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2021-05-17T22:16:52+02:00
In a world full of hatred and hostility would you dare to love?
Will you forgive them when all you can think about is the pain that they caused?
will you you smile in the face of tragedy?
Will you count your blessing when everything else is falling apart?
2021-05-17T21:52:35+02:00
When I publish my first book I am sure someone will ask me :"who hurt you sis?!"
-lol that was me joking.(I have a dry sense of humor you either love it or hate it, either way I will keep making jokes.)
2021-05-11T22:03:57+02:00
Looks like we are slowly going back to our normal lives. I still take the social distancing seriously although some will argue that it's because I love staying by myself that's why I am more than happy to stay away from everyone but that is also true. I love being alone but not for too long because then I am going to start wondering if I matter to anyone, wow here I go again being emotional; but no I do not have that problem at the moment because I know that even if I don't matter to a lot of people here on earth at least I matter to God, that to me is the most important validation that I could ever receive.
we all need human interactions I agree and I know that I am not the average typical human who craves the company of random people but I would hang out with some people once in a while. I am trying really hard not to bury myself in my own world because the truth is I can and I have done it countless of times. Now that things are slowly getting back to normal because of the vaccine I do feel a little anxious but not because soon we will finally be able to see everyone and be in large crowds but because I am not sure if I'll be able to adapt. I have accepted the fact that being away from everyone and seeing people on a screen as the new normal that I am afraid that I will not be able to handle being with everyone! I am just being a little paranoid as always but I know that I am not the only one who feels this way. Some of us have embraced being alone that being around people especially without a mask will be kind of weird.
Don't get me wrong I want Covid to be gone, we all have lost someone to this tragic pandemic including me but somehow I am still panicking, what if it's too soon? what if I cannot handle it? so many questions... But I know that I will be okay as time goes on and if you feel the same way as I do you will be okay as well.
2021-05-11T19:30:30+02:00
"At times, I miss those days when everything was light between us,
when we could genuinely laugh without thinking the other person is secretly judging the other.
When our smiles were real and when we could really count on each other.
I miss our coded conversations that no one else seemed to comprehend.
I miss seeing you look at me with pride as if you were proud to have me close to you."
2021-05-10T03:33:32+02:00
I am like the most annoying cat mom on earth but I met a few other cat owners who are just like me so that gave me some hope. Archie has been the best kitten a girl could ever have, he's really clean and very independent. I didn't have to litter trained him when I brought him home he already knew how to use it by himself. One thing I don't like is that he does not like to stay on me for too long, he just likes to play and sleep 6 ft away from me but just close enough to check on me whenever he hears a noise. Archie is so quiet he does not like to meow that often unless he's getting anxious or having the zoomies which mostly happens at night.
The weirdest thing he does is quietly getting under the covers while I am asleep to just bite me ugh! I hate when he does that but I love him too much to act aggressively towards him. He is still a kitten even if he is tall, he will be a kitten until he's 1 year in a half he's just 6 months at the moment. I can no longer have headphones with cords anymore because he will chew on them. Archie is the cutest while he's asleep and yawning. I love him so much it hurts, but in the future, I plan on getting another kitten. It will be too much for me to have 2 cats at the moment because I do not have the space for it. I will need to have enough space so that each cat has their own territory because they are very territorial.
so far everything is great I will spay him next month before he starts spraying all over the house, the surgery will be painful but I will make sure to be there for him every step of the way. I will cater to him if I have to lol because he is basically my son. Every time I meet someone who does not like cats I just cannot believe it like how? they are so adorable but I will not force cats on anyone because everyone has their own preference and I respect that.
2021-05-09T06:42:19+02:00
I rarely change but when I do it's mostly always for the best. So about jazz...
I always say that I hate it and that I couldn't stand to listen to it but I fell in love with it recently. It was a late night and my scented candles were lighting up the room delivering a vanilla scent and Archie was having the zoomies again. Out of nowhere I went to my Spotify and type jazz! I am not even kidding I used to hate listening to jazz because I thought it was the same sound playing over and over again... how deaf was I? lol Jazz is beautiful and it calms Archie down a little he is quite the hunter, he can, in fact, catch a mouse.
I am glad that I change my mind about Jazz I am planning on getting a vinyl record to play in my record box. I think it's really vintage, I love vintage and retro stuff. I am glad that I fell in love with it on my own so I won't have to give credit to anyone lol.
2021-05-09T05:09:22+02:00
part 1.
Singing along with you after we printed the lyrics off of my uncle's computer. You always sounded great and I would often wonder what I sounded like. You were always excited to sing with me despite that I was scared in the beginning because I was afraid you would tell me that I sounded bad. I admire your courage and how you were able to stand in front of the whole school to sing that song by Amel Bent. I always knew you would go far in life because of how courageous you are and how you studied really hard in school. You knew most of the answers the teacher would ask especially in history... I hope you are doing well in life and I know that you have a beautiful daughter who looks exactly like you and I hope that she's courageous like you.
Part 2.
It was a bright sunny day and I didn't even need my jacket. We had spent the whole day together and I was really nervous but I could tell you didn't care that I was a bit awkward. I often wonder if you knew the effect you had on me? you were always so sure of yourself, so confident and so tall. All the girls were looking at you and I felt out of place like I shouldn't be standing next to you. That day we walked, laughed, and talked; in the car, the wind was blowing through my hair and you were looking at me mesmerized, I remember thinking is this the part where you fall in love with me? Although we were not meant to be I have many memories of you that aren't completely erased from my brain yet.
Part 3.
I remember thinking look at that girl ! she is so confident and she walks into the building like she own it even if she's not big but you wouldn't know because she acted like the biggest girl in the room. I was always proud of you and I always want the best for you although it is not the same I will always cherish the memory we created while all we had was each other.
2021-05-08T19:16:42+02:00
“Like the psalmist I am like a solitary bird on a roof”
2021-05-08T04:42:33+02:00
hey guys,
One friendly reminder: No matter how passionate and invested I am about my craft, I will only do it if I am inspired. Truth is I can never go a full month without writing.
Like everything else in my life I will only do something if I want to it doesn’t matter what it is, if I want to succeed and excel I will only achieve my goals unless I sat down with myself and give an agreement. When I want to do something I go all in and there is no obstacles that can wear me down because I will fight until there is not a single breath left in me. No one can force me into doing anything unless I want to... for instance at a very young age I wanted to pursue a career in medicine although I am working in health care but I am not sure if that’s what I want anymore. I want to create, publish, inspire, travel and to explore new sides of me that I didn’t know about. I want to grow spiritually and I want to feel even closer to Jehovah; that is all I want in life.
Although I may not be traveling right this minute because of Covid but slowly I will ease into that life. One thing I learn is that we all have a purpose and for so long I have tried to make what my parents want my purpose, or to make what my other friends are doing part of my goals but I took a step back and there was really no one standing back there with me; I took a good look at my life and I realize that I never wanted those things that I’ve spent years chasing. All I ever wanted has always been inside of me all along, I have been looking elsewhere for my purpose while I was living in it sadly I was too blinded to see that. I am slowly making my way back into the light and I am very grateful that I had a little time to think everything through. Now what next?
2021-05-02T12:32:52+02:00
....
there are many more wonderful moments that I enjoy but I would rather put the rest in a story.
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