs about me. You want to judge me just go ahead I don't care. I know who I am and I will never fight with anyone to make them believe in me.
  • I know my limit. I know what I can and cannot handle and I never try to go past that limit. If someone want to judge me because they don't think I am doing enough it's on them. This is my life; I'll live it the way that I want. No one will make me do anything I am not ready for.
  • if I don't have anything nice to say, I stay quiet.

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2026-08-23T19:20:15+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

Have you heard?” No I haven’t! And I don’t care to know. Now if you want books recommendations, workout tips, gym recommendations then I can help you. I don’t want or care to know about who’s getting married, who bought a house, who got engaged good for them. They didn’t tell me and I wasn’t invited now why would I care? Just so they know all these people who got married and I was supposed to be their “friends” when it’s my turn to get married they won’t be invited either. I don’t have most people I know phone numbers. I lost all of my contacts last month, if you’re not family that I speak to or people I work with… or people in my circle I don’t have your number. I don’t watch anyone’s stories on social media or WhatsApp everyone is muted. I don’t want to know anything you haven’t told me. If you didn’t tell me then I didn’t see it. Unless we’re cool and you’re going on vacation then I will watch because I love watching vacation stories! Ask me why ? I don’t know it’s just a thing I do it’s like I’m living vicariously through them lol. 

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2026-08-22T19:17:53+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

I’m going through the luteal phase again, I am almost in the thick of it. I feel exhausted, sad, unmotivated and overall just not in the mood. I don’t like it at all, I can still workout for now well I can still lift heavy but I don’t know about next week. 

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2026-08-22T02:24:42+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

None of it was real , taking about it seems pointless and thinking about it feels tedious. 

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2026-08-19T16:52:03+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

weird things that I genuinely enjoy lol:

  • peanut butter with apple and honey lol (it's a weird snack but I love it)
  • eating mango with tajin
  • listening to ASMR before I fall asleep: it could be someone popping bubble wraps, typing or caressing a keyboard, whispers closely in a microphone. 
  • listening to French compte de Fée on an app called LibriVox at bedtime 
  • sniffing my cats belly (hear me out their fur smell soooo good especially their bellies I don't know why!)
  • watching "what's in my bag videos" actually let's do one for me in writing form lol I have" my planner, my journal, the book I'm reading "nice girls by Catherine dang", my reading Ipad because I have 2 ipads but one has all of my books in it which I always carry with me, my allergy nasal spray, my glasses, pens, a portable fan, gum, a travel deodorant spray, perfume/body spray for a quick refresh, pimple star patch if I get a break out while I'm out, lip glosses, my headphones (usually it's in my gym bag but today I needed to charge at work), a lint roller because of my cats, medi honey (because I got a burn on my arm ughhhh) that's it.
  • watching pimple popping videos or when people go in their ear with a camera to take the earwax out.
  • watching people cleaning dirty carpets with a hose and soap.
  • watching those little Chinese women going camping setting up their tents videos on tiktok
  • watching people organize their room, fridge or library.

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2026-08-18T15:24:30+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

I will be talking about my cats and if you don't like cats well, I don't know what to tell you! because I will be talking about them. My cats have different personalities and I find it fascinating! how is it that two animals from the same species, same breed, same family even have totally different way of living lol!

Archie is Pixie's uncle, but I raise them as brothers. Archie's sister had Pixie in April 2023, and I got him 3 months later. I got Archie in February 2021, but he was born in December 2020. I remember the day I got both of my cats as clear as yesterday!

so quick backstory:

when I got Archie, I was going through a very dark time, it was at the height of the pandemic and I was severely depressed, I had really bad acne and I gained way too much weight! I wanted a cat for what felt like forever, but I simply could not get one. Until one day my cousin's wife reached out to me and told me that a lady is giving away kittens! she sent me pictures and I was immediately sold! I contacted the lady and bought Archie for $50. It was 1.30 hour away from me and I was working during the week, so I went to pick up Archie on a Saturday after field service! but that Friday I went to the pet store and bought cat supplies. I spent close to $200 in cat supply! I bought a pineapple cat bed that Archie never uses except to bring him home in, I bought litter box, litter, a cat bowl, a cat mat to put the bowl on, a scratching post, a brush, toothpaste with a toothbrush, toys... a bunch of stuff. I remember the lady at the register told me, " wow this cat is going to have a good life" and he does lol! Archie was soooo spoil as my first cat. I brought him to the vet that Monday to get his vaccines and to check for fleas and worms. Archie was the cutest kitten! he was sassy, he looked like a girl, he had the greenest eyes I have ever seen, he was very organized, very chill...

I got Pixie July 2023, mostly for Archie. After I moved in my apartment, Archie was very depressed and he looked lonely so I figured why not get him a companion? it was the best decision I ever made for him even if at times I questioned it because he fights a lot with pixie but hey that's what brothers do, at the end of the day I know they love each other very much and they cannot stand being separated from one another. I know this because one day I had to drop off Pixie at the vet for a procedure and Pixie spent the whole entire day at the vet, Archie was soooo sad you could see it in his face, he didn't eat, he laid on me the whole day until Pixie came home then after that he ate lol. When I got Pixie home, he was so tiny and I was scared that Archie would hurt him because Archie is really big and muscular! but no Archie is like a teddy bear when it came to pixie. He hissed at Pixie, but he didn't do anything to him. Pixie cried the whole way home in the car, Archie loves car rides and he didn't make a sound, he slept but not pixie! As soon as pixie came home, he fell asleep on the table! like who does that? he didn't walk around to investigate nothing he just fell asleep like that's his house even Archie was confused! But anyway, he transitioned very well, the very next day I let him out and Archie didn't do anything to him. Of course, he was not happy, but he wasn't sad about it either, he found Pixie fascinating. Archie inserted his dominance and pixie never questioned him on it to this day lol

their personalities:

Archie: very anxious, entitled, possessive with his toys, his feeding bowl and with me lol if he is laying on me and Pixie comes, he will hiss at pixie and dramatically get up and run away. He has to eat first! when it's feeding time if I don't put his food in his bowl first, he won't eat for the day! I guess he sees himself as the king and he needs to eat first? he doesn't like sharing his bowl, he doesn't eat in pixie's bowl like ever! he likes to sleep on high surfaces, he hates being held, doesn't like belly scratch not even for 3 seconds, likes to sleep near my belly, doesn't like when I discipline him by slightly hitting him, he will hit me back! I discipline him by spraying water on him he hates that. He hates showers, hates food pâte it has to be shredded wet food otherwise he's not eating. He rolls his eyes at me every day when he's annoyed... likes being petted but, on his terms, he looks big, mean and scary and he is lol but with me he's very chill, he's very antisocial with both people and other cats! I have to clean Archie because he is not flexible when it comes to reach his butt ughhhhh he can be disgusting, but his face just looks so adorable.

Pixie: very chill, very considerate, very affectionate, loves being carried around the house, he looks smaller compared to Archie, has a childlike personality, he has the cutest green eyes in contrast to the black fur around his eyes! he never fights me, never scratched me, loves being petted, sleeps anywhere, eat anything, never roll his eyes at me and I don't think he knows how to do it, he never looks annoyed, he always looks enamored with me or with anything, he's the peace maker thank God because Archie is the fight Starter but don't get it twisted Pixie will defend himself, he doesn't care if I feed him first or last he just wants the food, he's easy going, very social with people and other cats. He plays all day, he has no problem playing by himself if Archie is being mean, he doesn't take things serious like Archie, he moves on really fast, he is not petty at all, not resentful like Archie. I love him sooo much it hurts! Pixie is my easiest cat... he is very clean; he's always grooming himself. He doesn't like to sleep on me; he always sleeps at my feet or next to my head.

I love both of my cats but they are night and day when you compare them

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2026-08-17T14:05:38+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

some people have been telling me "Oh I wish I could read and workout just like you" to be honest it's not easy at all. My reasoning for doing those things will shock you!

I don't read for pleasure, yeah, I do enjoy it but it's not the main reason as to why I read so many books. I read to escape my reality. I do enjoy my life, and I think I have it good, I have everything I could possibly need. But deep down I do feel like something is missing and I am not talking about a relationship with a man. Dating was never my priority, I always do casual...I just don't think it's for me, but I do want it...I guess I haven't found the right person. Wait what are we talking about? well I read because I don't want to think about the future. I have a problem with time, I feel like time is chasing me and I am already behind... ask me why I feel this way? I don't know, maybe I am just an anxious person who's obsessed with a timeline.

I don't only work out to look good, that may even come last! I work out for my mental health. When I don't do it, I feel like a fat slob who's good for nothing! I don't even know how I look! I have mild body dysmorphia...some days I feel fat and other days I feel good about myself which is why I think it's mild. I wasn't diagnosed or anything, I am just guessing. Perhaps I don't have it, and most women have those thoughts at some point in their lives who knows? either way I don't work out for fun. I do it to stay sane.

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2026-08-13T20:07:35+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R

end of summer reading list:

  1. keep it in the family by Marrs John
  2. my lovely wife by Downing samantha 
  3. Nice girls by Dang Catherine
  4. playing nice by Delaney JP
  5. The good lie By M torre
  6. Best offer wins by Kashino Marisa
  7. Guess Again by Donlea Charlie
  8. Last seen by Elison J.T
  9. Lock every door by Sager Riley
  10. The scret lives of Murderer's wives by Arnott Elizabeth

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