Powerless by Lauren Roberts
Reading this book changed my perspective on love, grief and friendships. This is the story of Kai and Paedyn Gray.
The story starts with Paedyn stealing sticky buns to bring back home to her friend Adena. They are homeless they lived in an abandoned building near a pile of trash, they sleep on the floor. Paedyn steals whatever she could find to keep both of her and friend alive. Her friend Adena sew clothes to sell at the market. Paedyn is an ordinary she has no powers, when the plague happened a lot of people got powers they were called the elites and the ones who didn’t have powers were called ordinary. The people who didn’t have powers were banned from the palace and were either killed because the king said the ordinary people were diseased and they were draining the power out the elites (which was a lie) the king wanted a strong kingdom with only people with powers, the elites. Adena was a mundane her power wasn’t as useful. But Paedyn had no powers, after her father was killed she ran away from home leaving her dead father behind because she was only 11 she couldn’t stay in the house. She became homeless and that’s how she met Adena. Before her father died he trained her how to pretend to be a psychic, Paedyn would try to make people believe that she had psychic powers but that was just the results of intense training with her father. She became really good at deciphering people’s secrets through observation, and some people believed she was psychic.
One day while on her daily run to steal food, shillings (which is money) she ran into a man and she saw that the man had a lot of money in his pocket so she bumped into him and stole half the coins because she didn’t want him to notice that she just stole from him. The man named is Kai he is a prince and the future enforcer or the head of the army. But Paedyn didn’t know that. She pretended to be nice to him but deep inside she hated every man who walked around with a lot of money and who was unwilling to help the poor. She kept walking after apologizing to the man. She then came back to that alley as she saw a huge crowd gathering around something that sounded like a fight. She saw the man she just stole from on the floor being beating by another man, the other man is a silencer he was silencing the prince which is basically draining the prince power before he could use it against the silencer. The prince was hopeless he was about to die but Paedyn stepped in, she got closer and fought the silencer. Then Kai came to his feet and the imperials came and arrest the silencer; Paedyn didn’t way to stick around she started walking away until Kai found her.
Paedyn and Kai had this playful banter it’s clear they both found the other one attractive. Kai thanked Paedyn for saving his life. Then Paedyn found out he is in fact the prince which was more disappointing to her because she hated the kind and his kingdom because of what they did to her father. While talking to her Kai tried to siphon Paedyn’s power but he couldn’t access it because Kai could feel other people’s power and use it as well. Paedyn explained to him that she is a psychic and no one can have access to her powers and surprisingly Kai believed her and let her go.
The next day Paedyn went to the market for her daily run to steal whatever she could find only to realize everyone knew what she did yesterday and how she saved the prince! They were calling the silver savior because she had silver hair. She then found out that her name was on the list for the next trial which is basically a competition where only the strongest survived. She had no powers how would she survived ? She lived in the slums, sure she could fight because her father trained her ever since she could walk, her dagger was her only weapon.
An imperial came and escort her to the palace after she said bye to her friend Adena. When she got to the palace she had a bed, hot water and food all the things she lacked for the past 5 years. She was locked in her room for 2 days then she went to dinner to meet the king, queen and the princes. She saw Kai again who was also competing in the trail, she also met Kitt the future king who is Kai’s brother. Both brothers are different kitt has blond hair with green eyes, and Kai has dark hair with gray eyes. She didn’t like kitt at first because he reminded her of the king because of the striking resemblance. The contestants get acquainted before the trials. Paedyn asked for her friend Adena to come to the palace as her seamstress to make her a nice dress for the ball. Everyone was expected to wear green because that was the color of the kingdom but Paedyn couldn’t care any less she wore a silver dress instead and that got everyone attention. Kitt asked her to be his date and she agreed.
The trials were entertaining for the people but it was one more occasion for unnecessary blood shed and for the elites to show off their power. During the trials Paedyn and Kai got really close, Kai often saves her from dying multiple times. It wasn’t long enough before both started liking each other. Even if they denied it. Kai became a little jealous because his brother kitt started getting close to Paedyn but Kai never confronted his brother he always let him have his time with her.
Kai is not controlling and that’s why I love him so much in his head he would think of her this way:
“I will her to meet my eyes, and when they do—
Sparks.
Electricity.
Everything beautiful, everything bold, everything breathtaking—that is
what I feel in her gaze.
That, and terrified. Terrified of what she is doing to me.
She is a vision, a nightmare, a dream.
A grim reaper clad in black, come to steal my soul and my heart.
I’ve never seen something so beautiful, so bold, so blatantly wrong for
me.
She is a devil.
She is a deity.
She is a man’s downfall in human form.
She is my downfall.
Then her eyes drift to Kitt.
The connection snaps.
And I’m left feeling empty besides the jealousy growing inside of me.
Why did I ever think I could have her, ever think she would have me?
Because beasts don’t get the beauty.
The king disliked Paedyn because she got close to both of his sons and the
King told her to stay away from them because she was a bad influence on them only because Kai was helping her at the trials and the king hated that.
Throughout the whole story Kai never mentioned her body or even touched her inappropriately by the fact they never even kissed! By page 392 I was about to rip my hair out because they have this sexual tension! But no one does anything! At one point they were about to kiss mad they didn’t!
Finally on page 410 Kai somewhat confessed his feeling? I mean look “
I meant what I said. I can’t take my eyes off you. I can’t take my mind
off you.”
I look away from his burning gaze, shaking my head as I mutter, “Kai, I
—”
“Paedyn.”
I still. I shiver. He says my name like it’s sacred, like it’s an oath he’s
swearing.
He tilts his head to the side, eyes roaming over my face. “Tell me,” he
murmurs, “what do you want me to call you?”
My eyes slowly meet his, confused by his question. “What do you want
to call me?”
“I want to call you mine.”
We stare at each other. Both of us breathing hard, both of us taking in
the other. The rain is still splattering Kai, clinging to his thick lashes and
dripping from his jaw.
“I know you feel it too,” he says quietly.
“Feel what?”
“Feel alive. Feel on fire. Feel.” There is an intensity in his eyes, his
voice, that makes my heart race even faster. He looks away, cursing under
his breath before his gaze crashes back into mine. “Pae, when I look at
you...I’m devastated. I’m drowning. I’m dying to catch my breath.”
At the end of the of the last trial the winner has to kill the prisoner at the end of the maze. Paedyn was the first one to get there and when she arrived she saw her friend Adena, she shouldn’t have been there because she’s not a criminal
Another contestant got there and killed here friend. Paedyn is left crying and screaming, it was at this time the resistance came in through the tunnel
And took over. But they got overpowered and the a huge fight broke out Paedyn knew her cover was blown because she was the only one who knew about the secret tunnel after kitt told her, she ran out and while she was trying to escape she came face to face with the king, they fought and the king told her Kai was the one who killed her father because the king sent him on a mission and Paedyn father was his first kill. Paedyn then killed the king and ran, but Kai found her.
Kai’s voice trembles like his hands. “I should bury this blade in your
throat.”
And he could easily do it too. I have no weapons, no will, no energy to
try and stop him.
My voice sounds as ragged as I feel. “Then do it.”
He’s shaking his head at me, looking just as disgusted with himself as
he is with me. “I will. I should.”
He grimaces as he grips the dagger aimed right at me. Another
frustrated sound tears from his throat. He runs both bloody hands through
his hair, shaking his head at the ground.
“Then why can’t I do it?” Now he’s staring at the weapon in his hand, at
the weapon he could easily take my life with. “Why is it that when it comes
to you, I’m suddenly a coward? Why is it that when it comes to you, I
suddenly care? Why is it that I can’t throw this damn knife at my father’s
killer!?”
His chest is rising and falling rapidly with each ragged breath. I, on the
other hand, think I’ve stopped breathing altogether when he says, “I told
you I was a fool for you, and it seems I was right.” His laugh is biting. “I’m
a fool when it comes to you.”
The next words out of his mouth are damning yet deceptively calm.
“Maybe when I rid myself of you, I’ll find my courage. So I’m giving you a
head start.”
I blink at him. My feet seem to be rooted to the spot. I don’t move an
inch, too shocked and startled to do anything but stare.
“At least you kept your promise. You stayed alive long enough to stab
me in the back.” He laughs bitterly, remembering the attack after the first
ball when I tended to his wound. “And now I promise to return the favor.”
His voice strains with emotion. “Run, Paedyn. Because when I catch you, I
will not miss. I will not falter. I will not make the mistake of feeling for
you.”
Kai told her to run because he could not bring himself to kill her. Kitt became king and asked his brother to bring him Paedyn gray! And the end for now lol
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