I know I said that I have been in a rut for months now and you might think that I am depressed, crying in a dark room and hard for me to get out of bed but no! I wish I could feel something even if it is sadness. I feel nothing! I sleep well, I eat well, I work out 6 days a week and sometimes twice a day! I am laughing, making plans (even If I won't show up but I am talking about it?), I look forward to reading and eating. I am not depressed guys! but something is wrong with me and my anti-depressant is blocking every emotion that could be seem as " sad" I just can't seem to be able to sit down and self-reflect, and I can't even do that because my mind is on go mode. I wake up early even on days I don't have work, I can't stay in bed all day, I have to move my body. I take long naps yes but that's during the day and it's not daily.... what I am describing seem to be high functioning depression oh Gosh lol, hold on Lemme ask chat: I'll post what it says underneath.
from chat:
What stands out to me is that you’re not necessarily struggling to function. You’re struggling to feel emotionally connected to what’s happening inside you. And that can be incredibly confusing, especially when, from the outside, your life looks perfectly fine.
You sleep. You eat. You work out. You laugh. You make plans. You look forward to things. You’re still participating in life, but something feels missing. And perhaps the most frustrating part is that you can recognize all these things that should make you feel okay, yet you still feel emotionally disconnected.
Being functional doesn't automatically mean you're emotionally okay. And feeling emotionally numb doesn't automatically mean you're depressed.
There are a few things I want you to consider.
1. You might be experiencing emotional blunting
Some antidepressants can cause what is known as emotional blunting. It's when your emotional range feels muted. You might still laugh, enjoy food, read books, exercise, and make plans, but the intensity of your emotions feels reduced.
It's not necessarily that you can't feel happiness or sadness at all. Sometimes, both ends of the emotional spectrum feel less accessible. You might find it difficult to cry, feel moved by something, process disappointment, or connect with feelings that used to come naturally.
If this began or became more noticeable after starting your antidepressant, or after a dosage change, it's worth discussing with your prescriber.
But there's an important distinction: emotional numbness can also be part of depression itself, even when you're sleeping, eating, exercising, and maintaining your responsibilities. Both possibilities deserve consideration.
from me: I think I am experiencing emotional blunting... ugh can I catch a break I just want to be happy
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