No bread will ever be baked from this dough

2026-08-02T23:49:43+02:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 2 Août 2026 à 11:49 PM

Hug.

Last year I went on a date and I had a good time. At the end of the date we hugged and I never forgot that hug. I truly let myself be free in his arms, in that moment I let my guard down entirely. Usually I don’t let people hold me or invade my space I always have a barrier but that day I let all of it down and I let him hold me. He held me for what felt like forever. I felt all of my broken bones being put back together, it was healing. I wanted to cry, he held me so tight that I could feel his heartbeat beating at the same drums of my heart. It wasn’t sexual and I did like him a little but not enough. If he was someone else I would’ve said yes but it was him and he’s not right for me.

I wish I could be hugged like that again, he didn’t rush it, he didn’t squeeze me… he just held me and that felt so right. He wasn’t tall so the height difference wasn’t a problem. I wish he was different but he’s not. Shortly after that I let him go. My friends always say why do you let all these men go just to be single? Don’t you want someone to talk to?! Well that would be me stringing them along and I hate that. I can’t have them all to myself and I don’t want any of them either. It’s better to say goodbye than to hold on to something with no purpose. I know I’ll never be with them, I know we are not on the same wavelength… why would I waste their time? I’d rather cut it loose than to drag it.

But that hug was magical to me. I didn’t think I wanted to be held and that’s what made it special because the moment he took me in his arms I realize I needed that hug. He felt it too and he held me without any restriction.

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2026-08-02T14:13:46+02:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 2 Août 2026 à 02:13 PM

I just want to clarify, I don’t hate all men. There are a few men I truly loved for example my dad, all of my uncles because my mom has 5 brothers that I know (she only has brothers), a few guys I’ve had crushes on not many but those guys were always on my mind and I would be ready to defend them. After I moved on I could see how they used me, how they weren’t good for me, how they lied to me, how they manipulated me… but for the most part I don’t hate all men.

It’s true because of my past experiences with men that weren’t good, their actions made me become cautious of them. Where I can quickly trust a woman even though some have deceived me but most didn’t, I wouldn’t be so quick to trust a man. I don’t believe all men are liars, cheaters and manipulators. There are good men out there and I hope I meet one. I’m not saying all the men I know are bad. What can I say men have not shown me anything that would make me trust them.

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2026-07-31T11:58:44+02:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 31 Juillet 2026 à 11:58 AM

Man hater playlist

When I made this playlist I was on the phone with a guy. I think he likes me but I don’t know if I feel the same way…

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2026-07-31T01:11:19+02:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 31 Juillet 2026 à 01:11 AM

Lindsay Clancy case:

January 2023

This woman killed her 3 children and tried to commit suicide but she didn’t die. This all happened in Duxbury, MA I remember when I found out about this case I was sooo shocked I wanted to know more but the trial hadn’t started yet.

The trial started this week, and Lindsay Clancy is the defendant and the prosecution is trying to prove that she acted with intent to kill her children, she didn’t follow her doctors direction with the mental health medications she was given. When she didn’t like a doctor or didn’t like the medication she was given for her postpartum depression she would switch doctors and get new medication. She would either stopped medications or start new medications abruptly. Doing so is highly dangerous because it can alter your mental state for worse.

At first I felt sorry for her but I remember thinking why didn’t she just kill herself? why bring the kids into it ? I know depression can be hard for new parents but why did she had to kill the kids? My problem with people who are bashing the husband, they have to remember that he is not the one on trial. They’re saying he was already dating his now wife back when he was with Lindsay and that he was having an affair. He couldn’t wait to start a new life with her, that may be true but cheating is not illegal! It doesn’t compare to someone murdering her 3 children. He is not at fault for Lindsay’s choices!

I’m all for holding the men accountable but he is not at fault here. I read a comment that said “it’s the male privilege that bugs me that he gets to start over with a new wife and have kids” well yeah what did you want him to do? And it’s not male privilege it’s his human rights to remarry and have kids again. He didn’t murder his kids, Lindsay did whether she was truly going through psychosis or not she did in fact do those terrible things!

People are saying how can he be so composed. I’m not gonna lie to you I may be going through the most traumatic experience of my life and I will not cry in public! He may not be someone who cries in public from what I could see his eyes looked dead, he looked defeated, numb and almost just dragging through life. People saying well he moved on so fast! Did he tell you that? Are you in his home? Do you see him daily? I highly doubt that he is able to fully move on from discovering his 3 children lifeless in the basement and found his wife lying in the backyard paralyzed. Discovering all of that blood! Processing the whole thing! Seeing the kids! Having to make that 911 call is all very traumatic.

This is not about a man having the last laugh while the woman suffers, this is about a woman who killed her children and who now has to stand trial while her ex husband has to relive all of the trauma that she put him through because of what SHE did. We have to hold the women accountable too.

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2026-07-30T03:37:37+02:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 30 Juillet 2026 à 03:37 AM

Years ago I met this guy at a club and the lights were dimmed in there so everyone looked good. He looked good to me at the time. So I danced with him the whole night, I even gave him my number before I left.

But for some reason we didn’t speak for a while… then I started my walk with Jehovah. Then all of a sudden he called me, of course coming back to the truth meant I had to change my life entirely. Shedding the old personality for the new one but it was tricky. You see one of my weakness is someone listening to me and asking me deep and meaningful questions. He had a nice voice on the phone, he would listen to me and ask me to explain myself. At first it was hard for me to talk freely because I’m not used to people paying attention to me when I talk or people wanting to fully understand me or to get to know me. I don’t have a way with words, I struggled a lot to explain myself through conversations but he was very patient with me. Sometimes he would ask me a deep question to see how I think and I would take a minute to think about what he just ask me but he wouldn’t speak over me, rush me or break the silence he would wait until I’m ready to answer the question. That to me is extremely attractive! I was emotionally connected to him. At times I would pick up the phone and immediately he would ask what’s wrong? And I would say how do you know something is wrong and he would say because I know you! Ughhhhhhh I loved when he used to say that! But i had to let him go. Not only because he wasn’t serving Jehovah which was and still is a big deal for me because Jehovah is the center of my life so anyone who doesn’t serve him is not right for me to date. I have nothing against any religion but I am entitled to choose who I date.

We went on a date and he showed up to the date drunk! And he didn’t look how I pictured. I wasn’t attracted to him physically so that sealed the deal as well. After the date I was quiet and I blocked him, and moved on with my life. He called me a couple years ago I pretended not to know who that was lol.

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2026-07-30T03:25:04+02:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 30 Juillet 2026 à 03:25 AM

childhood trauma that has never left me:

When I was 15 years old living with my brother. I had a journal and I wrote that I hated him in the journal. Did I hate him? Who knows? I was a teenager so all of my feelings and emotions were heightened. At the time I didn’t like the conditions that I was living in because I missed my home, my mom, my friends and I didn’t feel welcome where I was. I couldn’t speak to my mom on the phone whenever I wanted to talk to her. I would have a bad day at school and I would have no one to talk to but in those moments I would want to talk to my mom like old times but I couldn’t. She was only allowed to call me on the house phone once a week and I couldn’t talk freely because there was two set of phones and someone could be listening to my conversations with her. When she ask me how I was, I would have tears in my eyes but I would tell her I’m fine and she would sense it but I couldn’t tell her anything about how I was feeling. I felt like my feelings and my emotions didn’t matter, like I didn’t matter.
So I would turn to my journal and pour my heart out because that was my only safe place. I would write in French because that’s how I used to write in my journal and that was the language I felt comfortable writing in. Then one day while I wasn’t paying attention my brother took my journal and read it. He called my dad and made a huge deal about it. After that moment everything became 10 times worse for me. i stopped journaling for more than 5 years after that, I had no desire for it because I felt like my privacy was invaded and I no longer felt like it was a safe place for me anymore. Before that I’ve been journaling ever since I could write ! When I was 5 years old I was writing my feelings down! My mom has those notebooks and it’s the sweetest thing. But suddenly I stopped writing and lost interest in it because of what happened. At home I felt so unwelcome, so overlooked, so unloved that I vowed to only surround myself with people who truly love my company and who makes me feel safe. That’s why I always have 1 or 2 friends. That’s probably why I struggle to let people in or to feel welcome in most places. Deep down I always think I’m hard to love, or that I’m not welcome, that I’m not enough… all of these emotional abuse took years to overcome but I am not my past. I am in place where I truly love who I am, do I still have work to do? yes. But I am not that same scared and broken little girl I used to be. But back to the story.

Another time I was speaking to my cousin and I was supposed to go meet him in Canada but my brother claimed that I didn’t have a passport so I couldn’t leave the country. Which was probably a lie. My cousin and I were talking about it and he heard the conversation! And he wanted to kick me out of the house! I was 16 or 17 years old in a country I knew nothing about. I wasn’t allowed to go out, have friends or to even have a phone!

It was a summer of emotional turmoil for me because he made me pack my bag. Everyday he would tell me you’re leaving, you can’t stay here call someone to come pick you up. I would cry everyday because I had no one! Even though I was miserable but I didn’t want to leave! I wanted to stay in the same high school and be around my friends at school. I even wrote him a letter begging him to let me stay because I didn’t want to leave school or be homeless.

Stability is a big thing for me. After all of those traumas I no longer see people or men the same.

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2026-07-29T17:12:07+02:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 29 Juillet 2026 à 05:12 PM

If you have a sensitive heart like me, it is your job to protect it. No one will watch out for your wellbeing as you do for others or as much as you hope. Having a sensitive heart and being an empath is hard. It's hard for me to say no at times, I could be facing the worse possible situation that you can imagine and still show up to help someone with a smile. When I know that I can help someone, but I don't I feel extremely guilty.

some people have hurt me in ways that I should have avoided but because I loved them, I said nothing. But I normally cut these people off eventually, but it was never easy. People don't love like us, they don't care like us, they're not as loyal and devoted like us...it is our job to stay away from toxic people. To master the art of detachment (I have mastered it, I can love someone and still walk away if they aren't good for me. I am also an avoidant so I will always leave or run away! what a weird mix? lol) it is our job to leave at the first red flag, don't make excuses or create an illusion to keep someone. Truth is the person lied, they deceived you, they hurt you and you need to put yourself first and leave. Create distance, inforce boundaries...they don't need to know but little by little you will move on...

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2026-07-29T04:55:55+02:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 29 Juillet 2026 à 04:55 AM

“One day it’ll be different.

I’ll find someone and they’ll never want to say goodbye.

They will want to hold me forever.”

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2026-07-27T13:54:32+02:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 27 Juillet 2026 à 01:54 PM

Emo girl playlist

up above is my emo girl playlist. I listen to it when I’m angry, feeling edgy, mad or just feel weird. I love dark mysterious sounds but not devilish… I don’t watch scary movies. I won’t invite the devil in my home or in my body. I love edgy sounds… my music taste is non dimensional. I listen to any sound as long as I feel some type of pleasure in it.

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2026-07-26T05:01:13+02:00

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Publié par Gaelle.R 26 Juillet 2026 à 05:01 AM

Be with the person made for you.

A lot of us are trying to make it work with people who aren’t right for us. For example I couldn’t be with a guy who doesn’t like cats because I love cats no I’m obsessed with cats, so I gotta have one. My soul was made to love cats. Imagine being with a guy who dictates what you wear, what you eat, what you should do… I can’t do that. For starters I hate when people are telling me what to do. Why would I be with a guy who doesn’t like my style? My hair? The way that I am? It’s asking for a heartbreak! Changing myself to be with someone is something I can’t ever do! I’m very weird but in a good way. I am an acquired taste you either love me or you don’t like me. I am very opinionated, I like what I like and no one can make me change my mind unless I want to. I wear makeup sometimes it’s light but yes I do and I love it because it enhance my beauty. why would I be with a man who wants a girl with natural face 24/7? Go find her because I’m not her. Respectfully I’m not that. I do what I want. I could wake up one day and change my entire closet and decide to wear all black for a month, I could decide to shave my head (I do want a Halle berry cut) I do what I want. I’m not impulsive but I don’t always say my thoughts out loud so when I do something it may come as a shock but truth is I’ve been thinking about it for months. I don’t do anything without a plan.

I am who I am. Would you love me for me? Would you love me at 2am when I am crying just because I feel sad? Would you still love me if you found out I hate parties and I love being home with my cats and books? Actually I don’t hide that I tell everyone guy I am talking to this is what you’re getting yourself into. Take it or leave it.

I hate when people are trying to change me because you can easily find what you’re looking for in someone else, I am perfectly fine. I do believe I was made for a selected few people and I don’t have to force myself down any body’s throat. You don’t like me? Cool, the next person will. I am funny, sad but positive all at the same time! I am a walking contradiction! You get a different me depending on my mood. I am not someone’s maybe, I’ll let you go before you even have time to give me a second thought. I let everyone go, I am not afraid to be alone. I do believe everyone is an experience, they can leave at anytime because I don’t own anyone.

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