The teacher by Freida McFadden 

I have a lot to say about this book and let me tell you all about it:

The story is about two married high school teachers Eve and Nate, Eve is a math teacher, and Nate is an English teacher. Nate is very charming whereas Eve is very strict and rational which makes sense, because she loves math. What I don't like about the books Freida McFadden write is that all the men are described as handsome, with a killer body and they always work out a lot but the women are described as plain, soft bodies with no muscles, and those women are always not as attractive as their husbands why can't the women be just as beautiful and sexy? why is that all the men are eye candy but the wives are plain jane? but the mistress is sexy is that so we can justify the cheating because it doesn't! okay back to the story I'll stop ranting.

Nate as stated is very handsome and people can't believe he married Eve. Addie a student at the school whom all the teachers are trying to avoid and all the students are whispering about her because she got an old teacher fired. It was reported that the teacher touched her inappropriately even though she said that never happened but because she was caught sneaking outside the teacher's house at night and the police were called; the principle had no choice but to fire the teacher. Even though Addie told everyone nothing happened no one believed her because she was seen in his car, and she went to his house for dinner, but what they don't know is that Addie's mother was also there. Addie's father had just died; he was a drunk who fell down the stairs that's what everyone thought but Addie pushed him downstairs one day and her best friend Hudson was there. Because Addie killed her father (by accident) she ran out with Hudson to try to pretend that she was studying at his house instead. When Addie's mom came home and found her husband, she called 911 and the death was ruled as "accidental". Because of that secret between Addie and Her best friend Hudson, the friendship cooled down because Hudson couldn't cope with it, so basically they stopped talking. Addie was all alone and she was experiencing some bullying from another girl named kenzie (kenzie had gotten really close to Hudson and it seems like they were dating)

Addie took both Eve and Nate's class. It was a contrast in Eve class Eve wasn't as pleasant with Addie because she got Eve's close friend fired, so Eve was resentful towards Addie about that. But in Nate's class he was extremely nice to her, telling Addie she's a great writer, giving her compliment, he even offered to give her a ride once, but Addie declined. Nate invited Addie to join the after-school writing team which of course Nate was teaching. Then one day after school Nate straight up kissed her, but by that point Addie had already developed a crush on Nate which I don't blame the little girl. Nate was handsome and he was a man in power so of course teenage girls with raging hormones will find him attractive but it's his job to nip it in the bud. But Nate didn't do that he wrote a poem for Addie telling her they are soulmates, that he loves her. They even had sex, it would have been statutory rape, but Addie was 17 and at the age of consent in the state she was in but still it's not ok Nate was 38 years old!

Eve however was in a loveless marriage, and she started regretting marrying Nate because. He doesn't pay attention to her, they have sex once a month, he doesn't compliment her on anything or even try to talk to her. Eve was obsessed with designer shoes; she was also sleeping with the salesman at her favorite shoe store. One day Eve was home with her husband Nate and she saw Addie outside in the bushes spying on them. she got so furious she went to the principal to report what Addie did because she didn't want Addie to get her or her husband fired. Nate knew his wife was going to the principal's office, and he told Addie to "deny everything" which Addie did but I love that Eve didn't believe what Addie was saying and she believed that she saw her outside her house. 

After that whole incident, Even went to go speak to her husband at lunch to warn him about Addie, but he found him kissing her in his classroom!  she was shocked, she even took a picture to have some proof. After Nate came home, Eve confronted him. Asked him for a divorce, told him to cut it off with Addie and resign from his job at school, to also never teach kids again. I love that Eve saw that her husband was in the wrong and not Addie. She's a little girl and that bastard was taking advantage of her. Nate moved out and told Addie that Eve knows. Addie then went to Eve house to make her see that Nate wasn't taking advantage of her and that she wanted him just as much. Eve was trying to make her see that no she can't she's a child and Nate should have never done that. Addie got mad and hit Eve in the head with a frying pan which knocked Eve out and blood was oozing out of her head. Naturally Addie thought Eve was dead, so she called Nate on Eve's phone to tell him to come home. When Nate got home, he started to create this whole scheme to get rid of Eve and to pretend that she Even went out of town. Nate made Addie go grab some bedsheets to wrap Eve's body in it, while Addie was doing that Eve came back to life because she was just unconscious, but Nate strangled her until she wasn't breathing. When Addie came back, she saw the marks around Eve's neck, but she trusted Nate. 

Nate and Addie drove out somewhere far, to burry Eve's body. Right in the middle of doing that Nate leave Addie, Addie was alone out in the middle of nowhere, so she called her old best friend Hudson to come pick her up and he did. The next day Nate fill a missing person report and acting like the grieving and concerning husband. But the detective had a bad feeling and kept investigating. Kenzie came forward with Addie and said that Nate was sleeping with both of them, but he was doing that with Kenzie when she was 14! but Addie got mad and started realizing how much of a monster Nate really was when Kenzie told her she was 14 when that happened. but 14 and 17 is not that far apart. Turns out Eve wasn't dead when Addie buried her and she came out. Nate became paranoid when he was finding Ev'es shoes in places he didn't put them on, he then went to the grave to see if Eve was there, but the hole was empty. Eve then buried him alive

I was devastated when I thought Eve died! I am glad that he didn't. This book was a roller coaster...

 Nate was a perverted narcissistic pain who took advantage of these poor girls. He was a sick man 

about me:

Things I love: Reading, football, F1, music, walking, working out, napping, eating, relaxing, purses, high heels, shopping (online).

Artist that I love listening to: Lana del Rey, Sade, Billie Eillish, Michael Jackson, the week end, Lauryn hill, Tate Mcrae, Akon, Rihanna, Whitney Houston 

shows I love: Lioness, Gossip girl, Gilmore girls, big bang theory, Looney toons, SpongeBob 

Favorite movies: Columbiana, ice princess, the great Gatsby, pride and prejudice, the other end of the line, the parent trap, mean girls, clueless, all Audrey Hepburn Movies especially " roman holiday", Gentlemen prefer blondes (Marilyn Monroe looks sooo beautiful in that movie actually she was always beautiful), the intouchables, 

The surrogate mother.

I have never been frustrated, anxious and furious reading a book! 

Once again Freida McFadden took me on a roller coaster ride.

The story starts with Abby at work and they threw her a baby shower party except she's not pregnant! she adopting a baby but right in the middle of the party her husband Sam walks in and pulls her aside to tell her the mother that they are adopting the baby from backs out of the deal and the mother wants to keep the baby. The party was cut short and Abby went home, it was a hard day for both Abby and sam. They have been trying to have a baby for a few years now and each time the pregnancy didn't take. Turns out Abby eggs were defective and she can't have a baby. Sam is fine but he is equally as devastated that his wife can't have kids. Sam is described as the perfect husband, he only has eyes for Abby even though he is incredibly handsome. As a math professor he gets a lot of calls from girls who found his phone number trying to hit on him, but he is a nerd and he's unaware of his sex appeal. Abby is a successful marketing director and her assistant Monica proposed that she became her surrogate, meaning that she could carry the baby for Abby since she can't. Sam was reluctant with the idea at first claiming adoption would be a much better choice, but Abby wanted a newborn baby and the chance of adopting an infant was slim they would have to adopt a much older child. 

Finally Sam agrees for Monica to become the surrogate, they ran background check on her and everything checks out. Everyone described Monica as a good person, selfless and always trying to help those in need. Monica seemed like a wholesome girl, although she is very attractive buts he always dresses modestly and she always tries not to show too much skin with her choice of clothing. Sam and Abby also checked for health history whether there was any mental health or overall health issues but they found none. They even interviewed her roommate and she told them Monica is the best. After Monica went to a doctor to have herself inseminated with Sam's sperm in order for her to get pregnant then she would give up her rights to the baby and give the baby to Abby and Sam. Monica also signed a contract with them and she agreed to resigned at work when she started showing because she was Abby's assistant and it would be inappropriate for her to have Abby's baby at work.

As soon as Abby became pregnant she started to change, the first time Abby noticed a change was a night where her and sam was walking out of a restaurant after their marriage anniversary dinner, and Monica magically ran into them. Abby and sam gave her a ride home but instead of climbing into the backseat like a normal person who's getting a ride would do. She sat in the front and Abby had to sit in the back. Immediately Monica started talking about Sam's favorite movie then the rest was history Sam and Monica were quoting lines from the movies and bounding over math! Abby thought it was innocent. But then suddenly she's getting dates for meeting wrong at work and one night when she invited Monica over to her house for a dinner, she had to stay and work late because her calendar didn't remind her that she had important for tomorrow and she wasn't ready! was it a coincidence? I think not. Monica is Abby's assistant she has access to Abby's calendar she could edit and change dates as she pleases so that Abby can fall behind but no sweet Monica wouldn't do that, would she?. on the night she invited Monica for a dinner when she got home Monica was there with sam on the couch but hey get this now Monica is dressing sexy and she's wearing makeup and Abby couldn't help but notice how hot she is. Monica was calling sam "Sammy" and they exchanged numbers so that sam could come for her ultrasound appointments. Monica is calling Abby's baby "our baby" when speaking to sam. suddenly sam and Monica are texting all day and all night long, but Abby trust Sam she doesn't think he would ever cheat. Her and sam stopped having sex for an extended period of time and that's fine? that would ring bells in my head because if he's not getting it from me then where is he getting it from? But Abby just shrug everything off. She keeps messing up at work and she's up all night then Sam suggests she gets a sleeping prescription.

Suddenly Monica pregnancy is harder to hide at work but she now refuses to quit even though it was an agreement but it wasn't in the contract. Now she's thinking about going for a math major and going to Sam's school to take classes! like hello wake up Abby! Monica is trying to steal your man. I was so upset at Abby for giving sam the benefit of the doubt, he goes out to get coffee with the 23 year old woman who's carrying his baby and that's fine? that's seems like a date to me. Then sam always takes Monica to her doctor's appointments, one day Abby shows ups and she hears the nurses calling sam Monica's husband and he didn't correct them ? then Abby gets fired at work because her urine test came back positive for meth! she doesn't even take drugs where did that come from. Abby started suspecting that Monica was drugging her at work because Monica always brings her coffee for her. But s now you have a young woman with big boobs carrying your baby and you forget about me! this was all wrong. Then suddenly Abby's boss gets killed after her boss asked her to meet at the office because the boss began suspecting Monica was the one who put drugs in Abby's food or coffee after they found Adderall in Monica's desk. Abby became the prime suspect because she had motive to kill her boss after she was fired, sam is telling her to take a plea deal and go to jail for 15 years but Abby kept telling and the lawyer sam got for her that she didn't do it. So she went to investigate on her own she found out the roommate wasn't really Monica's roommate she was just a random girl who was paid to lie. The parents Monica introduced them to weren't really her parents. 

turns out Monica was sam's students many years ago and Monica's stepmom told Abby that Monica and sam were having am affair for three years! I was like bingo! but nope turns out the stepmom was wrong yes Monica was sam's student but he never slept or touch her inappropriately so he never cheated on Abby despite everything he was willing to lose his life when Monica pointed a gun at Abby to try to kill her but when she saw how much sam loves Abby, Monica decided to shoot herself in the in head instead. The baby was fine! sam and Abby got the baby but Monica didn't die she's in vegetative state, she can't walk or talk. 

So in the end Abby and Sam had their baby but gosh I was so mad at sam for not setting boundaries with Monica! 

One thing that I have been doing that some people might find unhinged but that works for me is going to the gym twice a day! ok hear me out: at 5 am when I work out I usually lift weights and I am on a time crunch I have to finish my workout by 6:40am the latest so I can go get ready for work. Because I am leaving right after my lifts I don't really have time to do cardio, so now I go in the afternoon to do cardio which is mostly me walking on incline on the treadmill. I normally read while I am on the treadmill because it can get pretty boring without a source of entertainment. I won't do this everyday but most days yes. 

The tenant by Freida McFadden.

I am trying to read most of her books currently and I have to admit I wish I sprinkled books by other authors in there because while I do enjoy them, I wish I could add other books to my list, I can but I set that rule or goal for myself so I will respect it.

The tenant was a whirlwind of emotional roller-coaster; I got upset then bored. I wish the villain wasn't who it was, but I understand why she made that person the villain because as a Freida fashion she always picks the least expected character to be the villain and I did not see that one coming at all. 

The story started out with Blake Porter a 32-year-old marketing professional who recently got promoted to the VP position after the old VP tried to commit suicide at work by jumping off the building! but the window was to small and his body couldn't fit through so he didn't plumet to his death. Blake was so proud and happy to become the VP, he lived with his Fiancé Krista Marshall who's a manager at a local dry cleaning.  Blake then got fired soon after he became a VP because his boss found out that he was leaking secret information to their opponent. Blake claimed he didn't do such thing, and he would never betray his own company, but his boss didn't want to hear it so he was immediately fired!

Back home money was tight, and Blake bought an expensive brownstone house in Manhattan it became hard for him to keep up with the mortgage so Krista his fiancé suggested they get a roommate. After looking for the right tenant, they came across Whitney Cross who seemed nice and friendly but after she moved in, a week later bad things started happening. Blake's cereal box was empty one morning when he wanted to eat breakfast, his shampoo and soap bottle was empty when he wanted to take a shower. He started having this rash on his entire chest and back, he didn't know the cause of it the only thing that would cause the rash is only if he used Imogene detergent and he hasn't! he used a fragence free detergent. What if Whitney was using those types of detergent in the machine and that caused his rash? he then went to Whitney's work at the restaurant she was a waitress at to talk to her about boundaries. Whitney Got mad and things started deteriorating from there.

Blake became paranoid because he thought Whitney was after him and I thought so too but Krista keeps insisting that Whitney is a nice girl and Blake was overreacting. Blake had a fish with Krista has their first pet and one morning the fish was found dead! Blake really believed Whitney killed the fish but again Krista keeps insisting that Blake was losing his mind. I was mad at Krista for not believing her fiancé like girl who's side are you on? he claim that she killed the fish but you're saying that Blake did it!! you've known him for 2 years. Then there was a lot of fruit flies in the house, Blake found a bag with rotten fruits with maggots stored in the cabinet. He was sooo mad that he took the bag and threw it on Whitney's bed with all the maggots. 

Then one day Krista came home, and Blake was waiting for her to take her out, but Krista claimed she called him to tell him she was going to be late, but she couldn't reach him. Krista called his phone to help him find it and the phone was in Whitney's room on her bed insinuating that Blake was cheating on Krista with Whitney, but Blake said no he wasn't.  But Krista wouldn't hear it she packed her bags and left. That's it Blake had it, he started investigating Whitney and he called her old high school from when they did a background check. When Blake called the school pretending he was a manger hiring Whitney for a job, but the secretary told him, " Whitney is dangerous, I would stay far away from her if I were you."

Blake went to Whitney's old town to her parents' house, but the picture he saw on Whitney's mom living room wasn't the Whitney at his house it was Krista his fiancé ! so Krista is Whitney!

Turns out yes Krista was the one tormenting Blake after she found out he cheated on her; Krista then killed the woman Blake cheated on her with and made his life a living hell. She even poisoned Blake and wrote a suicide note in Blake's jacket from earlier when he went to beg for her back. He only ate one cookie, but he tried to throw up but some of the poison got into his blood stream he tried driving back home only to find Krista already there almost killing Whitney oh by the way Whitney stole Krista's name her real name is Amanda. But Amanda didn't die from the knife Krista/Whitney shoved in her belly she got up and plunge a knife in Krista's chest. Krista then died... then everyone found out Blake wasn't crazy and Krista/ Whitney was a psychopath.... uhm okay?

the story end with Blake going back home and selling the brownstone house, I thought he was going to end up with Amanda but nope he did sleep with her after everything happened but he still wasn't over whitney/ Krista so he left. 

I am very hormonal and because I am a creature of habit my hormones are like clockwork I don't need to check my menstrual app to know what stage I am on, I just know. At the moment I have a seething anger brewing inside of me, and I feel bad for whoever is at the receiving end of it.  I literally prayed to Jehovah this morning to help me control my mood and to not upset anyone. One person is already upset, hopefully that's the last one for the day.

I will start writing book reviews or summaries now... I am reading so much, I might as well write about what I just read. I have a very good memory, I remember every single book I've read in my life even the ones from high school or from my childhood, some are bit blurry in my mind but once I start reading the book, I realize oh I read this before and I know how it ends. I don't like reading a book twice. But there's one book I will read again once I've read 90 books this year and it's my favorite book this year which is " silent patient" by Alex Michaelides. 

The perfect son by Freida McFadden.

I read this book in less than 24 hours because it was so captivating. It depicted the story of a family Ericka the mother Liam the son, Hannah the daughter and Jason the father who's Ericka's husband.

Liam is the perfect son, he gets good grades, he's charming, he's handsome and all the girls love him except there's one problem he is a little dangerous but how dangerous is he really?

Ericka has always been suspicious of her son because he would always make some unsettling comments like " when I have a wife, I will bury her alive in a hole and deprave her of food to see how long she will live" scary! I know. To make things worse in kindergarten he got kicked out because he locked a girl in a janitor's closet and duck tapped her mouth and little girl was so scared that she didn't speak for days! Liam also killed his pets' hamsters by not feeding them and burying them alive! Ericka put Liam in therapy and the therapist told Ericka Liam is a sociopath, he always lies and he's uncappable of feeling love or any real human emotions. Because of that diagnosis Ericka always made sure that her son never gets close to any girl because she's scared her son might harm them.

One day Hannah blurts out that Liam likes a girl at school named Olivia. So immediately the mom got suspicious and went to one of Liam's debate meet after school to see who the girl is. She saw a beautiful blonde girl on stage talking to Liam and hold and behold the girl's name is Olivia, jackpot Ericka thought so she contacted a private investigator to get in touch with Olivia and threatened or blackmail her into staying away from Liam. But what Ericka doesn't know is that she got the wrong Olivia! There's another Olivia in Liam's math class and that's the one he actually likes. That Oliva is a brunette, with freckles and overall a nice wholesome girl. Liam went out with Olivia with the track team after a game and went to her house at 2am to meet her outside of her window. They kissed but before he got home Ericka noticed her son is not home and it's 2 am what could Liam possibly be doing at that time? she then called Liam after she had a nervous breakdown and her Husband Jason had to reassure her that everything is fine. She asked Liam to come home. Then Liam came home, the next day Ericka drove Liam and Hannah to school, but when they got there the school was swarm with police cars and officers apparently Olivia went missing! Ericka then realized she got the wrong Olivia! she begins to think her son did something to Olivia. 

some students at school heard rumors about Liam being creepy so they started talking to the police, after investigating they found Olivia's blood in Ericka's car and piece of her hair in the trunk. This was the very car Liam took to go see Olivia now the mom really think Liam is guilty. She started asking Liam, " where is she" but Liam always say, " I don't know mom". after all those incriminating evidence they arrest Liam but in the book, there were some POV from Olivia. She is inside a hole, and her captor has no name, but he gives her little food and water here and there just to keep her barely alive. I remember thinking there's no way this is Liam that would be too easy! you can never guess who's guilty in a Freida McFadden book that easily, but who could it be? 

Turns out Hannah followed her dad into the woods and it was Jason the father who kidnapped Olivia! Liam was innocent the whole time, yeah, he's weird and he's done questionable things, but he did not kidnap a girl or tried to kill her. Liam was able to make bail and he's no longer in prison. Liam took his mother out into the woods where Hannah told him she saw her father going whrn they got there, Liam kileld his dad with aknife in order to save his mom and Olivia. So in the end he came out a hero! he kept dating Olivia. But one day his debate team went out To albany for a meet and the booke ended with ericka hearing from the radio that a girl went missing in Albany... she begins to think did my son do this?

so one question left in the reader's mind is Liam like his father? is he really the perfect son?

Men and Money

2 things I think should never mix together are friendships and money. Obviously if my friend is going through a hard time and I can help I will but to make the friendship last I won't expect that money back. It would be right for my friend to reimburse me but if I am not struggling they can keep it because I always believe money comes and go. whatever amount of money I gave my friend I can gain it again and I will never mention it.

But I have a problem with giving men money, I used to be very given until someone stomped on my kindness and broke my trust. There's this guy I used to have a huge crush on, it was to the point where I would do anything he would ask me because I believe I was in love. He wanted money? sure, food? yes...at that time I did not have a car. I used to take uber a lot and he knew that. I was working but he was still in school and not working yet. We were not dating but we were talking and I assumed he knew how I felt about him which makes what I am about to say even worse. One day he texted me to tell me that he is stranded somewhere, if I could send him an uber? of course love why not! so I sent an uber to pick him up and to take him where he wanted to go. I am not sure if he knew this at the time but I can see where the uber is going and what route it's going. I noticed it wasn't going to his house, hold and behold I paid for an uber to send him to another girl's house, what's worse he never paid me back!... ever since that day I made a vow to never and I mean never give money to any men. Only if it's necessary, but nothing sketchy that I don't understand and that man can't be someone I want to date. If he is my man maybe... but I won't let any men use me again. After that whole situation no men have ever taken any advantage of me when it comes to money. I always tell them I am broke. wether they believe it or not it's on them, by the fact feed me and take care of me lol because being a sugar mommy is the last thing I'll ever be. Call me a gold digger lol.

I will go in depth in regard to my weight loss journey:

I don't qualify for GLP1 or weight loss medication (not that I wanted to take it, but that option did cross my mind!) I won't qualify because my waist circumference is small and it wouldn't meet the requirements, I do work out and lift weights, so my muscles weigh more than the fat. Basically, I have to work hard to lose the excess fat, I want to look less puffy so I will have to change my whole diet around. I want abs so I have to stop eating refined carbs, sugary foods (crying), fried foods. I am not fat if anything I look small to the eye but the number on the scale scares me! how do I weigh so much but I don't look it! It's all the muscle weight mixed with fat.

When you start your fitness journey, at first, you will probably want to work out and build muscle but as you're building muscle your appetite will grow and you will gain some excess fat so that's where I am. I also have to take into account that during my monthly cycle my face look fuller and I look puffier (that's normal) I am currently going through the luteal phase right now and I feel fat!

my 5-month plan: 

1. start a calorie deficit meal plan (more veggies, baked potatoes, chicken breast, grilled chicken, egg whites, avocadoes, more fruits, juicing)

breakfast:

Greek yogurt + berries + a small amount of granola

2 eggs + egg whites + whole-grain toast + fruit

Oatmeal with berries and Greek yogurt

Protein smoothie with milk, protein powder, banana, and frozen berries

• Grilled chicken salad with lots of vegetables + light dressing

• Turkey or chicken wrap with lettuce, tomato, and a side of fruit

• Rice bowl: chicken, rice, broccoli, salsa, and a little avocado

• Tuna sandwich on whole-grain bread + vegetable soup

• Chicken breast + roasted potatoes + broccoli

• Salmon + rice + asparagus

• Lean beef taco bowl with lettuce, beans, salsa, and a modest portion of rice

• Turkey/chicken stir-fry with lots of vegetables and a measured serving of rice

• Greek yogurt

• Apple + 1 tbsp peanut butter

• Cottage cheese + fruit

• Air-popped popcorn

• Carrots/cucumber + hummus

• Hard-boiled eggs

•  

• 2. cardio 5 days a week 1 hour walking on the treadmill at level 2.5-3 on incline 9 (anything higher hurt my knees)

• 3. legs 3 days a week: summo squats, sitted squats Bulgarian split squats, back lunges, hip thrust, my favorite which is RDL, step ups, leg kick backs

4. 3-2 back days currently I have one and that's not enough.

5. upper body arms, biceps currently I have 1 day and I need 2-3 days. I want to see bicep gains it's already hard as a woman to have biceps, so I need to work harder.

6. I will start drinking oxyshred can drink to partially suppress my appetite because my appetite is ruining my plan lol. That drink has caffeine so I will only drink half the can each day. All that cardio will make me famish so I will something to suppress my appetite temporarily. 

7. I will cut dairy temporarily for 1 month to see if I look less puffy because I already cut out bread.  

8. to finish 8 hours of sleep each night (7 minimum)