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" They told me to be a certain way but I chose who I wanted to be and did what I wanted to do simply because I can never be tamed."
2022-11-15T15:45:33+01:00
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2022-11-15T15:07:50+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
I have talked about this topic before and this probably won't be the last time that I will talk about it. so, Here we go again with the topic of hair. In 2016 I made the conscious decision to go completely natural, I remember I used to always use a texturizer on my hair to make it straight ever since I was in the 6th grade. So basically I haven't seen my natural hair since I was 12 or 11 but in 2016 at the age of 19 I decided to went completely natural and my mom was pissed. I had my mini afro because my hair broke off from all the damages of the perm so my hair was shorter than usual. My mom told me that I was making a big mistake and that it looked ugly; I remember crying after she told me that because that was my hair but she wanted me to texturized it and make it straight. I listen to her and put a texturizer in my hair once again, but right after I did it I felt ashamed ! and I started crying. My hair was pretty, long and straight but that's not what I wanted, I wanted to love my natural self without rectifying anything. I didn't like my hair and one would argue that because I hated my hair, I put the most ridiculous vibrant hair color you could find to mask all of that hatred which is why I dyed my hair red that year.
After that year I decided to went completely natural again the following year in 2017 and I didn't listen to anyone telling me how short my hair was because I did cut it myself for the first time. I did not understand why society made me feel like not having long, straight hair was a problem at the time. For starters I did fall in love with my cute afro in 2017 after living with 2 beautiful women who really took care of their natural hair and so I did follow their footsteps. At the time a lot of people was doing the big chop on YouTube and falling in love with their natural hair, so I started following women who had the same hair texture as me and I felt right at home. My hair grew into a very healthy and big beautiful afro, it was my pride and joy but I started feeling like I needed a change so I started wearing wigs in 2018. I would switch up my style when I wanted straight hair because I hated putting heat in my own hair. Then I fell in love with wigs because it was more convenient for me when I was tired of doing my hair I could just braid it and put on a beautiful wig. Then I saw women getting criticized for wearing wigs on social media and mostly by the black men! They were saying girls who were wigs are insecure, they are bald, they have no edges... blah blah... and I was none of those things! I remember one time I took off my wig and did my hair in a big beautiful afro and some people were coming up to me and telling me " wow you have hair!? I thought you were bald!" I was appalled I hated the fact that I couldn't just put on a wig whenever I felt like it without getting backlashed or criticized !
Here we are in 2022 and a lot has changed; I got tired of my big beautiful afro in 2020 after the pandemic and put a texturizer in my hair which I grew to regret when my hair started falling out. I had no choice than to cut off all my hair in 2021. I had a buzzcut and at first I felt POWERFUL and I felt free because my hair wasn't falling out anymore. I still felt beautiful even though I kind of felt like GI Jane but I wouldn't dare leave my house with my buzzcut because I was afraid of what people would say but after a while I just simply did not care. My hair started growing and now I can put it in a bun. I still wear wigs whenever I want to and I don't give a bread of what people says, I love my beautiful hair and I love wearing wigs when I want to. If you can't deal with it then leave me alone because there's more to life than hair.
2022-11-14T20:41:38+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
" you're not asking for too much, you're just asking the wrong person. Put up the price and double it so they can leave faster than they arrived"
2022-11-14T18:52:23+01:00
2022-11-14T16:09:12+01:00
let me explain.
I know I keep saying I want to find a friend that I can trust but I haven't really tried to maintain any possible connection with anyone, but I don't have an excuse I just simply don't feel ready to open up to anyone at the moment. God Knows how much I am in need of a best friend but at the same time when I look at friendships between women nowadays I just can't help but ask myself are these friendships genuine? there's so much drama, and I hate drama. So much competition between women that I don't even bother maintaining any friendship anymore. I have never been jealous of anyone because of what they had, I am always rooting for my friends, I always want better for them, always want them to succeed and go up the ladder because I know I am going up anyways might as well make sure everyone on my team go up with me. But not everyone see it that way, they would rather compete than to help their friends. I have always hated competition and that is why I don't play sports except video games because I am not doing anything physical. For some reason some women see it as competition when they see another woman leveling up, to me that is beautiful especially if it's a black woman then that is just black girl magic right there.
There are great friends out there and I had the chance to meet a few amazing friends throughout my lifetime on this earth, and I love them dearly but for some reason or another we did grow apart but I will always love them. Do I want to find a great friend? YESSSSS but am I looking? Nope lol I think it will happen when I least expect it just like my love life, I mean it is none existent right now but anything can happen right? :)
2022-11-14T03:33:19+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
The rules that I wrote about yesterday is not about playing games, this is about protecting your heart and to avoid hurtful experiences. Do we know someone is going to hurt you just by them trying to make some types of effort to get to know you? No, sometimes the person who looks like the angel is actually the demon who will break your heart and shatter you the most.
but honestly setting good and firm boundaries is a great thing, it shows that you love yourself and you value your peace. I admit not being able to chase a man as a woman is probably a good thing but I am not about to act like I am not interested in you if I am. I am not about to act like I don’t want to spend time with you if I do, I hate playing games. Why do we have to act like we are not into each other if we are, if I want to reply fast I will and if I’m busy then I won’t text back quick because my phone is not in my hand or I simply don’t want to text at the moment.
2022-11-14T02:10:14+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
“ if you knew me well last month, I am no longer the same. My story changes after every conversation.”
2022-11-13T22:50:50+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
“ always stay gracious and leave your eyes on your own paper.” Bey
2022-11-13T22:47:03+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
“ she is not me and that is my power.” Unknown
2022-11-13T22:19:58+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
" I am a pearl but too bad they never took time to open the oyster."