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2026-02-22T20:23:33+01:00
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I love being at peace, being outside in a quiet garden with just birds chirping, hearing the rain falls as I lay in my bed, watching the rain from a window with a cup of tea in hand. I don’t like arguments, I was born to provide peace, love and kindness.
2026-02-22T20:19:38+01:00
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I still journal every night before bed or daily. I have been doing that consistently for a year now. I am different because I take my time to process some of my emotions, I still avoid most of my feelings but detailing some of it is a start.
2026-02-22T16:23:13+01:00
Never let anyone make you feel bad because of who you are.
I’ve met countless of people who Couldn’t understand me, people who didn’t like me and people who wanted me to be different but I’ve met even more people who loved me for who I am. God created you with all the love you have to give, with all the kindness in you to share, with all the beautiful qualities that other people need to bear witness to. Don’t hide who you are to make others happy. If you’re loud, be loud, be bold, be courageous and be soft when need be.
I love animals and no one can’t take that away from me, no one can make me hate cats or dogs, no one can make me be blend when I was born to stand out. I will be exactly who I am, take it or leave it. Yes I ask dumb question, yes I have kid-like tendencies maybe I am stuck in the past or maybe my traumas stunted my growth but I embrace each and every hardships I’ve been through. No one can make me feel bad for what I’ve been through, I’ve made peace with the past. I am who I am today because of all the things I’ve been through but I choose to be kind because I was born this way.
2026-02-22T15:09:24+01:00
I finished another book! Reckless was even more captivating and I read it in 3 days.
The whole book detailed how Kai was trying to capture Paedyn to bring her back to Kitt at the place. Kitt was losing his mind after being crowned king, rumors started circulating that he was becoming mad and crazed. Kitt wasn’t eating, he spent weeks in the throne room alone, he didn’t shave… he was just scribbling and talking to himself. Meanwhile Kai has been searching for Paedyn and each time he captures her she manages to escaped. When Kai finally captures her she expressed her disdain for him and how she will never forgive Kai for killing her father. But as time went on Paedyn begins to understand that Kai didn’t know who he killed that day and that wasn’t his choice; the king made him do it. Kai also begins to understand why Paedyn killed his father the king, not that he was sad because of the king’s death. Kai didn’t like the king, deep down he wishes he was the one who put that dagger in his throat. Paedyn started realizing that she hated him because of what she felt for him.
Eventually Kai brought her back to the palace after confessing his love for her! I was screaming! When Kai brought Paedyn to the palace Kitt was waiting but the word that followed sent everyone to a shock wave! Kitt said Paedyn was to be his bride!
Then the book ended with Kai’s famous line
“This will be the rest of my life. Forced to love her from a distance. Mourn the
loss of her each day.
But I will.
I will smother every emotion but the one that belongs to her. I will love her
until I am incapable of the feeling.
She is the torture I may not survive.
Eagerly, she is my undoing.
Her gaze lifts, meeting eyes that are not my own.
Eyes of the man who gets to have her—if she allows it.
She was supposed to be my forever.
Now I’ll watch her become someone else”
2026-02-22T00:58:30+01:00
Reading romantic books is a constant reminder that perhaps I’ll never be loved the way I crave to be loved. I’ll never dance under the rain with a guy, never receive flowers, never get love letters from a man pouring out his heart about how much he loves me, never been held until I fall asleep, never been taught a new skill, never been smothered with kisses, never been admired while I’m not looking, never held hands while my heart is full of butterflies, never have a boy wipe a strand of hair off my face, never had a boy held my chin up to look at him…. Maybe I’ll die alone. But I pray that Jehovah takes away the need in me to be loved, I just want to be happy.
2026-02-21T22:52:36+01:00
I want to escape you. Run as far away from you as I can, but instead I seem to be running into you. “
2026-02-20T19:32:12+01:00
" oh I checked on you"
Tiktok memes and instagram reels are not a form of communication! you didn't call, you didn't ask to see me and you didn't text me so no you didn't check on me.
2026-02-20T19:21:28+01:00
Update
After I finish the powerless series, I am going to read silent patient to give myself a break before I attack the fourth wing series !
2026-02-19T14:39:01+01:00
I have 2 bad news
2026-02-19T11:38:08+01:00
I wish you’d care.
I wish you’d listen when I spoke to you.
I wish you’d stay when I didn’t ask you to.
I wish you’d call.
I wish you’d talk to me when I’m distant.
I wish you’d love me.”
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