No bread will ever be baked from this dough

2020-11-26T03:42:26+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 26 Novembre 2020 à 03:42 AM

Even though I am experiencing writer's block or at least I thought I was; I really thought I couldn't write anymore until I wrote that piece earlier. I wasn't doing too well but now I am doing okay and I am happy that I realized that I could still write despite all the things going on inside my head. I usually stop writing when I don't want to feel anything but I am tired of being numb. I am not sure if I am ready to feel the pain but I am willing to give it a try even if it kills me...

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2020-11-26T03:10:35+01:00

things

Publié par Gaelle.R 26 Novembre 2020 à 03:10 AM

Three words that I want to say "sick of it", yes sick of the illusion that things could be different.

Things are right just the way they are even when I cry.

I am supposed to cry to grow from the pain and turn it into power.

Things are right when I scream and want to run away.

I am supposed to scream because emotions are meant to be felt and screaming is one way to feel it.

Things are right when I wake up alone and scared.

I am supposed to know what being scared feels like so I can feel safe when the timing is right.

Things are right when I lose things.

I am supposed to lose things because that is the only way they can be found again.

Things are right when I sit in the dark overthinking.

I am supposed to overthink so I can figure out what step I should take next.

Things were right when I met you.

I was supposed to meet you even if you were going to hurt me.

Things are right when my heart is breaking.

I am supposed to feel my heartbreaking because that is the only way I can feel it being put back together.

Things are right when I disappear.

I am supposed to disappear because nothing changes when I come back.

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2020-11-21T16:17:01+01:00

worse and best thing that could ever happened to you... go.

Publié par Gaelle.R 21 Novembre 2020 à 04:17 PM

What’s the worse thing that could happen to you?

The worse thing that could happen to me is realizing that I told someone too much because I am the most private person ever. If I’ve opened myself to you that means I trust you and I don’t just trust “anyone”. You would have to make me feel comfortable and prove to me that I could trust you. Either way that’s the worse thing that could happen to me.

The best thing that could happen to me?

The best thing that could happen to me would be a place for me to be myself without anyone trying to change me because I always meet people who are trying to tell me who I should be while I am already a whole human being. Don’t confuse “a place to be myself” as accepting all my wrongdoing without anyone pointing it out to me no that’s enabling and I don’t want anyone to let me be at my worse when I could be at my best. What I mean is to feel like I can just be my rawest self without having to polish anything. Where is that place? send me now!

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2020-11-18T02:16:34+01:00

fun facts about me.

Publié par Gaelle.R 18 Novembre 2020 à 02:16 AM

Often times I forget to say "HI" don't take it personally I do that to everyone and no I'm not trying to ignore anyone, It's just a bad habit of mine.
I don't like being compared to anyone or anything because we can all agree that I am unique. I do believe that we are all different in our own ways. Which is why you shouldn't compare my uniqueness to anyone.
I do not like long small talk or I'll start to feel uncomfortable. I will discuss the weather but that's as far as I will go.
I don't like excuses, it annoys me.
I am either a chatty box or quiet as a mute there's no in-between unless I'm at work.
I always appear to be shy but actually, I'm not. To go into details I know I am not shy because I am not afraid to talk to strangers. I can speak in public I just can't control my nerves. I am not afraid to talk to anyone, although I am soft-spoken and I can speak at low volume when I am nervous but I am not shy. If anyone knows anything that I can take to calm my nerves please tell me.
when I want something I am going to do it no matter what only a truck or lightning could stop me and even then I would still try!
I do not like being bothered when I am relaxing especially not on a Sunday!
I love being alone, It's weird I know but that's how I like it.
I love art and I would spend all my coins on a good portrait.

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2020-11-16T05:41:56+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 16 Novembre 2020 à 05:41 AM

"I would rather adjust my life to your absence than adjust my boundaries to your disrespect."

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2020-11-16T05:38:09+01:00

Isolation.

Publié par Gaelle.R 16 Novembre 2020 à 05:38 AM

Honestly, I am not sure if I should be giving tips on how not to feel isolated because I am the living proof that a human can live life being isolated. Although, it is not a good thing and I don't want any of you to feel isolated even if we are social distancing at the moment. I can say that all of us have been away from a lot of things and some of us have found a balance but I haven't found that balance yet.

As an introvert, I am struggling although I do not need social interaction all the time but I still need some I mean we all need human interaction. It's becoming draining for me to even socializing for a little, I don't want to be a Debbie downer but still how am I going to keep my energy up? Most of the time I do give a few tips here and there but that is one thing that I am currently struggling with right now. I will find a balance but It might be taking a while.

One thing I know for sure when you hit rock bottom the right people will be right there with you.

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2020-11-16T05:14:32+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 16 Novembre 2020 à 05:14 AM

hey there,

I've been really busy, I haven't really had some leisure time. I don't mind that I am busy but being on my feet for a long period of time makes my feet hurt and now I need a massage. I am sure that other people have more serious problems than not getting a foot massage but I felt really compelled to write about that because I wish someone could give me a massage.

Everything aside, I love being busy. It gives me a purpose because I am not just sitting there overthinking. It is really not a good idea to overthink things because soon enough you are going to come up with problems that aren't really there. Life is not as complicated as it seems although things can get tough but it's not the end of time.

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2020-11-10T04:28:44+01:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 10 Novembre 2020 à 04:28 AM

"The world is hard enough for me to be on a battlefield fighting with you.

My problems weigh too much on my shoulders to let you marinate my heart with nonsense.

My music is way too loud for me to hear your lies.

If I left in peace without saying a word when you least expected it just know I'm not coming back."

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2020-11-10T02:59:17+01:00

November obsessions.

Publié par Gaelle.R 10 Novembre 2020 à 02:59 AM

hey there,

I know some of you may think this is just ridiculous or even unnecessary but this is, in fact, my blog and I find some of my obsessions funny. Well for the month of September it was lip glosses which is funny to me because no one is going to see my lips under the mask but I wear lip glosses for me. Last month was mugs because I love tea, actually, I don't know what's funny about that but the fact that I have more than 3 mugs to drink tea and I only pick one every night (lol)

Well, this month it's phone cases, I went overboard! it didn't cost much. Right now I have a picture of a cat on my phone case because being a cat mom is all I want.

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2020-11-08T21:43:15+01:00

Interesting questions.

Publié par Gaelle.R 8 Novembre 2020 à 09:43 PM

staying in or going out?

I love staying home to relax but I like going out too. I like to keep it balanced, I don't like staying home for too long but lately, I find myself having more fun when I'm home.

beer or a glace of wine?

I don't drink alcohol anymore for personal reasons but If I had to pick one it would be a glass of wine.

have you found the one?

well yes, I have found the one, I am the one.

what's your biggest life upgrade?

Falling in love with myself and not caring about what anyone else is thinking about me. Ever since I've been focusing on myself, my goals, and my well-being I've been happier even if there's a lot of bad things going on I am still happy.

do you ever feel lonely?

At the beginning of quarantine yes but not anymore. I became more comfortable with myself and being alone which is why alone time is extremely important for me now.

some things that I do to not feel lonely.

I focus more on the future than the past. Whatever happens with whoever doesn't matter anymore because it is not happening now nor will it happen again in the future.
I sleep early because I realize when I stay up late at night I overthink and I reminisce about things that don't matter anymore.
I focus on the good things in life and I try to do all the things that I enjoy doing.
I don't sit around and feel sorry for myself.
I don't get jealous or annoyed about other people's romantic lives. That is their business and I wish them well.

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