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"Living in the past because the present is so boring and the future is so uncertain. How does this story end?"
2021-09-10T16:43:48+02:00
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2021-09-10T15:00:41+02:00
memories.
"I was probably 11 but all I can remember is how Sunday morning's cartoons were amazing and how those random Disney movies made me feel so happy. Watching the princess diaries, miss congeniality made me want to grow up, but little did I know ... it was a time of complete innocence, joy and sadness all at the same time."
2021-09-09T19:25:24+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
"when I say :"life is hard" I don't mean life is hard, I knew it was hard even before I really experience how hard life really is. What I mean by that is it's hard to continue living because I don't think I am strong enough to keep going, I don't know if next year I'll be here. I am afraid, please give me a hug... hold me because it can be the last time. But all I say is: "life is hard."
2021-09-09T19:04:49+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
" You are always there for me even through the tears, through the pain and when I want to give up. You've been there listening and making me feel strong when I felt weak, you've taught me how to love and trust again. You took the pain away and made it yours. You held me when I cry and you watched over me when I fell asleep; each time I woke up from a bad dream you were there listening to me and protecting me. When I thought I was alone you were there smiling down at me; you know me more than I know myself. You made me feel beautiful when no one else was paying attention, you made me feel wanted when I thought no one else would want me. In your presence I am never lacking...your words resonate with me and keep me alive. When I have no one, I feel better knowing that I have you. When everything gets hard you help me to keep going even if all I want to do is to close my eyes and to never open them again. You make me happy even when it hurts to breathe. No one knew how hard it was to show up every time but you knew and you gave me enough courage to stand tall when I wanted to slouch and disappear. You made me feel seen when I thought I was invisible."
thank you Jah.
2021-09-09T15:22:55+02:00
true love?
" He don't love me but someone else is loving me for just existing and I didn't even do anything to deserve that love."
That is a perfect way to describe real love, to me if I have to do something to make you love me or to look a certain way for you to fall in love with me I would rather you leave me alone. You are attracted to my appearance not necessarily who I am as a human being; I don't want to be loved because of my looks, that can change at any given moment. Don't love me for my hair because I can cut it, don't love me for my weight because I could lose it, don't love me for my status because I could lose everything; unconditional love has nothing to do with what you're doing to receive that love it's just is. You don't have to work for it the right one will love you no matter what...
2021-09-08T19:38:36+02:00
how books saved me.
This should be in my autobiography but no one would care about all the boring things I've done! It's not like I climbed a mountain for three days and came back or like I'm Beyoncé or something and by the way if she were to write a Biography I would buy it... well neither here nor there let me just tell you my story.
At That point in my life I wasn't old enough to make decisions for myself but I was old enough to chose how I entertained myself. I did not have a phone and that wasn't consensual I was literally forced to not have any form of communication; well I did have Facebook but I wasn't technically allowed to use it all the time plus I was tired of seeing creepy messages from old men harassing me and that was one of the main reasons to why I deleted my Facebook. I didn't have many friends and I wasn't interested enough in making some either, I felt alone and away from everything. I felt like an outsider to my own life it's like I was living but I wasn't doing anything exciting, I was just existing. I wanted to see the world but all I saw was a boring old town in a country I barely knew and I had to learn a whole new language that I used to hate back home. I wanted to disappear but I wasn't invisible enough people could still see me because I wasn't ordinary; I looked different and I had a very thick accent but with years of speaking that went away but at the time I felt so different and I just wanted to escape that feeling. That part of my life has always been a part that I don't visit or try to remember often but for the sake of this story I will try to go back there.
Watching TV was exciting and that's how I learned English in one summer, I am very grateful for closed caption. When the time came for me to go to school I felt like I wasn't ready but I knew that I had to go for the sake of getting an education I mean who wouldn't want that!. There I was in this big establishment with no one guiding me, I was supposed to find all of my classes and I was supposed to get there on time. The system was so different than what I was used to. One day as I got lost and I ended up in a library filled with exciting books that I have never seen before. Back home I used to read books from the small library we had at home but I've read all the books and some of them I've read twice; seeing all those books in the library made me so happy because I had the option to take at least three home! so I did and I can still remember the first book I've read in English because it was an embarrassing moment for me, as you know I was learning English and some words didn't quite make sense to me! uhm so I picked out a romantic book called "Anna and the French kiss." In my innocent mind I thought Anna was kissing a French guy! wow was I so innocent and cute but I guess I was a little weirded out by how they said "French kiss" like why didn't they say French guy right? so I ask my teacher that and so she felt so awkward trying to explain to me what a French kiss was so she asked one of the boys in my class to tell me what it was so he gladly explained it to me with a hint of amusement what a French kiss was ! I was shocked ! and mainly embarrassed but my teacher reassured me that it was okay because I didn't know and it's good to ask questions (oh boy did I have a lot of questions! It was like I was a kid who just learn how to talk but for my defense that is how I learn!)
After that little embarrassing incident I was basically reading one book a week and I felt so good like I was walking on clouds because when you read the whole day when you finally put that book down you will get dizzy! I was reading to escape my life, the environment... the house could've been in flames but I wouldn't know because I was buried behind that book. I travelled the world though lots of different stories from England, to Paris, France, Greece, in the wilderness and through space. I think Because I read so many stories that I fell in love even more with writing each time I read an exceptional story to the point that now I want to write my own stories and publish my own book. Some would say books made me numb to everything that was going on and maybe it's true because I can't remember everything that happened when I wasn't reading, all I remember is how I was lost reading the whole hunger game series in the summer of 2013 and reading books after books.
2021-09-08T19:23:24+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
" Believe me you don't hate me, you hate that I don't like you anymore, and to think you thought I was going to say I loved you."
2021-09-08T19:19:52+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
" Nobody had me and if they say they did well they all lied because no bread will ever be baked from this dough!"
2021-09-08T19:18:03+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
" If she changed her hair after the breakup she moved on and If she cut her hair good luck getting that ol' thing back."
2021-09-08T19:15:20+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
" I made a sweet playlist about you but then I got mad and added Queen Naija and Mulatto on the track."