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She always thought her shadow was a myth, but all along it was inside of her.
The constant voice in her mind telling her what she tries so hard to hide.
As she walks away from him, the voice inside her head says
“You wish he’d stop you and tell you how much he wants to be with you, don’t you?”
"Stop" she says
“I don’t want him anymore”
“Of course, you do you’ve been waiting for him to change for years”
A tear slipped down her cheek.
But she kept walking.
“You could stop walking right now and beg him to love you or you can sleep with him one last time and pretend it doesn’t mean anything”
“No”
“Why?”
“Because I have dignity”
“Please! You’re weak in the knees for him”
She doesn’t deny it, but she wanted to put an end to this.
“Anna wait”
She turned around and there he was chasing after her.
“There you go and now you will go back to his place and let him ravage your body again”
“No, I’m not, I’m going home”
she wanted to go home but the sudden pull she felt towards him stopped her dead in her track.
she turned around and there he was with his puppy dog eyes as if pleading for her to stay. But she knew better.
He never loved her and he never will, but why love someone you can’t have?
“Anna you can’t go, you forgot your laptop inside.”
she looks at him and wondered is that really why he chased her down the street? he could have easily brought the laptop at work for her.
“Theo, I have to go home.”
“No, you don’t, go back in there and ride him until sunrise”
she blanked as those words circulate through her mind.
“Come with me” he grabbed her arm and gently pull her towards him in the direction to his apartment.
As she walks inside of his apartment she can’t help but feel defeated. when will it ever end? would he ever let her go because she can never bring herself to let him go.
He closes the door behind her and pulls her towards him and kisses her. She had no choice but to give in. The kiss meant nothing to him while it meant everything to her.
The phone rang broke the kiss, as he reaches for his phone. She sees a woman name calling him.
He steps away to the kitchen to take the call.
“What did you think? you thought you were the only one?” the voice says
“I don’t care”
“yes, you care, you are burning with rage. You hate that another woman can easily take his attention away from you while you settle for scraps”
she grabbed her laptop and headed for the door.
“bye” she says as he’s walking towards her already typing up a text to the woman he can’t afford to ignore.
she walked away more broken than when she came in.
as she’s closing the door to leave, he says “bye Anna see you tomorrow”
The thing is he doesn’t know it yet, but this is the last time he will ever see her, because she’s leaving town tomorrow.
“now what did we learn?” the voice says
“ that love is pain”
“ no honey that wasn’t love, you need to stop waiting for a man who showed you he never wanted you.”
“ easy for you to say, you’ve never been in love”
“ what do you think? you don’t think I feel what you feel? you don’t think I know how much you want to burn his place down because he broke your heart. But I know you won’t do it”
“why?”
“ because you have good discernment but if you ‘d listen to me, I’ll say burn it all down”
she smiled and touched the lighter in her pocket….