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" you can't tell me what to do,
I've made it this far...
how did you think I got here?
why do I always look like a damsel in distress when I carry the load all by myself."
2021-11-28T03:49:06+01:00
Suivez-moi
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2021-11-27T21:47:06+01:00
bye.
" you letting me go was the beginning of me choosing myself and falling in love with myself.
saying that I didn't miss you would be a lie because I've cried myself to sleep for weeks.
watching all that we built come crumbling down at my feet made me despise living.
It baffles me how you found someone that quick,
it's even hilarious watching you claiming something that you felt so repulsive about.
saying you're a traitor is such a disgrace to the word.
The betrayal cut like a knife entering a fresh wound.
You are dead to me.
it's not time to make amends, talk to someone who cares."
2021-11-27T21:41:38+01:00
you.
" Excitement is not the word I would use to describe what I felt when I saw you and seeing what I was missing all along only made me want to jump right back in to fight for what I was mysteriously missing."
2021-11-27T21:38:24+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
"Here it go again,
loving a lost soul, and hearts are broken.
I was going to let all of the emotions flow out of me and let my guard down...
If only I knew how to do such things."
2021-11-27T01:02:52+01:00
unpopular opinions
I am not sure why I am feeling this way, perhaps it's because I always have strong opinions about what I like and what I don't like but if I were to be honest, I am not feeling Adele's new album... she is an amazing singer and I am not saying that I hate the album but I just can't seem to find the right headspace to enjoy it. Those songs besides "easy on me" didn't do any impact on me! I love her as a singer but honestly, I just feel like her songs are a bit repetitive for example one of the songs on the album sounded too much like rolling in the deep.
I went crazy when Billie Eilish dropped her album and I loved more than half of the songs on the album... I've listened to it many times, in the car, in the shower, while getting ready even while working. I didn't really need to find the right time to enjoy those songs, they just kind of sneak up in my playlist, and I will just stop and listen.
Maybe my opinion will change but for now, the album just doesn't do it for me.
2021-11-25T19:38:59+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
" Leave me, free me because I would hate to leave you."
2021-11-21T16:41:29+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
“Wish I could scream, run, speak or anything but all I can do is just breathe and wait for the storm to pass.”
2021-11-21T16:33:22+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
My red engine light is on, it’s always hard to figure out the source of the issue. Each month something different happens and I find myself with no energy as the enemy is eating me from the inside… all I want is to escape.
2021-11-19T23:11:01+01:00
what happened?
This is not about me it's concerning Archie lol well you all know how much he means to me... let me say how much he has done so far.
- he has brought a smile to my face each time I see his beautiful face and each time he runs to greet me at the door when I come home. (very few things make me smile but he always does!)
- when my alarm rings in the morning and he comes to snuggle with me just so I don't get up that melts my heart! he makes me feel so loved and appreciated... I know people say that cats are aloof well I haven't experienced that.
- he knows when I am not feeling well, one time I was going through some episode and mentally I really wasn't there...he came in my room saw me sitting there about to do something completely stupid with tears in my eyes, he approached me to look me straight in the eyes and got on my legs and bury his face in my chest as if he was giving me a hug... I am writing this and I am crying... because I don't deserve him. He made me feel seen and he saved me that day.
- he is always next to me and he knows when something is different... when I cut my hair he got on my shoulders and went on top of my head to see what happened lol!!
there are a lot of things that happened... but our bond is very strong, he understands me and I do too. well, he had the surgery so he was in a lot of pain earlier, he has been sleeping and resting so he is recovering.
if you appreciate Archie as much as I do you are truly an angel.
2021-11-19T22:56:21+01:00
Antisocial
Today is a great day,
Adele did drop her new album as promised but it will take some time for some of the songs to grow on me... I am in a good mood today because I tried this great salad place called Sweetgreen and now I am hooked; I will not go there a lot I will only go there when I want to treat myself. It's not such a surprise that I am discussing the topic of being " Antisocial", well let's get into it.
Do I believe that I am antisocial? Uhm yes, well not entirely but my social skill is worse than what it was at the start of the pandemic. I mean I cannot beat myself over it nor should I feel like a failure because so much has happened and I am honestly grateful to be alive today. I hope that all of you are doing well, I worry about the very few people that I talk to because if I talk to you every day consider yourself lucky because I hate doing that lol if I do it I must admire you. I talk to the same people every day, my mom is practically my sister and best friend and I just don't feel comfortable leaving my house or going to events. I am sorry but... I mean why am apologizing? that is how I feel ! I want to spend time alone, I want to stay in my bed and I don't want to go out right now. Maybe I am evolving or maybe I am beginning to appreciate the person that I am becoming and to love myself deeper than I have ever done in the past but all I want to do is to spend time alone while I work on myself; the finishing product will certainly be great but there has been a lot of tears, sadness, failed relationships that shapes who I am today. I am very grateful for all the good and the bad experiences because each of them has taught me something new.
thank you for reading I appreciate you.