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“If he doesn’t search for me like John looked for Sara in serendipity I don’t want him.”
Go watch the movie I will make a little review about it tomorrow :)
2021-08-10T03:12:41+02:00
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2021-08-09T20:17:54+02:00
facts.
those are actual facts and they're already here on this blog, you can discover as you read!
1. most used words or expressions?
I used many the number one is "as if" and that was after I saw clueless I've been hooked ever since, the second one is "quite frankly" that's from Audrey Hepburn in breakfast at Tiffany when I write that I always envisioned her saying it. In real life I always say "whatever" for any and everything! because why caring when you don't have to? lol
2. what do I write about but never do in front of people?
Crying! I always say that I was crying so hard or balling my eyes out but no one ever see me cry aside from my mom. I always cry in private lol when I'm in public forget it, you will not see one drop of tears, there won't be any expression on my face maybe just sadness but you won't see me cry. Not even at funerals, I just can't cry and I don't know why, but when I am by myself I cry a lot to the point where I am surprised there are still tears left! I can be sitting next to you crying and you won't know unless you really pay attention! don't ask me how I do it lol
3. fun fact?
I write more than I speak. That is both true and false, I write a lot aside from this blog; I have things that I write for my own personal used. I speak less in the presence of people I don't know or not comfortable with, I can seem really shy but only because I am not comfortable with everyone but let me be comfortable I talk so much you will find me annoying.
4. All my of my poetry come from the heart?
yes 100% true anything I write I must've felt it at some point in my life or come across that feeling through someone else's experience but the emotions that comes from someone else's perspective are less graphic because I didn't go through what they went through personally.
5. do I write stories?
officially no, I have started many but never finished them well technically yes. I am currently working on a novel and it's been 2 years since I started...It's taking me a lot of time to finish because I am using different narrative, emotions and I am still growing both as a writer and as an individual so I chose not to rush the process to get a better ending. I want to write short stories as well as children books.
6. I like sneakers more than heels?
No, not really I love them both equally because each serve their purpose in different setting. I love sneakers but I will not get married in them! I will at least get red bottoms!!
7. I no longer drink alcohol?
Very true, I no longer drink alcohol for personal reasons and it has been a year since I went to the liquor store, I will not be back anytime soon either. I think it's one of the best decisions I ever made throughout my entire life.
8. I don't have many friends?
I write about that every once in a while and it's true, I don't feel bad about it or anything because it has always been like this ever since I was born. It has always been easy for me to make friends but harder for me to keep them... I want to have forever friends but that has never happened.
2021-08-09T16:23:24+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
" It's not about finding the perfect mate or to be in a perfect relationship because there is absolutely no perfect relationship it's about finding someone that matches your energy, someone that will be with you through everything even in the dark times, it's someone who choses to love you even when you were at your worse but they encouraged you to be your best without judgments. That's what it's all about."
2021-08-09T14:19:08+02:00
One Day.
* Movie review, one day was played by Anne Hathaway and I can't remember the name of the actor. If you plan on watching the movie please go see it before you read this but if you don't care keep on reading :)
This movie is not my favorite, it reminds me so much of the titanic and Romeo & Juliet but the role were simply reversed. It was the story of a young man named Dexter and a girl he met named Emma at a university and they got along very well. At the start of their friendship they tried to date each other but they both decided that they are better as friends and I wasn't too sure if that's what Emma really wanted but they became best friends after that. Dexter left to go to London to become a TV Reporter but the role made him arrogant, shallow, self centered and a flirt. He was around women bouncing in cages or costume every evening for the show, his mom wasn't very pleased with his role and she was also battling with cancer on the verge of dying. Dexter had so much going on for him with work, his loud Tv girlfriend, his mom being really sick and his friendship with Emma that he felt overwhelmed and started drinking alcohol heavily. At one point he went to visit his mom while he was hung over and I thought it was very immature of him, to top it all off he couldn't even stay for dinner as he had to head over to work to be a pathetic tv reporter. He knew that he wasn't a good reporter as the papers wrote about him being the worse person on TV, he would always called Emma because she knew how to bring out the best of him and I think that he took that for granted.
Throughout the whole movie I could see just how much Emma loved him and how she tried to hide her feelings for him because he was going through so much, she knew that he was not ready for her because he would tell her how it's easy for him to have feelings for anyone but Emma wasn't just anybody she was his best friend. She tried so hard to make Dexter see that he could do so much better, she watched him making a fool out of himself on tv but she never judged him because she knew things weren't right for him. In the meantime Emma did not wait around for him she started dating someone and I didn't like the person she picked because they had absolutely no chemistry whatsoever, she also knew that she wasn't in love with him. She wanted to talk to Dexter about her love life but Dexter was so full of himself while flirting with every girl on sight and doing coke in the bathroom. That truly broke her heart to see her dear friend turning into a complete stranger, she tried telling him that he was going down the wrong path and how she couldn't stand to watch him messing up his life. They stopped being friends for a while but Dexter lost his job as a tv reporter and he had nothing going on for him. He begin dating a girl named Sylvie , to be honest they had nothing in common but he really thought he loved her or maybe he wanted to love her. Emma on the other hand after a couple of years had finally found the guts to break up with her boyfriend who quite frankly didn't bring any joy in her life. She went to a friend's wedding who the bride had slept with Dexter and while she was at the wedding she ran into him, she looked as beautiful as ever. She had lost her nerdy glasses, ditched the maty curly hair to a beautiful body hugging dress and straight voluminous hair. Dexter found himself looking at her and he still couldn't see just how much he loved her, they started reconnecting at the wedding, he also told her that he was getting married himself and that he was also becoming a father. Emma was happy for him but with tears in her eyes because it's never easy to see the person you love be with someone else, they had got caught up in the moment and shared a kiss... but nothing has changed he still got married to Sylvie and they had a daughter but after a while they got a divorce and they begin to just co-parenting.
Emma had moved to France and met a French guy, she was also writing novels and children books. Dexter went to see her in France and he finally had hope to start dating Emma but she was with someone else. Emma on the other hand had never gotten over Dexter and she couldn't risk being with a guy she barely like while the love of her life was walking around Paris all alone, she left her current guy and ran after Dexter, I was crying at that moment because it's so romantic! she made him promise not to make a fool out of herself and to treat her right, he promised her he would and I believed him because I could feel how much he loved her through the screen. They begin their lives together and it was the most beautiful thing to witness as two best friends became lovers, the chemistry was magical. She wanted to have children with him because she loved him unconditionally but sadly they were experiencing some complications as she couldn't get pregnant. she was frustrated and they started to fight but because they were best friends first those complications couldn't tear them apart. One day as she was rushing to get to him while riding her bicycle a truck that was driving at full speed hit her and she died instantly! Dexter had lost himself once again as he started drinking and started hitting on women who looks just like Emma while he didn't even care that they were on dates, he had gotten in a fight and he had almost lost his life. I could see why he choses to get into fights because sometimes the pain you feel on the inside is so unbearable that you would rather feel it on the outside. I did not expect that and I was crying so much just like I did in titanic or Romeo and Juliet. I thought their love was such a waste ! why wait this long to be with someone you love only to have them being taken away by death!
As I take a moment to analyze their story I realize it was never about a love story it's about taking people you love and life for granted. Time is fleeting and nothing last forever, you have to cherish your parents, your sibling, your lover because one day they can be taken away... we will never be ready to say goodbye to a loved one but if we know in our heart that we treated them well and that we showed them just how much we loved them then the process of letting them go will not be as painful because we were there for them. Dexter had waited a long time to finally in his late thirties to be with the love of his life that he had met in his late teenage years. He couldn't see love even though it was right in from of him because he wasn't fully matured, he had wasted his time on tv making a fool out of himself while his mom was dying and he wasn't even there. At the end of the movie he begin to see what was really important, started taking responsibilities for his action and taking care of his daughter. It was indeed a sad movie but it was captivating with so much life lesson included.
2021-08-09T02:39:16+02:00
the great Gatsby
*Movie review, if you haven't watched it please go see it before you read this, I don't want to be a spoiler but If You don't care then proceed on reading :)
This movie is by far my favorite movie, the images are so vivid and beautiful yet personal I can watch that movie every day for a month and still be able to find something I haven’t seen before. The characters are so polite and well-read except of course Daisy’s husband Boaz which I think his name was or at least that’s what Nick called him, I think it might've been Wilson but honestly, I don't care much about him. Daisy was the most beautiful Golden girl that Gatsby was so madly in love with, he would throw large parties open to the public hoping that one day she would show up. He had Nick invited her over for tea just so he could come with a lot of flowers and decorate the whole place for her, tea was just an excuse to see her, and I don’t think he cared for it. He was so clumsy like a schoolboy in her presence and I thought that was sweet as he is usually a complete gentleman who’s very confident and so sure about everything, but in her presence, he was just so embarrassed by his mere existence as if he wasn’t even fit to be in her presence. Quite frankly I can’t imagine anyone being so in love because the intensity of that love to me is what I read in books and personally write about hoping that one day I can live it.
The movie is so captivating and lovely, their love story stole the show as they were so consumed with each other that they could barely notice anything happening around them. Without Gatsby Daisy was just a lost little girl feeling like a beautiful fool in a loveless marriage with a man who often leaves her all alone to be with other women. She was sad and alone without him but together they could light up the whole world. Without Daisy Gatsby was just alone and hidden behind his wealth. He would throw so many parties yet no one seemed to know who he was but Nick always found him to be captivating and interesting.
The end of that love story was very tragic and Nick felt the loss, perhaps it's because he was an empath but the sudden end of that love story was too much for him to bear. He had stopped writing but after thinking about Gatsby's smile, Daisy's poise, and their love story that never had a great ending he begins to write again... and I am glad that the story was made public so I could stumble across it.
If I were to be completely honest I am mad at Daisy for letting her husband pin everything on Gatsby and for not being there at his funeral, truly the American dream is unattainable. Gatsby had all the wealth, throw large parties all for a girl and that girl couldn't wait for him while he was penniless. No one cared for Gatsby yet he was a memorable and great man; The only person that cared about him was Nick and that's sad. This movie really shows that money can never fill up the void you have in your heart... love is the answer to it all. Gatsby had hope as he was always reaching for that green light hoping that Daisy would come back to him.
2021-08-08T20:23:32+02:00
Turkey.
Casually rambling.
I bet you think that I am going to talk about eating a turkey! fun fact I don't like eating turkey like that maybe I haven't tasted a good one yet but so far all I ever had was crapy turkeys uhm ok back to what I am going to say.
I know it's crazy but I want to go to Turkey like in Istanbul because it is practically the land of cats! and most of you already know how I feel about cats! I am basically obsessed and I really don't know anything else that I am obsessed with besides cats and I mean all cats !! tigers, lions, wild cats, cheetahs ugh they are just so gracious and beautiful, I do know that they can eat me but gosh what a privilege to be eaten by a lion uhm that's not funny! that was my dark humor talking but anyway I do want to go to Turkey and when I can afford the flight I will go even if I go alone... you basically see cats everywhere on the sidewalk, at a hotel, sleeping on a patio, chilling on a car; people just pet them and give them treats!
Gosh if I go and I don't see any cats I will be pissed because that's the only reason why I want to go. I will keep that private lol because that sounds insane but to me, that's the most reasonable thing to do. since we are talking about that I do want to go to Africa as well just so I can see lions and cheetahs! and that's probably the only reason because I don't know anyone there either... I cannot wait to be in a van driving in the wilderness and looking at lions casually lounging around ugh... I would even work in the zoo just so I can keep watch on the wild cats but not all the zoos have wild cats though...
2021-08-08T03:25:46+02:00
Changes
I hate changes but sometimes they are for the best and very much needed; I guess I love knowing what to expect but that is also being in a comfort zone which at times we all need to get out of to grow. I am not one to welcome a change but with time I realize that it was for the best. There have been a lot of changes in my life starting from the moment I turn 15 years old nothing has been the same, I did grow every time I had to be in a different place and I think that's how I learn to be strong on my own.
Life is truly about growing, learning, and teaching because how can we expect the next generation to be great if we don't teach them? the other day I was shocked that the kids who were born in the 2000s are now 21! I always see them as kids and quite frankly some of them have done way more than I ever did in my whole life! and I came to the realization that even though we've been through a lot in life does not mean that we are fully matured! whereas someone who hasn't been through half of the things someone else has been through could be wiser... it's really about learning more without having to make a lot of mistakes.
2021-08-07T16:33:38+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
"Imagine judging and criticizing someone but the whole time they were dealing with mental heath issues. Be kind always."
2021-08-06T19:37:13+02:00
exposed.
Always felt like no one really cared,
as if my mere existence is not even cared for.
Talking, but no one is listening,
as if what I have to say is not important.
The way that I mess up everything makes it hard for everyone to believe in me.
Guilt is residing in my heart,
I just want to be loved.
2021-08-05T16:27:42+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
"while you're stressing about him and about how everything is falling apart,
he is texting you goodnight while he is telling another girl he can't sleep."