No bread will ever be baked from this dough

2021-08-03T19:40:46+02:00

why am I a Billie Eillish fan?

Publié par Gaelle.R 3 Août 2021 à 07:40 PM

I am not fan of her as a person because I don't know her personally but I love her music in a way that is insane and almost illegal. At first I was skeptical about listening to her music because I thought she only makes sad music but one day while I was going through my playlist on spotify I realize that I was listening to one of her song all along without realizing it! while I was claiming that her music is depressing or that it's boring without even checking her album out . That song I had in my playlist was come out and play, I remember a time where I was sad and grieving that song was on repeat and I remember how much I loved it, I still love it by the way. So I clicked to go into her album because Spotify give you the option to go into an artist album while listening to their singles...

That day I was at work and it was last year right before the pandemic! I was in a night shift and I was just bored; glad I don't work nights anymore I hate it. Uhm so I was sitting and I was like let me see what she sounds like as if I didn't already know ! so I started listening to her album when we fall asleep where do we go? Gosh I was hooked ! I loved it so much I cried :) I don't know if it was tears of joy or just bottle up emotions but I was balling my eyes out. Thank God I was alone! Then later on I proceed to listen to dont smile at me and I cried even harder!

The thing is when I first listen to her album I save a few songs and after a couple of days I go back and save every song because I just love them all...some songs do need a little time to grow on me but she is such a vibe. I watch her interviews too and to be honest I think she is so ahead of her time because not many people are putting out albums anymore most people just put out singles to create a buzz then go ghost but she put out albums, do concerts, interviews and meet and greets... she seems like a cool human being.

Her new album happier than ever that came out last week is mind blowing... so much vocals, talent ugh I love it!

Yes I am a fan of her music and I am surprised that it took me this long to like her, she is so amazing :)

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2021-08-03T00:30:35+02:00

fun questions.

Publié par Gaelle.R 3 Août 2021 à 12:30 AM

Favorite Tv show?

Smallville but it was a long season, The Good Doctor, Doctor House, Gilmore Girls, I am a little ashamed to admit but Gossip girl not the new one but the old one, All American but they take too long to bring out a new season on Netflix I just finish the third season and now my heart can barely hold until next year, Virgin River, lock & key and among others..

favorite movie on Netflix right now?

Miss Sloane, the last letter from your lover, Les Miserables, the time traveler's wife, brain on fire, the guernsey literary & potato peel ie society, wild child, resort to love, before I fall (I read the book in high school), catch me if you can, charlie's angel, the old guard, the prince & me, collateral beauty (get your tissues ready you will cry), life as we know it, 2 hearts (you will cry a lot), Audrey because I am obsessed with Audrey Hepburn, I care a lot, Rebecca, the saint... there's more that I like but I think that's enough.

which Billie Eilish song do I relate to the most?

come out and play, everything I wanted, hostage, bored, therefore I am, i love you, when the Party's over, I didn't change my number(100%), and happier than ever. I like bellyache but I don't think I relate to it

But I have her new album that was released on Friday saved on Spotify actually I pre-saved it since May and I've been waiting, I love her new album my favorite songs so far are NDA, oxytocin, Goldwing, Halley's comet.

Least favorite food?

spaghetti, macaroni, or pasta in general.

Favorite food I like to make?

seafood broil, tacos (my way), Ribeye steak & shrimp with mash potato with a side of either green beans or broccoli, grilled salmon... and some Haitian food that I won't mention

best discovery?

SNL on youtube at the start of 2020 and let's just say I love it.

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2021-08-02T17:06:34+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 2 Août 2021 à 05:06 PM

" You can miss a person everyday and still be glad that they are no longer in your life." Oprah.

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2021-08-02T16:25:31+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 2 Août 2021 à 04:25 PM

if you're reading this I would like to describe you.

you like to make sure everyone else is okay even if you're not.
You like to make others laugh even when you are sad.
you miss someone right now but you are not sure if they miss you.
you're afraid of intimacy because to you it feels like you are under a microscope.
You hate social interaction because it makes you feel overwhelmed and you can't really control how people are going to view you.
you don't trust easily because all of those times you put your trust in people they proved you wrong.
you're sad but you try so hard to cover it up.
you're afraid of commitment because you like being free and alone even if you complain about being alone all the time but you wouldn't know how to be committed to someone maybe one day that can change.
there's a lot of things you want to do but fear is holding you back.

…

this may not be you but it's someone.

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2021-07-30T21:12:28+02:00

...

Publié par Gaelle.R 30 Juillet 2021 à 09:12 PM

why things get so complicated when you fall in love at first sight?

why is it hard for you to comprehend that I've loved you from the very moment that I laid eyes on you and you haven't even spoke to me yet.

If love isn't pain then why am I hurting so much ?

if love is joy then why do I feel sad all the time?

if love is loyalty then why do I feel like you are betraying me right this minute?

if love is communication then why haven't we spoke in months?

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2021-07-30T16:09:27+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 30 Juillet 2021 à 04:09 PM

* A disclaimer.

If I care about you and I am putting all the energy and work into whatever we have which is rare for me as I hate socializing and I don't do well with intimacy or people knowing anything about my life yet I found it in me to let you in don't mess it up because if you do now I have to cut you off and erase you from my mind forgetting your very own existence.

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2021-07-30T14:05:06+02:00

true short story

Publié par Gaelle.R 30 Juillet 2021 à 02:05 PM

I kid you not I was in the middle of my sleep possibly dreaming I don't know but I found myself saying to somebody " you're the sauce in my beans" hahahaha oh My God ! I cannot that's what happens when you fall asleep writing poetry.

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2021-07-30T13:34:36+02:00

Loneliness.

Publié par Gaelle.R 30 Juillet 2021 à 01:34 PM

Loneliness is not being alone but it's the feeling of not being loved by anyone.-Jay Shetty

This new generation that we called the generation Z has a lot of distraction including being addicted to our devices, I feel bad for this generation because a lot of us are lonely yet we are surrounded by thousands of followers and likes on social media. This generation Z doesn't have a lot of social interaction as the old generation did because before cell phones ever existed we had to go out and seek social interactions; nowadays we can stay behind our phones for hours but it doesn't necessarily mean that we are interacting. We spent hours creating videos to post on tiktok creating scenarios that some of us have never been in for people we have no intention of meeting yet we seek their validation to stay relevant, personally I do not post videos on tiktok but a lot of people in this generation do. Relationships doesn't have to be in person anymore we can literally date people from miles away while we facetime them everyday and fall asleep with them right next to us on video call as if touch is becoming less effective. Who are we becoming? I am afraid to see us in 10 years because then we will find ways to get married a la distance.

some of us seem to have a lot of friends because of what our Instagram reflect but in reality we get more comments on social media than we get people to call us back. That is one of the reason I left social media because I felt like I had all of these people liking my pictures on the internet yet they see me in public and they won't even say hi to me, I felt violated and so I started to become more private. Loneliness is being in a crowded room but still feel alone, being at a party but would rather leave, it's going to sleep every night and waking up every aching morning without a text from someone who deeply care.

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2021-07-30T04:14:00+02:00

essay 1. with time they will improve. *cough this was under 30 minutes, it's not great I know.

Publié par Gaelle.R 30 Juillet 2021 à 04:14 AM

Topic: Define what love means to you and in which ways love has impacted your life?

What does love mean to me? Although it appears to be four letters, it holds a lot of power and different meanings for each individual. Personally, I can testify that love has already knocked at my door countless times in various ways. Love has allowed me to make room in my life for complete strangers that eventually became family and for people I never thought I would want in my life but that is one of the powers of love, to bring people together. The love I have for my parents is unique and there is nothing that I could compare it to but the love that they have for me is quite similar. Love has indeed impacted my life in many ways.

From my own experience When I was younger I used to write my mom love letters and I have a strong feeling that she still has them stacked somewhere, in my 4-year-old mind that was the way I thought I could express my love to her in my own words. Perhaps one could say that the letters weren’t detailed but they were distinct and straightforward, I can see myself writing “JE T’AIME” which means I love you in french and a bunch of other sentences that I cannot remember at this time on a piece of paper that I got from school from which I was supposed to draw a picture on but I was never good at drawing but thankfully I knew how to write. I’ve always felt compelled to express how I feel especially if those four words were involved. At a young age, I knew that love letters were sacred from the moment I knew what loving someone meant but I had to find ways to tell them. I wanted to shout it out to all of my friends but from my not-so-yet-developed mind, I did not think that not everyone would feel the way I feel. When I found out what unrequited love meant I became afraid to love so freely and those four letters started to become very important to me, I could no longer bring myself to say them so freely. Was I a fool for wanting to give love so freely when everyone wanted to run away from my eagerness to shower them with it? Maybe they weren’t so sure I grasp the concept of what love really is? Somehow I am still second-guessing myself and wondering if I know exactly what it means.

How can anyone fully grasp the meaning of love? it is infinite and no one can give an exact time of when they started to feel love. Was it when they came out of the womb and they felt the touch of the midwife or was it when the mother filled with joy and contentment held out her hand to hold her newborn oh so gently? Those fingers gently brush against the newborn tender head as he cries for the first time, was that love when she kissed his cheeks so softly afraid of causing a tear? No one can really tell their first encounter with love because who can remember their time in the womb yet love has brought them there. Love has made me question everything and even my very own existence because each time I fell in love I gave a part of me that I will never get back. Love has changed me in ways that I never thought were possible. I became gentle when I wanted to scream, I became calm when I wanted to panic, I became slow to anger because of love otherwise the world would have felt my wrath and hatred would have made itself comfortable in my heart. Without love, the world would be a disaster. Imagine waking up each morning without that warm feeling and leaving the house wondering if you are coming back alive or at all for that matter. To live is an act of love to me, if we didn’t love ourselves we would have never cared to make sure we live a good life. Perhaps we would all be dead but because God has loved us first that is the reason why we came to be about.

To love and to be loved has a different meaning when you have already fallen in love but it wasn’t reciprocated yet we dare to love because it was inculcated in us when we were made. I will love despite the fear of not being loved in return because I feel powerful when those four words enter my heart.

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2021-07-28T19:04:01+02:00

from 2018 but nothing has changed...

Publié par Gaelle.R 28 Juillet 2021 à 07:04 PM

Par Gaelle.R le 14 November 2018 à 04:37

I look at the page but all see is my tears spoiling every word I wrote.

My heart beats slowly as if it wants to stop.

My breathing is getting weaker as the tears run down my face.

I’m looking for a shoulder to cry on.

Why do I feel this way?

Why isn’t anyone listening to me?

No one can see my world falling apart.

No one can see me getting quiet.

No one can see the tears that I’m fighting with when I blame it on the onions.

Somehow,

They believe that I’m okay.

They think I’m strong.

They don’t know how I’ve been doing lately.

They don’t know that each day that goes by I feel weaker.

Even when I smile.

It’s all a show.

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