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" For some " I love you" is the beginning of a beautiful story but for others, it may just be the reminder that the end is near, that eventually, they will leave after saying they will always be there."
2022-08-14T22:27:31+02:00
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2022-08-14T08:00:33+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
“ a part of me has gone away,
wearing black to mourn the lost of myself.”
2022-08-12T21:32:23+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
hey you guys,
How is it going? for me I am not quite sure, I am either on the verge of a mental breakdown or a few inches away from total bliss. I'm hoping that whatever comes next makes me happier than I've ever been...but I know it may just be another disappointment. I am so ready for another heartache and misfortune that I will not be surprised if it does happen because I've already braise myself for it.
I am currently reading a sad book about betrayal and it's probably not good for my mental health if I keep reading the depressing part of the story but I need to get through those hurtful parts to get to the better part of the story... this is what life is all about. We get sad and then we try to wait it out until we get happy again.
One thing that I am proud of this year is the fact that I have read more than 10 books in 8 months! I am so happy that I am becoming my old self again because I was such a bookworm in high school, all I did was read book after book until I went to college and got busy with the hardest parts of life. I was such a recluse to society in my teen years and even now to! I barely go out to meet anyone all I do is work and spiritual things. I want to find some excitements in life, I really do but there's only a handful of people that I relate to and who seems to understand me but I get on their nerve most of the time. I expect everyone in my life to walk away, I really do and if they do I will cry for a day but I'll be okay because all I ever had is myself.
I am going through something that I haven't told anyone about and I don't plan on saying a word but as a result I have been distracted lately...I feel so disconnected and right now I am a little bit sad. I don't feel like trying to fight for anything anymore I would much rather roll over and play dead.
2022-08-10T22:06:27+02:00
verity by colleen Hoover *book summary/review.
I just finish reading this book 2 minutes ago and I haven't recovered!
This book is about a married couple named Verity and Jeremy. They fell in love and got married, they had a great married life in the beginning and then a lot of things went wrong. Verity became pregnant with twins and gave birth after they got married. First let's talk a little bit about each characters;
Verity: is a very successful writer she writes suspenseful novel with the perspective of the villian, she also wrote an autobiography about her life and how she met her husband. this is how she started the biography :"The thing I abhor most about autobiographies are the counterfeit thoughts draped over every sentence. A writer should never have the audacity to write about themselves unless they’re willing to separate every layer of protection between the author’s soul and their book. The words should come directly from the center of the gut, tearing through flesh and bone as they break free. Ugly and honest and bloody and a little bit terrifying, but completely exposed. An autobiography encouraging the reader to like the author is not a true autobiography. No one is likable from the inside out. One should only walk away from an autobiography with, at best, an uncomfortable distaste for its author"
personally I do not agree with this theory I believe an author can write however ways they want to write their own autobiography but this is what she believed. so she wrote about the night she met her husband, how she was jealous of her own kids because she was afraid that her husband loved them more than her. She even wrote about ways she tried to abort them and how she managed to killed one of the girls after the other one died accidently because of a peanut allergy. she sounded like a very disturbed and psychotic woman in that autobiography... she even wrote about how she pretended to be in pain after she killed her own daughter in front of her son. she had a car accident soon after her daughter died, she seemingly hit a tree and became brain dead after that.
ok now that we talked about this disturbing woman let's talk about the husband named Jeremy.
Jeremy: A realtor who has his own firm and never read any of his wife's manuscript after he read the first one claiming "he didn't like being in her head like that" which I understand because the way she writes can mess you up in the head. he was the one taking care of his incontinent wife and watching after their son. He seemed to be patient, passionate, loving and caring...but is he??
after the wife became brain dead her editor tried to find someone who can finish writing her series for her, so the husband picked a girl name Lowren to finish the serie because he had read her books and she wrote kind of similar as his wife. He liked her already as a writer, so Eventually Lowren editor reached out to her regarding the workload. At first she hesitated but Jeremy talked her into it, besides she was being evicted out her new-york apartment after her mom had died 2 weeks ago so what a better way to start fresh and keep busy... she accepted the job and moved in Jeremy and verity's house.
lowren: A young writer who moved in with the weird couple who has just lost 2 kids with the husband looking very attractive that she cannot help but become attracted to him, she found the manuscript the wife had written and she was shook to the core. She begin feeling sorry for the husband and beginning digging to find out more about what happened. She fell in love with the husband and they begin to be intimate with each other but one day while she was kissing him she saw verity standing up the stairs... shocked! how could she stand if she was brain dead? was she pretending? she told her husband about what she saw but he did not believe her. There were a few other incidents were Lowren believed verity was faking her injury but if she was faking then she was good at hiding it.
one day after she had finished the manuscript, she was left alone with Verity alone because Crew who is jeremy's son had an accident at the table with a knife and he had to go to the hospital for stitches. Lowren was always scared to stay with her because Verity gave her the creeps but she put a video monitor in her room to find out for sure if Verity could move all this time and she did! she ran and told Jeremy his wife is faking and that she could move but she was back in her pretending to be asleep. Jeremy got mad at Lowren and told her to leave but she gave him the autobiography to find out what happened, she had to beg him to read it !! so he did and he got so mad that he wanted to kill his wife... but Lowren stopped him because if he killed her he would go to jail so they came up with a plan to make it look like an accident !!! CRAZY PEOPLE !! so they killed her by pretending she choked on her own vomit.
6 months later Lowren is pregnant with Jeremy's baby and they were all moving to another house because the memory of the twins and verity was all over the house. But when they were moving Lowren found a letter verity wrote, in the later she confessed that the autobiography was just her way of exercising to get into the villian mindset and that all of it was lies, she even wrote that Jeremy already found the autobiography before and that Jeremy was the one who put her in the car and made it look like an accident when she hit the tree! so Jeremy knew all this time.
But lowren never told him what the letter said...so who was lying???
2022-08-10T18:46:00+02:00
2022-08-09T21:21:14+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
" breathless,
unsettling,
yet glorifying."
2022-08-09T17:25:32+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
" It's all about you.
Writing poetry is no longer the same because you are all that I think about when I am not supposed to.
Your voice makes me feel inexplicable things.
Your eyes make me weak,
how will I be able to stare at them after all the thoughts that ran through my head?"
2022-08-08T19:22:06+02:00
Acne.
For anyone struggling with Acne this is for you.
I started struggling with acne during my early adulthood and most people had their fair share during puberty, well that's not how it happened for me. It feels like puberty really hit me in 2020 after covid and then I started breaking out on my face, wearing the face mask really doesn't help. My acne has improved tremendously because I used to have really bad and almost severe acne from 2020-2021 and I felt so hideous because of it. My self-esteem took a big hit but little by little I started to realize this is only temporary and I am still beautiful no matter what. After going through many rounds of treatment for acne with my primary care doctor as well as my dermatologist my skin is finally improving, I did however experience some break out last month but it is the summer months and it's humid... there's a lot of UV rays out because of the sun so make sure you wear sun-screen (even if you're black). that's my little story.
Having acne doesn't take away from your beauty, you are still beautiful. it might feels like everyone is staring but trust me you are still you and one day your face will clear and your beauty will shine even brighter :)
2022-08-08T17:03:42+02:00
everything 80's
As you must know by now I am a huge fan of the 80's and in my opinion the 2000s couldn't compare! The 80's was just a fun time with great music, great entertainers, Saturday night live was funnier back then, great movies. The best of all cartoons only came on TV on Saturday mornings only, so if you didn't wake up early to catch the new bugs bunny episode you would have to wait until next week and I think that really teach the kids about patience back then. Now you can watch cartoons whenever you want and I am happy about that because I am still a child at heart! and I still pretend like I am waking up early on Saturdays to watch cartoons like old times! I wasn't alive in the 80's but in the Caribbean they only play cartoons early in the mornings so I would wake up early to watch cartoons when we had electricity. All of that taught me patience and a life without instant gratification because things were slower back then but now we are living the fast life! to the point we cannot waste a second to wait for the internet to work without getting frustrated but imagine this there was no internet in the 80's !!
There was no such things as fake news, I mean of course there we gossips but the real news was on newspapers and the journalist made sure their sources were legit, they did not just print garbage. Nowadays you can practically read anything online and in the magazine but doesn't mean that they are true!
I love Madonna back in the 80's she was quite popular and her sense of fashion and music was really cool. You know I am already obsessed with Michael Jackson so I don't have to talk about him for the 100th time lol. One person I barely talked about is the beautiful and talented Whitney Houston! people used to say I looked like her when I was slimmed...even now too if I have a pulled back hairstyle! she was talented whewww that voice omg! she was indeed amazing. I love her bodyguard album even though that was released in the 90's but I love her first album and I especially love her song greatest love of all .. I heard she almost dated Michael Jackson but because she used to date Jermaine while he was married! Michael didn't want anything to do with her but they would've made a nice couple. Tom Hanks wasn't crazy back then and he made good movies. Brooke Shields was the beautiful woman around that time and she was just so well spoken and soft! wow what a beauty she was. Janet Jackson was breaking out of her shell and came out with her first album. Bill Cosby show was great too! but we are not going to talk bout him as person just the show because what he did was just awful and inhumane... but nonetheless he really raised the bar high for black parents with his show, it showed the world that as black people we are not always dysfunctional and that we can have high moral values as well as standards.
I like Prince a little, he is slowly growing on me I just couldn't stand how full of himself he was but he was surprisingly funny! I also love the group gun N' roses they had a few songs that I like. I feel like back then people sing with a purpose they did it because it was their passion, now people just make music to make money and they probably don't even care about what they put out.
Can I turn back time !!!?? I would go back to November 1982 that month when the thriller album was released :)
2022-08-04T20:57:03+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
" if my heart stops today just know it was all yours before it gave up on me."