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“You have to let me go, because I’ll never be able to let you go.
Please free me. “
2026-05-18T15:30:02+02:00
2026-05-17T18:54:53+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
I hate when someone tells me why aren’t you in a relationship? Why haven’t you given any guy a chance ?
That pisses me off, you don’t think I haven’t tried to give a guy a chance? You don’t think maybe I picked the wrong guy? Who wants to be alone? Certainly not me! I crave love, I want love and I would give anything just to have love even if it’s just for a day. But I’m reasonable and I’m not delusional I know when someone is not for me and I don’t force it. I don’t try to like a guy, if the feeling is not there it’s simply not there. If I wasn’t attracted to you in the first month we started talking, I will probably never like you. I am very slow to fall in love. It’s a build up: I talk to you and I realize wow I love talking to you but that phase happens in 1-2 months. Then I start to look for your text and call, I might even initiate communication! If I do that I am starting to like you. Not quite but I’m getting there and that may happen in 2-3 months. Then when I start to like you I may deny it for 6 months straight! Because how? Then after a year or maybe 2 years I may realize that wow I actually like this guy. When I realize that I actually do like the guy most of the time it’s too late or the guy already moved on with another girl and hey who could blame him? Most people aren’t Jacob they’re not willing to wait years for a girl. I move at the pace of a snail, it’s a slow build up but once I’m in love it’s hard for me to fall out of love or to not give 100%. The only reason I am scared of love is only because I’m afraid of loving the wrong person because that would be my downfall. I don’t give my love freely, they have to show me certain things that I won’t mention here for me to openly love them or even agree to be in a relationship with the guy. I may be in love with the guy and still decide not to be with him because I know he’s not the right one for me. I am very strict in love, if that person doesn’t do those fundamental things that will guaranteed my love and loyalty they won’t be able to get me. So far no man has ever done those things which is weird because those things are so basic and easy! But specific, that’s why I’m single. Yes I have had crushes … but I didn’t love any of them. I have yet to meet the right guy.
2026-05-17T03:49:38+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
Beautiful ugly by Alice Feeney was certainly not what I expected! The story started out with Grady a famous writer who’s excited that he made the New York Times best seller and he calls his wife to ask her to come home so they could share the good news. His wife Abby is a journalist she reports on crime and writes stories about people who have committed crimes and injustice. She started receiving weird phone calls and death threats so she begin recoding all of her incoming calls. That night on her way home to her husband she saw someone on the road, a woman wearing a red coat. Her husband was on the phone and she told him there’s a woman lying on the road, he told her not to get out bust she did because she wanted to help the woman. And that was the last time they saw, Abby went missing after that night. Grady was devastated he wasn’t sleeping, wasn’t eating and he struggled to write. Soon he lost his house and he found out that Abby took a lot of money out of their saving. He didn’t know if Abby was alive or dead. His editor advised him to go to a cabin for peace and quiet to write since he had nothing left. He was sleeping in hotels all he had was his dog. So he went to that cabin located on an island off the coast, that island was so strange. Although it had a lot of trees and the ocean was nice but there were no birds. Everyone was strange, he wasn’t sleeping but he found a first draft copy of a novel another writer who stayed in that cabin was writing. Because he struggled to write he copied some of that writer’s work and made it into his own. He did steal that person’s work essentially he sent it to his editor. He kept seeing his wife, hearing things, someone begin slipping old newspapers that his wife had written in. He thought he was paranoid because he wasn’t sleeping but then he saw Abby but she claim not to remember him but the next day he tried to leave the island but they told him he couldn’t leave. Abby appeared and she asked him why did tu try to kill me? At that point I was like what??? What do you mean?
Apparently that night when Abby saw the woman lying on the road, it wasn’t a woman it was Grady he then grabbed Abby and pushed her off a cliff but Abby didn’t die instead she went to that island and hid there. Grady’s editor is Abby’s godmother and she made a proposal to Grady to stay on that island and write but all the profit will made will go towards the island. The people on the island are all women! It sounded like a cult to me. Grady can’t leave he’s stuck on the island. He write books but he doesn’t get anything.
At the end they buried him alive ! Uhm okay ! I think need to touch grass now but it’s nighttime so I think I’ll go watch SpongeBob because that book was unsettling.
2026-05-15T15:06:54+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
I cannot wait to travel with the love of my life. The only reason I don't travel now is because I want someone to go with me, I travelled my myself and I am forever traumatized. When I get married I want to take the first 1-2 years to travel and then have a kid. Even while me and him are dating we can travel as a group, it will be sooo fun ;)
2026-05-15T01:47:16+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
Looking back that was not okay!
I had my first kiss at 15 years old and it was with a guy who was 18 years old. We kissed in his car, he picked me up at school while I’m supposed to be learning and he drove me to a nearby neighborhood and he kissed me there. His car wasn’t tinted and the neighborhood is right next to my house. Where he took me is right next to the kindergarten I went to! This all happened in Haiti. My mom is 10 minutes away from me and she had no idea. Later on I found out somebody reported to the school that a girl in my school in uniform was doing inappropriate things in that neighborhood! I only kissed him and the kiss wasn’t right because I didn’t know how to kiss. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do or say but he was experienced! I wasn’t. I was raised a Jehovah witness in a very strict household but I was rebelling. We all have that phase in the teenage years where we think we know better and that’s when we make the worse mistakes. Hold on I’m not done, I could have made an even worse mistake!
That guy was my so called friend brother but this girl had already slept with a lot of guys so she didn’t care about me at all. Her brother was dating a girl in my class I wasn’t friends with her but he broke up with her when he saw me at a basketball game, then he asked his sister for my number then we started talking.
At that time I wasn’t allowed to date or talk to boys, my mom monitored my phone the minute I get home and she check it again before I go to bed. I would delete every text messages after I sent them. I was rebelling because I felt abandoned by my second mom and dad when they left and went to live to Canada. I was heartbroken! I was depressed that was the summer before school I remember vividly how depressed I was. I was not eating, I was in my room all day reading the bible and sobbing. I must’ve read the book of psalm over and over again. I felt abandoned and I think that’s where parts of my abandonment issues came from but let’s move on… I stopped going to meetings and I was drifting away. The elders came to see me for a pastoral visit and that didn’t change much. I was still rebelling, I made bad friends and all of them were sleeping with guys. I was still a kid this was my first time having those kinds of friends my mom tried everything to get me away from them but I wouldn’t listen what saved me is that same year I travelled to the us so everything stopped and I went back to being a kid.
Back to the guy, I thought I was dating him but looking back I didn’t have the age to consent ! And I didn’t even like him. I hated that kiss to the point where I tried to erase it from my mind ! I remember thinking how I hated his breath, how it smelled weird. How his mouth was dry, how my teeth banged his. As soon as the kiss ended which was less than 5 minutes I ask him to take me back to school. He kept saying why didn’t you put some lipgloss like dude I don’t know anything about this so you’re getting those dry lips take it or leave it lol. I’m not joking as soon as I got back to school I gargled water down my throat and when I got home I brushed my teeth like 10 times! He wasn’t supposed to talk to me! I was a Kid. But I wasn’t naive I knew sex before marriage is a sin, dating a someone when you’re not ready is not ideal but I was rebelling to a certain degree I didn’t want to go too far.
He then kept texting me soon thereafter to get me to come to his house to have sex with him! Of course I wasn’t going to go but I pretended that I was just to see how far he would go. I was always curious as a child but I knew not to get caught in the mouse trap and not to go where the cat lives. I always stayed distant and out of the mix because truthfully I was still Jehovah’s child but I had to learn a few things about life. The other girl in my class had already slept with him. I knew and I was disgusted. I wasn’t thinking about sex, I had just got my first period and I thought it was disgusting. I ghosted him.
Men around me were perverts… nothing about me signal that I was a woman! I was skinny, no boobs, no butt nothing and I had a kid face! Like what do you want with a child! I looked innocent next to that aged man. Like dude you’re sick.
That wasn’t okay. That is why when I have my daughter I pray to Jehovah that I can protect her as much as I can. I went through too much and I don’t want any of that for her
2026-05-14T18:55:15+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
HELLO guys,
I haven't been on here because I am miserable! I am on a cut which means I am eating less :( It's hard for me to adjust! I still eat a good amount of protein to maintain my muscles but I am trying to get rid of fat before summer. I do a lot more cardio, last sunday I spent 1 hour on the treadmill. I want to be somewhat shredded, I found a new ab workouts and I have been trying them on top of my regular core workouts. I store a lot of fat around my belly which is why I don't eat past 7pm and I don't go to fast food places. People look at my belly and say where's all the fat you're talking about but I see it! I want to get abs and it's hard so yes I am taking my cut serious this time around.
2026-05-13T03:10:34+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
Never lie
This book was good! But I’m so mad that someone spoiled the ending for me on a instagram reel it was quick to! It was just two words and as soon as I started reading the book I knew what was going to happen but there were more plot twist so I’m glad I read it.
It took me 2 days to finish it! Yes I recommend this book if you love crime and mystery with a hint of detective. The story starts out with a couple going to a house showing Tricia and Ethan but it’s in the middle of winter so they have to drive out all the way out of town because the house is away from the city in a remote area (in the woods) how creepy is that! There’s no other houses around that house and it’s a huge house they’re looking to purchase. Tricia immediately felt sick to her stomach because she doesn’t like how secluded the house is but her husband loved how beautiful and big the house is. So they got out the car in the middle of a snow storm their car got stuck in the middle of the driveway to the house. Her husband had to pick her up and carry her to the house. The real estate that was supposed to show them the house was nowhere to be found. They want to get in because they’re stranded and it’s really cold. They would freeze to death if they stayed outside, they found a key under the mat in front of the house and they get in.
The house is dusty and there’s huge portrait of a famous writer and psychologist named Adrienne who was missing possibly dead in the foyer immediately the husband had a weird look on his face when he saw the portrait. This was her house! Tricia asked him what’s wrong and he said nothing. So they try to get comfortable for the night, they inspect the house to see if there was anyone else there but there wasn’t. Tricia heard a noise around the house she was adamant someone was there but her husband kept telling her no. Tricia found out she was pregnant a week ago and that was her secret she wanted to tell her husband. Eventually she told him and surprisingly he was thrilled.
Adrienne was missing they have not found her body. Adrienne was a psychologist who saw patients for appointments at her house. She lived in the big house alone, no kids and no husband. She has a book coming out she would record her patients and Tricia found a few tapes one tape labeled PL which was a woman who had ptsd from witnessing her fiancé and friends killed in a cabin. Adrienne book is about her. Adrienne also had another patient named EJ who began to blackmail her because that patient caught a video of her slashing another guy’s tire because that guy took her parking spot. Adrienne was dating a guy name Luke and Adrienne beg Luke to Hack into ej’s computer and phone to delete his video. Adrienne drugged EJ and Luke went to his house and deleted the video from his laptop. But then EJ had another copy of the video not only that he got the video of Luke breaking into his house so he began blackmailing Adrienne even more. Adrienne became fed up and ask Luke to kill EJ but Luke was offended and left her. Then Adrienne confronted PL known as Patricia who is Tricia from today ( that’s where the spoiler happen I saw Pat (Tricia) and I knew) basically Tricia killer her fiancé after she found out he was having an affair with her best friend and she stabbed herself to make it look like some lunatic murdered her friends and tried to kill her too. But Adrienne knew when someone was lying and she knew Tricia killed those people so now she asked Tricia to help her get EJ for her. Tricia lured EJ to Adrienne house and left him there. Adrienne then suffocated him and left him inside her house inside a compartment in the house. Tricia was worried about what Adrienne did with the body so yes she killed Adrienne …
Ugh there was so much at the end it was crazy but it was a great story. Adrienne was smart but she was manipulative. Tricia is a psychopath. EJ is a narcissist and Ethan is a coward.
2026-05-11T21:05:04+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
How are you? The three most useless words in the universe of
communication. Nobody who asks that question wants to know the answer
2026-05-11T15:06:59+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
Saw my gym crush this morning in a tight fitted shirt and I could not stop staring! he noticed and he smiled at me gosh I thought I was going to pass out lol. The thing is I don't really have a type he's actually 5''5 or around there so no he's not tall at all. Even my biggest crush Mbappe is not tall lol he's 5'10 but that's a stretch I think he's 5'8. My gym crush is shredded ! He probably has 10% body fat. He's short but back is astonishing, abs 6 pack, legs muscled and butt perky (not big or too small) he looks like a greek god he looks sooo good omg. He's Hispanic he used to have medium curly hair but he cut it so now he has a buzzcut he still looks cute. I can never date him but truthfully if I wasn't a Jehovah witness I would let him nail me for sure lol...he looks sooooo good. He's definitely my type, I wish I could show a picture of him.
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He kinda looks like that in the body but his face is softer
2026-05-11T04:00:51+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
Q& A
- What’s one weird thing about me ?
I always lead with my left but I have no idea where my right or my left is so do with that with what you will.
- Do I believe in love?
I love the idea of love and I hope to find it one day but currently no I don’t believe in it. I don’t even think I’ll ever find it.
- How many books do I want to read this year?
50 books, I am currently at 17 books
- What’s my favorite flowers ?
Lillies, specifically stargazer Lillies.
- My favorite book of the year so far?
It’s the powerless series. All the books from that series, so far those were the best books I’ve ever read. Silent patient was really good too.
- A story that shape you?
When I was in 1st grade or kindergarten who knows?! this little boy had a huge crush on me. He would always sit next to me, want to talk to me and I didn’t like him. One day at recess he kissed me on the cheek I was so mad I slapped him. To this day I remember his reaction and how sad he was. My mom had to go in a meeting with his dad … it was a whole thing they had to keep us separated. I keep thinking what if that was my only chance at love and I ruined it!? What if I never find a boy that likes me like he did again? What if God punished me for what I did and that’s why I never found love? That story didn’t shape me but it did shape my love life.