No bread will ever be baked from this dough

2016-12-16T03:30:54+01:00

TBH

Publié par Gaelle.R 16 Décembre 2016 à 03:30 AM

Hi there ! I say hello way too much I feel like i'm walking around always answering the phone like "HELLO" LOL it was a joke guys ! the least you can do is laugh as if it was funny. I mean some of y'all have a straight face all the time and it actually scares me. I cannot deal with serious people because then I become serious and that's not good. I mean I become one of the scariest people and truly I think i'm not. I can be tho but not when I am not bothered. The reason why I am sharing this is because some of you who have met me probably think I am rude, mean, detached or whateva well I am none of these things well maybe I don't get too attached to people but I am not rude or mean because I am not around people. Some people like to be alone. I don't like it but loneliness likes me. I am not always alone but I am sometimes.

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2016-12-15T02:04:32+01:00

just to clarify.

Publié par Gaelle.R 15 Décembre 2016 à 02:04 AM

Hello ! how is everything going? for me I would just say that life is just getting at me with all of these final exams. But I have to get through them because I have big dreams and all of them require me going to school. But I am not here to talk about school how boring is that? am I right !well recently I have been writing a different way here. And so it seems, I always write like that maybe not publicly because I do not share my private/intimate works with the whole world. I am learning that I have to be able to publish them because that would be my signature code in writing. They would be my style of writing...you know. What I don't share with you guys are so much more. I am not ready to post that part of me yet. I have to wait until I get my own copyright I cannot leave my work unprotected. Anyways what I wrote a while ago. To answer some questions NO I am not in love. I like to write about love because it's such a wide topic. what I wrote is about a person and I am not in love as you would say but that person is very special. I am still who I am...nothing has changed.

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2016-12-13T03:03:15+01:00

hell of a feeling.

Publié par Gaelle.R 13 Décembre 2016 à 03:03 AM

stay right here, lay beside me. Don't turn on the light. In the dark I can see you clearly for who you are. I have enough of the light I want to see you right next me. Your shadow keep going away slowly. I want want to hold on to it but I don't know what to do if I were to catch it. It's hard to breath when you're so close. I look into your eyes and I can see the deepest part of your soul. I wanted to go away with you where the sun shine brighter, where everything is greener. I don't know such place but with you everything is right.

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2016-12-13T01:37:43+01:00

after.

Publié par Gaelle.R 13 Décembre 2016 à 01:37 AM

hello. What I wrote last night is not something that just came in my mind I was thinking about it for some time, I just didn't know how to express it. I don't know what some of you think after reading it and I am not sure I know what to think after writing it all I know is I am happy that I wrote it. I don't care about other people's opinion If I did I wouldn't post it. I just... No words. It means a lot to me. Some of you may not understand but that's okay this is not for everyone.

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2016-12-12T06:05:18+01:00

Broken soul.

Publié par Gaelle.R 12 Décembre 2016 à 06:05 AM

I see you and I know that you can see me. I wonder what I should do to make you really see me for who I am. Maybe I am still confused about the person that I am. But I know that you see something. I don't know what it is. They say tell your secrets before someone else find it and tell it for you. But even if someone else tells my secrets or I do it instead it will still be out there. They can do whatever they want with it. It's pretty much the same. They'll know my secret either way. I am willing to give you a chance because I believe that there is something there that you don't see. I don't know how many times I can keep on giving you these chances because you keep making the same mistakes that I told you you didn't need. You look me in the eye and tell me that I am right to do exactly what I told you not to do. I thought you were broken so I didn't say anything for a while. But now I know that this is the only thing you know. You only know how to be broken and you won't let me fix you. All I want is for you to be happy. Not those pretend laughs and smiles because don't forget that I see you and I know all the little things that you don't think other people see. The friends you have who you think know you because they spent so much time with you well I'll say that I know you better. It scares me to see you keep on being broken because I want to fix you. I want the best for you and you don't even know that.I don't know how to tell you because I know it won't matter to you. I am sure that you've heard this before. I am sure you heard them calling your name, over and over again. Yes I am sure you know that some people are scared for you but you don't know that I am too. I hate to be the one to save you because no matter how hard I try you still don't want to be save. I look at you I see the same eyes, the same people but I don't see the sparks that I usually see in the eyes of those people who have hope. I wish you could let it go, I hate that you've been judged for something that you are not. They see you different because you act this way, They don't know but I know. I would tell you to hush and to let me take care of it but I am afraid that you hate it when I try to take over. I know that you don't want to tell everyone. I know that you keep it a secret and I know that you keep my secret with you. I told you some things and I hope you keep it to yourself. Every time I see you I just cannot help but stare I hate to see so much wealth go to waste. I wish I wasn't the only one who really saw you. I know that they ignore you. Don't you ever wonder why I don't ? I don't know what you have running in your head but I care about you. In ways where I can identify with you. I know you push some thoughts away when you see me. You've been in my head so much that I feel like I have been in yours for some time.I feel like I live there like you live in mine. I wonder what you do when it happens? I don;t know what to do because I don't know what this is. Maybe I care to much and maybe I want to be there so bad that I force myself to stay away. Because if I were to stay it wouldn't be the way I imagined it. I am afraid to mess things up and I know that you do too. It's hard to stay focus when you have so many thoughts running around in your head. I know there are scars under your skin but who am I to say that you are the only one who has them. But yours speak to me they tell me to stay close because something better is waiting to heal your scars I wanted to be there when they heal. But I don't know If I will be there maybe I don't have to stay to see the finished product. Perhaps I am doing all this work to make it easier for someone else.I wish I could be the one to see the result but from the way that I see us going I don't think I'll be around. Maybe You don't want me around but know that I wanted to stay and help you. But I feel like you pushing me away sometimes. If you didn't and If I could only stay I would have but I have a choice here. I can't stay and let you hurt me like that. Because I want to heal you. If I am broken too then I won't be able to heal you, I would need to be healed and you would have to help me. I know that you can't help me. I have to stay strong for you. You need me more than I need you. I know that you don't think so and that's okay. I can see in your eyes that you are not sure about a thing. I am not sure either. But one thing I know for sure is that I will listen to you, I will be there whenever you need me. I am not worried about the look of other people anymore. I know that they can see something between us. I know that they are wondering what it is that we have and maybe they try to define it or put a label on it. But what we have is an infinite bound. I would go where you go and somehow I feel like you would go where I go too. Although I am not sure if you will follow me even though I am willing to follow you. But that's ok because it's part of the healing process. I know that You don't always have the positive thoughts and I know that you don't see some things the way I see them. I am not forcing you to see it my way. I am not trying to change you I already accept you for who you are.

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2016-12-11T05:39:41+01:00

Hint taken...

Publié par Gaelle.R 11 Décembre 2016 à 05:39 AM

Hello ! two days in row LOL I must be feeling some type of way. Well I don't have any announcement to make yet and I think before I make any huge updates I would check with my closest people. Truly I am sitting here contemplating life and seeing how ridiculous some people are. Some things was said and I am thinking about how stupid it was. I am so mad of how lightly people react I mean the things that I think is a big deal for me is someone "everyday life" I just hate it. I like to keep things new, fresh and certainly not light. I am sure you still don't know what I am talking about but please bare with me I am doing my best to get to the point. Well if someone were to ask someone out it should be serious right? it shouldn't be something you do everyday because you have not asked the person out yet... some people not me y'all know my situation and it is no secret I am open about it. I embrace that I am happily single and looking forward to it because let's face it I don't see any guy out there that are in fact serious. I want to think that I'll be ready some day in fact I don't know when... I am talking for the ladies who want to go out with a guy and he is being childish. He's probably not the one for you if none of you guys can bring yourselves to ask each other out am I wrong? You can tell me if I am wrong I just think most of the time we settle for the love we think we deserve that doesn't mean we truly deserve it.

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2016-12-09T12:00:06+01:00

cultured.

Publié par Gaelle.R 9 Décembre 2016 à 12:00 PM

Hello ! it's like 5 am and I should be sleeping but I am here because I guess I love to be here with you (aww) I can almost hear you saying that through the screen. I think It's cold outside I didn't go yet. But before I go I want to discuss something with you. It would be more of an opinion rather than a statement.

Well I am sure that you are well aware by now that I am going to say what other people don't think I was going to say. I believe that If you don't have a positive thing to say then it's better to keep your mouth shut but I never heard that you shouldn't write it !! LOL I am going to write it trust me. The person who Is going to marry me will have a lot to handle LOL I can imagine how it's going to be. He would ask me a simple question as "you ok? " and I would be like "fine" with a hint of attitude of course and he will be like I don't think so and I would say " whatever " and walk away LOL. Then somehow after a while I am fine again and laughing so all is forgotten and so it seems. LOL it's only when he comes here on my blog or found my notebook I just hate the word diary It sounds like a children type of book and trust me it won't be for children so I am going to call it my special notebook. When he find it he is going to take it without telling me spend the whole day reading it and still not understand but some pages will be very direct and he will find out what he did three months ago LOL I mean It was not ok. I only yell when it's extreme (it's not a pretty side) You would never expect me to yell for something so stupid like a toothbrush but really it's not about the toothbrush it's about what you did you fool hahahaha

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2016-12-08T16:03:28+01:00

Your name.

Publié par Gaelle.R 8 Décembre 2016 à 04:03 PM

I hear your name echoes in my head and I wonder how long have I been deaf to it.

Perhaps I didn't want to hear it, yet I can't ignore it.

Something about your name calms me down.

I don't know what is it but hearing each syllables give me the serenity that I need.

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2016-12-07T01:59:47+01:00

(...)

Publié par Gaelle.R 7 Décembre 2016 à 01:59 AM

they don't know about us

if they know it wouldn't be this special.'

Seeing the smile on your face is what I look forward to.

Wish you knew how much You mean to me,

but I can't tell you and they mustn't know.

If only you could hear the words I don't say.

If only you could see what my eyes aren't showing.

If only...

But You don't know and there's nothing I can do.

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2016-12-06T16:37:54+01:00

check in

Publié par Gaelle.R 6 Décembre 2016 à 04:37 PM

hello !

how is everything? well my life is alright I hope yours is too. I am sorry if I seemed distant lately I don't mean to be but life is not always fair and sometimes you just have to sit and think what gone wrong. I am not ignoring you I probably did not even see you and I am sorry if you think that I am being mean lol I am apologizing because I think you think that I am mean ?!! who does that? LOL well you've enter a world full on crazy. Enjoy your stay and have a look around. Man I am soooooooooooooooooooooooo Tired aren't you? I don't know if it's the thought but honestly I feel so dramatic when I think about sleeping. Yet I don't want to sleep !! I just wanna write and write until my hands hurt. That never happens before but my hands can get weak from holding a pen for too long LOL anyways I just wanted to post something I haven't done that in a while so here I am writing this as I procrastinate on my English final paper... I will get back to it, it's no big deal If I put my mind into it I can finish it in 10 minutes. But I want to take time doing this one because it's my final one I want it to be the one. I am writing about the worn path that story I told you about a couple days ago. I love that story. There is soooo much to it I mean it's not just about love it's also about guilt I am now realizing that now. I mean what can I say Love is Love and there is nothing to say.

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