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2021-10-31T01:13:20+02:00
" I have good and bad days just like everyone else but today I woke up not liking anything about myself. I couldn't stand the sight of me in the mirror and I just wanted to disappear like I always do when my emotions are clouding my judgments. If only I could go back to yesterday when I woke up so sure of myself and knew exactly what I wanted to do."
2021-10-30T00:14:59+02:00
" Nothing beats the fact that despite the obvious I am utterly clueless."
2021-10-29T22:01:08+02:00
" When I was small I wanted to be big; when I finally got bigger I begin to realize that being small was actually my calling."
Ever since I was a little girl, I've always wanted to gain weight but it was never that easy. I realized that I was going to stay small unless I find something to change that...so I made it a mission to find something that could change my anatomical shape and size. Years later, I had finally found something that works but the side effects could potentially put my health in great danger; did I care that I could mess up my health? Nope, not really I just wanted to gain weight and I did; when that happened I was blinded by temporary happiness and I couldn't see just how far gone I was in the pursuit of that fleeting appearance that I care so much about.
Was I stupid for going against nature? yes, I think that it was a bad decision but when I started I didn't think it was. I thought I was doing a good thing but really I was destroying myself bits by bits. When I finally realize what I had done I begin to take a step back and I begin to see how much damage that I've done to my own self. Why must I always sabotage a good thing? why didn't I think that I was enough? In the midst of it all, I crave the stability and the routine I used to have knowning exactly what fits and what doesn't. I am slowly going back to my regular ways and I am not caring about what other people think that I should do or look like anymore. I will look and sound exactly how I want to be and the world can change its mind. I am no longer changing myself to the detriment of my health for the approval of others.
2021-10-28T19:28:55+02:00
" Some people are better at being friends but not at being mates in a committed relationship."
That theory is very true because let me tell you a little story, I had a crush on this guy that i've never had a proper conversation with before and every time I would see him I would laugh or just pretend I didn't see him. I am quite sure he thought I was weird or even retarded well that was in the early stages... because at that point I had no idea what to do with myself in his presence. I had no idea what his likes and dislikes were; I would stalk him on Instagram so basically I had an Instagram crush. He was the cutest and the sweetest person in my eyes, until we eventually bonded over a funny video. We talked and we kept talking for a while but the more I talk to him the more I realize how cool and laid back he is; I had stopped making things awkward and eventually I realize we fit better as friends. He actually did have a little crush on me when we started talking but by that time I saw him as my best friend... moral of the story wait before having a crush on someone, have a conversation with the person first because they can turn out to be completely different than what you had imagined.
stay safe out there!
2021-10-27T21:07:23+02:00
" I grew up watching music videos and movies about how love is full of heartache which then made me believed that love is pain. Those representation of what love is, made me see love in a whole new way as I started to feel that if I were to fall in love it would hurt me way more than the person who says that they are in love with me but sadly all I ever experienced has been unrequited love which then made me avoid love like the plague. Was I ever in love those 2 times? or was it just infatuation? I remember being curled up on my bed crying at 13 which was the last time I ever felt something remotely close to love... is love really pain or was I misinformed? why am I not excited to be in love? why has society made toxic love seems so exciting? the poet in me is crying because of the lack of authenticity and the absence of the proper intensity of love. My love is so strong that it's almost magical, it consumes me and make me want to write poetry all day while I stare at the stars wishing I was up there too..."
2021-10-27T13:42:50+02:00
I hate the rain because it makes me sad and it's been raining all week, I've tried to ignore it but I have enough of it now... if I was staying home it would've been fine.
*I would never last in England.
2021-10-26T20:19:59+02:00
why not, i'm bored.
I think that they both serve their purposes but for acquaintances a text will suffice because an unexpected phone call would be awkward, I will ran out of things to talk about and I will most likely not pick up. If we're friends then I don't mind a phone call and that is if I am not busy, well actually if we're close call me anytime because I always make time for the few close people that I have in my life. However, I hate voice notes and I only do them when I am mad or have a lot of things to say otherwise you will just get a text from me lol.
I don't have a most favorite one; I love a lot of female singers and I don't think I am obsessed with one in particular but when I was 14 I really loved Rihanna and I still do.
Right now I don't care much about hair length and if it's cute then I like it, I am currently rocking a buzzcut that is growing out and quite frankly I am starting to fall in love with it. It also brings out a confidence side of me that I didn't know was there because I am not relying on anything else but my face.
Uhm I was never strastruck by any celebrity but I find 25 year old Michael Jackson to be very attractive and especially he was soft spoken and very educated ! (just my type :) he is a safe choice lol for apparent reasons. but also I find Timothee Chalamet very handsome in Dunes! I mean in general he's very cute lol.
1. A summer in Paris! 2. Greece in the winter 3. Italy during spring...and DR ( all year round), Tahiti, Hawaii…but all I know is I really want to go to Europe.
This is very tricky considering that I have a very concerning playlist lol I have music from all over the world but I do listen to French music more than any other culture but not more than American music. I guess I love them both equally I gotta listen to Dadju, Imen es, Maitre Gims, KeBlack, Ronisia, Aya Nakamura... and Adele, Rihanna, Beyonce, Joeboy(sip) currently obsessed...
2021-10-26T16:11:03+02:00
" You are a weird combination soft yet dominant, attentive but can be self centered; insecure yet overly confident at times"
2021-10-25T19:22:00+02:00
" The best friendship are the ones that feels like the relationship between a sister and a brother. I love platonic relationship between man and woman because to me that is just the most innocent yet vulnerable friendship one can ever experience in a lifetime. I love you my old boy best friend! I always think about you too bad it didn't work out :("
2021-10-22T15:34:35+02:00
uhm... this is a true story that literally just happened ! I was doing research on what introverts are sensitive about and I saw things like: coffee (makes them jittery), little sleep(disrupts their daily routine and activities) and changes affect them (they need time to adjust to any changes) but then I googled what do introverts need and straight up it says in bold letters PERSONAL SPACE ! so there you have it we are big on our personal space so don't invade an introvert's personal space !!.
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