/image%2F0653521%2F20241210%2Fob_84fa33_img-4152.JPG)
" Nothing beats the fact that despite the obvious I am utterly clueless."
2021-10-30T00:14:59+02:00
Suivez-moi
Newsletter
Abonnez-vous pour être averti des nouveaux articles publiés.
2021-10-29T22:01:08+02:00
confession
" When I was small I wanted to be big; when I finally got bigger I begin to realize that being small was actually my calling."
Ever since I was a little girl, I've always wanted to gain weight but it was never that easy. I realized that I was going to stay small unless I find something to change that...so I made it a mission to find something that could change my anatomical shape and size. Years later, I had finally found something that works but the side effects could potentially put my health in great danger; did I care that I could mess up my health? Nope, not really I just wanted to gain weight and I did; when that happened I was blinded by temporary happiness and I couldn't see just how far gone I was in the pursuit of that fleeting appearance that I care so much about.
Was I stupid for going against nature? yes, I think that it was a bad decision but when I started I didn't think it was. I thought I was doing a good thing but really I was destroying myself bits by bits. When I finally realize what I had done I begin to take a step back and I begin to see how much damage that I've done to my own self. Why must I always sabotage a good thing? why didn't I think that I was enough? In the midst of it all, I crave the stability and the routine I used to have knowning exactly what fits and what doesn't. I am slowly going back to my regular ways and I am not caring about what other people think that I should do or look like anymore. I will look and sound exactly how I want to be and the world can change its mind. I am no longer changing myself to the detriment of my health for the approval of others.
2021-10-28T19:28:55+02:00
crush
" Some people are better at being friends but not at being mates in a committed relationship."
That theory is very true because let me tell you a little story, I had a crush on this guy that i've never had a proper conversation with before and every time I would see him I would laugh or just pretend I didn't see him. I am quite sure he thought I was weird or even retarded well that was in the early stages... because at that point I had no idea what to do with myself in his presence. I had no idea what his likes and dislikes were; I would stalk him on Instagram so basically I had an Instagram crush. He was the cutest and the sweetest person in my eyes, until we eventually bonded over a funny video. We talked and we kept talking for a while but the more I talk to him the more I realize how cool and laid back he is; I had stopped making things awkward and eventually I realize we fit better as friends. He actually did have a little crush on me when we started talking but by that time I saw him as my best friend... moral of the story wait before having a crush on someone, have a conversation with the person first because they can turn out to be completely different than what you had imagined.
stay safe out there!
2021-10-27T21:07:23+02:00
love?
" I grew up watching music videos and movies about how love is full of heartache which then made me believed that love is pain. Those representation of what love is, made me see love in a whole new way as I started to feel that if I were to fall in love it would hurt me way more than the person who says that they are in love with me but sadly all I ever experienced has been unrequited love which then made me avoid love like the plague. Was I ever in love those 2 times? or was it just infatuation? I remember being curled up on my bed crying at 13 which was the last time I ever felt something remotely close to love... is love really pain or was I misinformed? why am I not excited to be in love? why has society made toxic love seems so exciting? the poet in me is crying because of the lack of authenticity and the absence of the proper intensity of love. My love is so strong that it's almost magical, it consumes me and make me want to write poetry all day while I stare at the stars wishing I was up there too..."
2021-10-27T13:42:50+02:00
:( stop raining.
I hate the rain because it makes me sad and it's been raining all week, I've tried to ignore it but I have enough of it now... if I was staying home it would've been fine.
*I would never last in England.
2021-10-26T20:19:59+02:00
Q&A
why not, i'm bored.
- which do you prefer phone calls or text?
I think that they both serve their purposes but for acquaintances a text will suffice because an unexpected phone call would be awkward, I will ran out of things to talk about and I will most likely not pick up. If we're friends then I don't mind a phone call and that is if I am not busy, well actually if we're close call me anytime because I always make time for the few close people that I have in my life. However, I hate voice notes and I only do them when I am mad or have a lot of things to say otherwise you will just get a text from me lol.
- Favorite female singer?
I don't have a most favorite one; I love a lot of female singers and I don't think I am obsessed with one in particular but when I was 14 I really loved Rihanna and I still do.
- Long hair or short hair?
Right now I don't care much about hair length and if it's cute then I like it, I am currently rocking a buzzcut that is growing out and quite frankly I am starting to fall in love with it. It also brings out a confidence side of me that I didn't know was there because I am not relying on anything else but my face.
- who's your celebrity crush?
Uhm I was never strastruck by any celebrity but I find 25 year old Michael Jackson to be very attractive and especially he was soft spoken and very educated ! (just my type :) he is a safe choice lol for apparent reasons. but also I find Timothee Chalamet very handsome in Dunes! I mean in general he's very cute lol.
- which vacation spot do you want to go?
1. A summer in Paris! 2. Greece in the winter 3. Italy during spring...and DR ( all year round), Tahiti, Hawaii…but all I know is I really want to go to Europe.
- Do you prefer French music more than American music?
This is very tricky considering that I have a very concerning playlist lol I have music from all over the world but I do listen to French music more than any other culture but not more than American music. I guess I love them both equally I gotta listen to Dadju, Imen es, Maitre Gims, KeBlack, Ronisia, Aya Nakamura... and Adele, Rihanna, Beyonce, Joeboy(sip) currently obsessed...
2021-10-26T16:11:03+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
" You are a weird combination soft yet dominant, attentive but can be self centered; insecure yet overly confident at times"
2021-10-25T19:22:00+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
" The best friendship are the ones that feels like the relationship between a sister and a brother. I love platonic relationship between man and woman because to me that is just the most innocent yet vulnerable friendship one can ever experience in a lifetime. I love you my old boy best friend! I always think about you too bad it didn't work out :("
2021-10-22T15:34:35+02:00
research chronicles...
uhm... this is a true story that literally just happened ! I was doing research on what introverts are sensitive about and I saw things like: coffee (makes them jittery), little sleep(disrupts their daily routine and activities) and changes affect them (they need time to adjust to any changes) but then I googled what do introverts need and straight up it says in bold letters PERSONAL SPACE ! so there you have it we are big on our personal space so don't invade an introvert's personal space !!.
2021-10-21T19:24:08+02:00
myth about being an introvert.
I am currently reading a book about introverts so yes all I want to talk about now has to do with being an introvert, it's annoying I know but most of you did put up with me this long when I talk about cats almost every week so it won't be that bad to stick around for however long I take reading that book.
" There is no such thing as a pure introvert or a pure extrovert. Such a man would be in a lunatic asylum."
I completely agree, even if we all have different personalities such as being an introvert or an extrovert but none of us are fully what that personality test says we are. All of us are complex human beings with different background and upbringing which is why there is different types of introverts and different types of extrovert. Things are never black and white, in my opinion there is always a gray area and a hole in every theory, don't come at me that is just my opinion. I am in fact an introvert but I am not a pure introvert because if I were to be one I would never step foot outside my house, I would never interact with others and I would be put in a psych ward. Let's get into the myths...
1. All introverts hate being around people. That is not true some of us are social introverts which means we like to spend time with close friends and I fall in that category; I love spending time alone but I also love spending time with the very few close friends I have because that also makes me happy. So no not all introverts hate being around people.
2. All introverts are bookworm. That is simply false not all introverts I know like to read some of us hate it with a passion because that depends on the person's likes and dislikes it has nothing to do with their personality because some extroverts love to read too.
3. All introverts are quiet. That is false but true in some ways let me give two parts to this answer. Part 1. most introverts are quiet upon meeting them because we aren't social butterflies unless we are taught to be more social but at first we were all quiet. Part 2. False because once we get comfortable some of us just won't shut up and we might even cut you off in a conversation because we have so much to say. For us it's all about being comfortable and being able to connect on a deeper level with someone to fully let our guard down.
4. all introverts are shy. FALSE! I can't stress this enough not every quiet person are shy, some just simply like to stay quiet and observe their surrounding before they speak or let their guard down but it doesn't mean that they are shy. I am not shy but not everyone will believe that because I am the quiet girl in the room! yes I am extremely awkward but that is part of who I am as a person but to be honest now I am less awkward lol, I am not shy because I am not afraid to talk or meet new people and if I like someone's vibe I will even crack jokes with that person and be comfortable but if you are anxious then I will become anxious (I am an INFJ So I do take on other people's emotional state without wanting to.) *Also if you want to know what your personality is take the myer briggs test! I love psychology so yes I am always trying to figure out what my personality and my friends personality are. By taking the test you will learn more about yourself and you might even figure out why you are the way you are and for me that is the best thing in the world!
There are more myths but I just can't think any more of them plus I just had lunch so my belly is full... I kinda want to take a nap but I am at work.