/image%2F0653521%2F20241210%2Fob_84fa33_img-4152.JPG)
" I've created my very own universe so that I didn't have to feel the pain but the only problem is that it gets very lonely."
2022-03-13T03:08:34+01:00
Suivez-moi
Newsletter
Abonnez-vous pour être averti des nouveaux articles publiés.
Articles récents
2022-03-13T00:16:19+01:00
2022-03-12T17:31:53+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
“ whatever you are feeling, someone else is feeling the same way too. Whatever thought that have crossed your mind, someone else was and still thinking the same thing.”
2022-03-11T15:01:19+01:00
2022-03-10T18:22:06+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
“ the floor seemed wonderfully solid. It was comforting to know I had fallen and could fall no further.” Sylvia Plath
2022-03-10T00:36:06+01:00
girl get up.
* warning before reading, this content trigger sign of body dysmorphia and social anxiety. This is meant to be an inspiration for a new character in a story.
I look at myself in the mirror,
and I start to wish I looked different,
wishing certain things were smaller.
I look away, cry a little.
Can't change a thing.
I sat on the bed, ready to cancel on everyone.
I want to tell them I have an emergency,
but they haven't seen me in months I can't cancel.
How do I tell them I'm the emergency?
How do I tell them I want to be there but only if I don't have to bring my body?
I want to scream,
I want to cry,
I want to disappear.
I close my eyes and imagine that I am someone else,
then suddenly I feel better.
I dress and I leave.
I hesitate one more time at the door,
I'm trembling with fear but I put a placid smile on my face and walk inside.
Suddenly I feel the eyes of everyone staring at me,
and I wish I was invisible.
Someone is coming to greet me,
hugging me as I try to control myself from shaking.
I smile from ear to ear and indulge in meaningless small talk.
Someone is asking me how I'm doing?
I want to leave, but I say I'm fine.
Someone else whispers in my ear and say "You look great"
I almost want to deny it but I say thank you. I smile once again.
They have no idea...
I want to disappear, why am I here?
why is that girl staring at me so hard?
How can anyone stare at me for so long?
I feel naked.
she comes up to me and says " you look really pretty I love your dress"
I smile and thank her.
suddenly I feel better,
and I realize how much I rely on validation.
I want to cry,
but I smile.
that's all I can do because I'm scared out of my mind.
2022-03-09T13:53:58+01:00
Fictionnn
You ask when will I be yours, I smile hoping you wouldn’t know what was sitting on your plate as you take a bite I say “ when pigs fly” you laugh and threw the half eaten piece of pigs in the blanket across the room and say “how about now” a soft chuckle escape my lips because little did you know I was already yours a long time ago.
2022-03-09T13:46:50+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
As I try to walk away, you pull me in closer and said “ you’re hard to forget, I try to bury you under somebody else’s kiss and affection but I’m left with the realization that no one else can ever make me feel like you do.” Goosebumps fly to my back all the way to my toes, your words found a way to penetrate my heart and leaving me breathless.
2022-03-09T13:43:43+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
“ your opinion doesn’t matter, I make the decisions.”
2022-03-09T04:04:04+01:00
another happy day!
From the title, you can pretty much guess that I just finished reading another book today! I am getting good at this and I am very excited! I have not read 2 books in 2 days since 2015 but anyways even if it was in the middle of the night I would keep going. The story was so captivating that I couldn't put the book down, the first one I read yesterday was 330 pages by the same author of today's book but it wasn't as many pages as yesterday, it was 221 pages but yet the story was heavier, more complicated and harder to read.
Yesterday's book was about physical abuse against women, anger issues but today's book was about infertility in the marriage (both are hard topics) I can't help but feel for both of these women, I cried many times. I got mad halfway through today's book and I said I wasn't going to keep going but I am glad I didn't stop because the ending is magical. The author's name is Hoover Coleen and I love her style of writing, it's simple yet detailed... It's amazing I am reading her stories I can't help but realize how great of a writer she is. I want to read all of her books this year and I will!
Reading has improved my focus a little bit because I do have anxiety and I can't quite sit still or relax easily but both today and yesterday I've done nothing but stayed focused. I've been praying to Jah to improve my focus and I am so glad that I am beginning to sit still because nothing has been able to keep me still unless I am watching TV but that is not good for me, it drains my spirit and it's not productive at all. I do love movies and that is not going to stop but I will try not to spend the whole day in front of the TV. Let me tell you watching movies all day is not good for you, it causes you to procrastinate a lot and to become unproductive do yourself a favor turn off your laptop or tv and pick up a book or just simply take a walk outside. Trust me I know what I am talking about, I am an indoor person and over the years it has gotten worse and it's time that I start taking my own advice.
Perhaps I will read another book tomorrow I am not sure which one because I have quite a busy day tomorrow but not enough to stop me from reading! wow looking at me, last year I don't think I finish any book I started reading and I now have a lot of half-read books but no more I will finish them all.
Good Night!