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2025-10-07T15:31:16+02:00
I don't fall in love, the word love is too small to describe my feelings. It's as if my heart is begging to be loved and my mind fall into a perpetual motion of imaging the person's face, action, words over and over again. So no I don't fall in love, I fall into obsession. Yet I do nothing.
2025-10-06T20:34:09+02:00
-the people who need therapy aren't even in therapy but their victims are.
Don't be a master of destruction, check in with yourself. Go to therapy, get in touch with your feelings. Running away when you are mad is not healthy, running away when problems arise is also not a good solution. Learn proper ways to regulate your emotions and learn ways to communicate effectively with people. Start by going to therapy.
2025-10-06T19:11:31+02:00
I was experiencing another mini burnout last week, it was a long week. I was away from home for 2 days which meant I was partly away from my cats but I did drop by to feed them and to make sure they were okay.
My weekly work out was great but Saturday was badddddd.... I was distracted, sleepy and unmotivated but I showed up and did the best that I could and in the end I was proud of myself. Sure I slept till noon that day and fell asleep again at 9pm but the only thing that matters is that I exercised and stayed hydrated. I feel a little unmotivated lately which is why all my work outs are mostly early morning. I have way more energy when I wake up than in the afternoon and my day is better when I know I have my afternoon free to do whatever I want. I only work out in the afternoon 1 day a week and all the other days are 5am workouts. which means I'm up by 4:30am.
I am not depressed, I can't even cry... I am trying my best to check off everything in my to do list. I do have a daily to do list which mostly contains : 10k steps, read 10 pages, drink 64oz of water, work out.... and some other personal daily goals. Although it feels like I am being unproductive but this is the most productive I have been in years! I mean I am super active, I am reading and I am taking myself accountable for most of my actions...listen baby steps I used to be someone who would never admit my wrongs or my flaws but now I aknowlede them and I am willing to work on them
2025-10-06T03:14:45+02:00
A girl guide to self care: clean girl.
As a woman we should all have a day to reset and to take care of ourselves. For me that day is Sunday here’s what I do:
2025-10-04T03:41:58+02:00
I have no urge to prove myself to you anymore. I like you but I don’t love you anymore. When you left, my heart took years to heal. Without you everything feels dull. Your voice, your face, your lips I miss all of it. The loneliness is killing me. The days feel longer. Nothing makes me happy anymore. I want you yet I’m scared that you’ll never be mine. Your words cut me like knives but I don’t know how to defend myself. I want to run away. I don’t want to be yours as much as I want you to be mine.
2025-10-03T14:29:04+02:00
"Needed a hug but I cried myself to sleep instead.
wanted company but I ran away because being weak is never an option.
Wanted to talk to someone but I disappeared until I felt better, too scared to be seen as a burden."
2025-10-03T04:00:17+02:00
Please don’t leave me.
i need you more tonight …
2025-10-03T03:58:57+02:00
Who’s with you when no else is there?
Who stays after everyone else leave?
Who wipes your tears when you’re too weak to do it yourself?
Who hugs you a little tighter when you feel alone?
Who’s checking up on you when you look sad?
Who’s there?
Hold them tight because that’s rare.
Hold them a little tighter especially when you have nothing for them but they still show up for you and ready to give you the world even when you can’t give them anything.
2025-10-01T15:01:10+02:00
Recently I watched the Ayesha Curry interview from the call her daddy podcast which by the way what kind of name is that! "call her daddy" seriously? anyway that interview was crazy! Ayesha said a lot and most people thought she was entitled and ungrateful.
I think she can say whatever she wants but NOT on a podcast for the whole world to see and embarras your husband in the process. She said " I didn't want to get married, Steph Curry wasn't even my type, he said he was going to be a college basket ball coach and she didn't know he was going to the NBA, I thought I was going to be the one out there getting it and being the breadwinner not him, I wanted to be a career woman." Those were some of the things she said that took everyone by surprise because what do you mean you wanted to be a career woman when you have Steph Curry by your side? what she said was valid because that's her opinion and we are all entitled to our own opinion, but that's what a journal is for. I do believe you can say any messed up things you want if you need to get it out but don't broadcast it and don't tell everyone about your thoughts because not every thought needs to be said out loud! I think we are all free to say whatever you want and to think about anything you want which is why I love open minded people because I say the weirdest things but never to embarrass someone! especially not my husband if I am married. With that being said I can talk trash in my journals because those are my personal items, it doesn't mean I hate my husband, I just need to let out my frustration and a journal is perfect for that.
I advise anyone who's in a relationship or who are married to keep your problems indoors between you and your spouse but if you can't solve the issue then go to someone who can really help not just someone who you know will take your side or someone to vent because that's how gossip start and next thing you know the whole world know your marriage is struggling. I could never be with a man who talks too much, I am a very private person and what I do behind closed doors with you is no one business!
we did not need to know she didn't want to be married because that'd irrelevant now! she's already married with beautiful kids and with a husband who can provide her with whatever she needs! what more do you want!? and I get it she was married young but no one put a gun to her head she could have chose not to marry him. It's too late now, just shut up and enjoy your family or write all of this in your diary because no one cares! we are all struggling financially here she is married to a millionaire and she's complaining! like girl you are looking for problems that you don't even need.
I always advise anyone who's crashing out online to buy a journal or use the notes app on your phone. sometimes you just need to vent and I get it but stop putting everything online! that stays forever. we don't need to know about your bad breakup or how you hate your family... no one cares just buy a journal.
2025-09-29T19:20:31+02:00
To grow your legs and glutes you have to be very patient because there will be setbacks and there will be moments where you feel weak. The number one thing you have to do is eat protein and I mean a lot of it depending on your goal. Glutes are the most stubborn muscle to grow, you have to train hard and lift heavy. On top of that you have to allow time for your muscles to rest before you can work out again. If you are training your glutes daily then you are doing more harm than good, don't be surprise if your glutes are getting smaller. You have to train maximum 3 times a week, no more than that. You have to allow 24-48 hours in between each session to let your lower body rest before you train again. In between each rest just consume a lot of protein and sleep at least 7 hours a night.
Honestly I love the process and you can only fall in love with it if you're not in a rush, because if you want big glutes by next week sorry to break it to you that will simply not happen. You have to be patient and keep working hard. When you acheive your goal, you might not even realize it until someone else comment on it but of course you'll see the progress in the mirror. Some days you won't see the progress because you've seen yourself daily but what I suggest in that case is look at past pictures from 6 months ago you'll see the diffrence trust me.
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