No bread will ever be baked from this dough

2021-07-20T02:21:05+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 20 Juillet 2021 à 02:21 AM

If you're looking for roses and sunshine you will not find it here.

If you want real joy without the ups and downs I am sorry but my life is a rollercoaster.

If you want love and you're not ready to feel my dark side I am sorry but they walk hand and hand,

I don't know how to love without the pain.

If you want plain and simple then I am not for you because as you peel a layer another one shows and I am afraid that there are more layers underneath, maybe one day you'll get to see the real me and not the version I want you to see.

If you want to party all night and to wake up and find me there, you will be disappointed because I am not the type to go all night...

If you think that I am going to come back after I left I am sorry but I get bored fast and I lose interest at the drop of a hat.

Fight for my love and maybe I'll respond but it's not guaranteed.

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2021-07-20T02:10:01+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 20 Juillet 2021 à 02:10 AM

I guess a little part of me was wishing that you were watching or that you would care.

I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I could no longer reach out to you because you would simply not be there.

I was so caught up in the moment that I missed the concrete.

I made you up in my head, you were never half of the man I imagined.

I fell asleep dreaming of you creating scenarios that will never happen, maybe that's what was feeding my obsession.

When a poet falls in love it's an understatement, she is drowning in love and swimming in lust because everything is felt so deeply.

I wanted to be the one ready to catch you when you fall but instead, I was the one who fell and you weren't there to catch me.

Maybe she is broken inside but it's one thing to be broken and not wanting to be fixed.

The pain is feeding her soul and she doesn't know how it feels to not be broken.

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2021-07-19T19:23:51+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 19 Juillet 2021 à 07:23 PM

one weakness of mine and that is it.

If I see 10 stray cats in the streets I will take them all !!! (ashamed!) if I see a cat being beaten I would cry and want to die; I will fight someone to stop doing anything bad to a cat. I am sorry but when God was creating me he said your only weakness and unconditional love will be for cats LOL

*that was my way of breaking the ice after my last sad post.

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2021-07-19T18:48:20+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 19 Juillet 2021 à 06:48 PM

worse feelings in the world...

being sad, scared and feeling worthless for absolutely no reason at all.
losing someone you love.
being ignored by the one person you don't want to be ignored by.
feeling unwanted.
feeling less than or not enough.
not being able to sleep because you are hurting emotionally.
being rejected by the person you love the most.
finding out that you didn't matter to someone as much as you thought.
watching someone give somebody else all the love and attention you wanted in the first place.
finding out that someone you trusted was talking behind your back.
hoping to get a call or a text from someone who doesn't care about you.
wanting to sleep instead of being awake to feel all he pain.

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2021-07-19T15:41:42+02:00

About Archie.

Publié par Gaelle.R 19 Juillet 2021 à 03:41 PM

Hey guys,

Another update about Archie, you all know how much I love him and he's also my baby boy. I cannot imagine my life without him and it breaks my heart that he will not live forever. Anyways let's think happy thoughts about him, he has been acting strange for the past couple of weeks. He was not eating and he only eats one type of food that he likes, I was really worried about him because he also seemed sad and distant. I thought the move took a toll on him because we are living somewhere else now but this Saturday I took him to the vet. When I made the appointment they kept asking me is he sick? is he vomiting? does he use the litter box? and I didn't know if he was sick and everything else is fine it's just that he was not eating. I went in with him for the appointment and you guys he was so sweet, so gentle, so courageous... As I say this tears are falling down my eyes; think about someone you love the most and imagine that person going through a difficult time it hurts to think about it right? well this is how I felt.

The Dr. told me that he looks fine and that he is still adjusting to the move which is what I kind of expected but I wanted to make sure that was the only problem. I love him so much it hurts and he knows that now. At first he used to scratch me a lot, scream at night (such a brat!) he doesn't do that anymore I think he knows that I don't like that. He's growing into an exceptional tom cat, he is sweet, friendly, brave, gracious, clean, affectionate at times (it's getting better guys ! he let me carry him for longer time now) can be gentle and so cute when sleeping... The Dr. gave him so anxiety medication but I only give it to him at night if necessary because I don't want to give him medication like that, I prefer to keep it all natural. Archie is growing up he is still a kitten but he's getting big.

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2021-07-19T14:36:36+02:00

Interlude.

Publié par Gaelle.R 19 Juillet 2021 à 02:36 PM

"That day when you thought I was doing too much I was just excited to be in your presence but I was not allowed to tell you how happy you made me."

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2021-07-18T18:16:06+02:00

Moody

Publié par Gaelle.R 18 Juillet 2021 à 06:16 PM

smiling and laughing,

suddenly a dark cloud appears over my head

and all I want is to disappear.

I want to run and cry

but they will not understand.

They want my life,

they want my face

they want to replace me.

If only they knew,

spend one day in my shoes and you'll pity me.

They think I always want to look glamorous that's why I stay silent...

if only they knew what was going through my head.

At night when I fall asleep my dreams haunt me,

torture me as I fall into REM cycle.

I want to wake up from this life,

where I remain a prisoner of my feelings.

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2021-07-15T16:24:33+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 15 Juillet 2021 à 04:24 PM

Salut tout le monde,

Aujourd’hui je vais mettre le focus sur la dépression je sais que c’est pas du tout un sujet géniale mais il faut en parler parce qu’il y a beaucoup de gens qui souffrent et ils ne savent même pas comment s’en sortir de leurs période de dépression.

En faite je ne pense qu’on peut guérir la dépression du jour au en lendemain, on peut se battre pour rester fort mais on ne peux pas complètement s’en passer. Parfois le fait d’être déprimé ne veux pas dire qu’on reste chez soi, qu’on pleure tout le temps et qu’on est triste tout le temps; pas du tout parfois la dépression resemble à quelqu’un qui se lève pour aller travailler, qui s’habille très bien, qui sourit tout le temps et qui parle a tout le monde mais au fond il y’a un grand vide à l’intérieur et je pense que ces gens là ont besoin beaucoup d’attention, d’aide et de soutien.

Il faut arrêter de dire à quelqu’un qui est déprimé qu’il n’a pas de raison d’être triste ou de se sentir si mal. La dépression c’est pas juste un sentiment c’est une maladie et si quelqu’un souffre d’une dépression sévère elle doit voir un médecin pour se faire traiter. J’insiste à tout le monde d’avoir beaucoup de compassion envers les gens qui souffre de la dépression, ne les moquent pas et surtout ne sois pas méchant avec eux…

Je sais de quoi je parle.

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2021-07-14T20:21:42+02:00

some tips.

Publié par Gaelle.R 14 Juillet 2021 à 08:21 PM

I am not a fitness guru but I realize the reason why I lost interest in working out because I was doing the opposite of these things. I will list a few tips to help both you and me to stay on track.

When you're working stop thinking constantly about the body that you want. Reason why I say this is because you're body will not change overnight you will need to put in the work, the dedication and to be patient to see results. You can have an ideal body goal and weight but after you work out stop stressing about why your body is not changing fast enough.
Work out to see what you're body can really do and push pass that limit each time. Yes work out so you can celebrate what your body can do, force yourself when you are tired because in the long haul you will be happy that you didn't stop.
Make workout fun. Listen to your favorite songs, Find a fun routine and change it up each time you're getting comfortable because you need to switch things up to get the results.
if you are lifting weights have rest days in between. Do not lift weights everyday you will stress and possibly tear your muscles. Have a day in between where you relax or get a massage to help with the muscle soreness.
stop comparing your body or your fitness journey to someone else. Literally if you go on Instagram looking at girls or guys who have the body that you want that can discourage you to see those people have that body naturally or through surgery. The main focus should be on your workout routine and your persistence.
Don't just workout eat healthy as well. I am working on this but I am proud of myself for only eating the things that I cook and not eating out anymore. Have a meal prep and do research about what types of food you should be eating to get to your ideal weight and size.
Drink lots of water. When you work you sweat a lot and those are the water that your body was storing for you so replace that loss by drinking more water.
Push yourself. When you want to stop that's when the body is feeling the burn so keep going you're just getting started.
take walks. If you lift weights take walks on those rest days just so you can stretch your legs out and don't forget to go hiking now that the weather is hot.
Last but not least be kind to yourself, workout for your own pleasure don't do it to please others also watch videos about different workouts on youtube!

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2021-07-13T17:11:44+02:00

thoughts.

Publié par Gaelle.R 13 Juillet 2021 à 05:11 PM

Hey guys,

I just wanted to remind you all of a couple of things, I will list them into bullet points to make it easier to read and for you to get it straight from the horse's mouth.

It's ok to change your career. When we are in our late teens we often have an idea of the career path we want to take but as we get into our 20's the career we want may be completely different which is fine because what we desire in life always change as we get older, what is not fine is for you to stick with a career that you're loathe and for you to stress about a job that you don't even want to show up for but you do it because of your bills. People make it look like it's so terrifying switching major or your career, at the end of the day you really have to sit down with yourself and to figure out what's best for you because believe me no one else feel the way that you do about your own life and no one else can live your life for you. Go ahead change your career path, go back to school if you have to or take those courses to get your license because in the future you will be glad that you are not stuck at that old job you hate.
Not everyone is your friend. You can tell who your friends are and you can pretty much see who is there to take a look at your life just so they can feel better about themselves. As you get older your circle will get smaller and that is fine because as an adult you have a job, you may have a business to run and places to be basically you are no longer worried that you don't have anyone to play with you at the park. Make sure you know who your friends are because those people genuinely care about you, they want the best for you, they make sacrifices for you, they will help you and most importantly they will always check up on you.
Work in silence. The biggest mistake one can make is to have a premature dream and to tell the whole world about it before they even start working towards making that dream a reality. Be quiet about your dreams, work in silence because when you tell everyone you kind of give people the right to tell you all of the cons and why you will not succeed whereas if you had stayed quiet and simply work hard you would've been further into making that dream see the light of day. You can speak to the right people who are already living your dream to learn what step they took and all of the things that they did or learned when they first started on the path that you want to take. You just have to keep that dream quiet from the naysayers, always remember to stay positive because the beginnings are always hard and you will most likely make a ton of mistake when you first start

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