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2015-11-06T04:23:23+01:00
PS. ugh...some of you are thinking that I might be in love with someone because of the poems but nope I always write poetry like that. Old feeling came to the surface again what can I say I love romance and NO i am not in love. If I were my poem would be hidden. I'm just deep *sometimes.
2015-11-06T04:09:33+01:00
Hello it took me a while to come back (I know ) but I'm sure you didn't notice and you were very busy. So back to relationships...like I said nothing personal I'm going to be general about this subject I don't want to have to justify myself. Besides I don't want to give you too much ideas...anyway let's talk. I think relationships are important because we cannot be alone all the time (as much as some of you might want to at some time) Yeah... I like to be alone sometimes and I bet some of you want to and it is most likely that some of you cannot be alone all the time. It's probably good if you have a relationship with someone and you don't have to be alone all the time. I'm not telling you to find someone if you don't have that "someone" nope...rather what I want to say is being alone is not always right. Well you get to know yourself better but don't you want to know other people? I like meeting new people because you get that special feeling like you're doing something new...I'm always meeting someone new all the time but that does not mean anything if I don't proceed with being friends with them...back to relationships some types are toxic they make you feel...bad or not good in yourself. You should be able to get away from these types of relationships I don't know them very well...but I think when you're in that situation you're just blind like you only see the person in front of you and all of the darkness is hidden. you have this picture perfect in your head and You're lying to yourself like she/he would never do this, she/he will change. But they won't...sometimes they do change but only after your heart is broken and you have nothing else inside...wow it was not meant to be this deep. I have been thinking about types of relationships and I found many...I remember at my school there was this one girl she had a boyfriend and they were fine at least they look fine. But they were not. He was not the right guy for her that is all I'm going to say. I was not going to talk about boyfriend/girlfriend relationships only but these days all the young people are more interested in that. I'm also interested but I'm only here to tell you my opinions you can shut the screen or exit out this page if you don't agree. I don't think someone should give their all to someone it's just too risky don't you think? and then what? what if you change your mind or worse what if they change their minds? we often think this is it, she/he's the one ...and then suddenly you realize you're wrong. Back to other types of relationships family...some of you have big families...mine is small. But I have some friends that are like family too after my actual family...I think families are meant to be HOME what I meant is families are supposed to be the one that support you, love you first (so you won't go crazy when someone else claim they love you) families are suppose to be a shield from the outside world. Family is supposed to be the one you think about first. Because they do come first. Anyway...have a good night. sleep well hope to see you soon.
2015-11-03T02:02:48+01:00
Hi there ! Are ya doing? well I'm darn tired...But we should talk tonight. I'm still adapting with the time change today I barely woke up on time. How are you adjusting with this crazy time? I bet you're doing much better than me. I can only guess since you don't want to tell me anything. I'm glad you are here and I'm not forcing you to participate. What should we talk about tonight? there are many things we could talk about...let see how about relationships? I am not going to tell my relationship status just like you don't have to tell me yours. I am not going to talk about boyfriend or girlfriend but rather what relationship is really about...it can be with anyone you want, your parents, your sibling...well what is it really about? I think the main thing is TRUST without it none of the person involve can live well together. I also think honesty is important...some people just lie to you and they are forgetting that one day the truth will come out. Throughout this blog you may have notice a few things about lies...it's nothing personal I like to write about it. I'm thinking about what I know about relationships...but my mind is blank (*I am exhausted) maybe I should come back tomorrow and tell you
ps. Hold on tight.
2015-11-01T16:59:06+01:00
As the sun rise from above
I think of you as if you were not always on my mind
day and night I think of you
there is nothing more I want then to see you all the time
When that day comes and I will see you
I will never let you go
Until then your place is right there in my mind
I will wait forever for you
You have my heart without you I can't work properly
Like a device that needs a charge batterie to stay on
i need your presence to keep on going
I will see you soon
tonight in my dreams
you are always there
you never fail to make it on time
you never miss a date
you know everything I was not able to tell you
when that day comes and I can be with you finally
all of my dreams will come true
I gave you my heart,
and I will never take it back
You have my whole life in your hands
You have my breath, my soul, my smile and my pain
You have everything that no one else has
For you i will wait an eternity
Death can come and take me
but I will wait for you
until you come and rescue me from the underground
You know where I am
I know where you are
Yet we can't see each other
I know you can see me
but I cannot see you
You've been watching me all my life
You know everything about me...
I try to know you like you know me
but i'm not quite there yet
Because you made me who I am
I would have to be there when you made me
to know you like you know me
I would have to live next to you
even though I can speak to you
I want you to tell me something.
even if you don't I will wait for you until the end
because you are my everything.
2015-11-01T16:31:53+01:00
Morning ! I usually write every night but last night I was busy and it was Halloween night !! How did you celebrate? I did not celebrate but I know some of you might have. Well this morning let's talk about Sunday morning since it's morning and Sunday... before like in the beginning of the year through June it used to be the bacon morning with lots of pancakes, french toast with my niece and nephews...it was fun we used to watch a movie while eating breakfast and we would laugh and just act like the characters usually it's cartoons. What do you do on Sunday mornings? well now honestly I do nothing and just watch movies online. Do you ever miss someone near you? They are right there but you still miss them...it happens to me a lot, right now I miss my niece and nephews I have not seen them in a while I wonder what they are doing...do you have a niece or a nephew? do you always have that constant feeling to protect them and cherish them? I do I think I would do anything for them...they are like so close do you know what I mean? (I bet not) they are like your sibling daughter or son...my niece is like a little version me. I bet you have someone that's like a little or big version of you if not you should look deeper we all do. This morning...I miss her very much. I'm listening to a sad song perhaps that is why...do you ever listen to a song and you suddenly miss anyone that are not in your life anymore like that guy from 6 years ago or that girl you saw 2 years ago on the train! seriously it's scary...so back to sunday morning I'm going to say how I think one should spend a sunday morning and you should tell me how you would spend it (if you want to) well I think you should sleep in until 10 AM and then you wake up brush your teeth...then make breakfast but not alone (I hate to make breakfast alone) If you have kids at your house perfect usually kids love breakfast so they'll be jumping all around and you would sing with them...after you serve and then you could all go watch a funny movie or show (wow that's what I used to do) anyway you're not me do your thing but sundays are meant to be lazy until you have a serious job and goodbye sundays and hello working. I just have an Idea because I did not write anything yesterday I'm going to write something else but you will see it on top of this one but whatever just thought you should know ! Do you like sundays?? I do !! happy sunday
2015-10-31T03:04:11+01:00
Hi ! how was your day? my day was amazing I did a few things that made me happy that by the end of the day I was sad.It's now the time where many of you are celebrating Halloween, do you celebrate it? most of you are coming out in costumes and doing crazy things just for fun. I don't know why we do these things, But it looks fun on the outside. I don't celebrate halloween but I like to see the costumes maybe I could still dress myself as a cat anytime of the year. Not only on halloween but that's what I think some of you love halloween and I cannot tell you otherwise. I'm not here to tell you what you can and cannot do. Truth is we all have a choice and I have the choice not to celebrate halloween while deep down I love the idea of dressing myself as a cat. All of us have fantasies and this is one of my crazy ones. What do you want to be? (not only on halloween but deep down) if you say a career I will not judge you. We all want something and you don't have to tell me what that is. But why do you believe in halloween? the whole idea seem fake. Why do you have to wait all year just to pretend to be someone else? well I choose to be my own self on halloween and if you want to be spiderman, catwoman, satan (really?) anyway it's your choice and I will not say anything. It's good that you stand for something because some of you fall for anything because you don't stand for anything. I hope you keep your voice loud because other people are trying to be heard too. You're not the only one trying hard out here. Tomorrow many of you will come out in your costume and you will act like that person...is it fun? I have enough trouble acting as myself how do you do other people? or maybe you don't really try to be like someone else because you cannot. You are yourself and everyone else are themselves. Let's be honest halloween might be fun but most of us don't really know the whole concept. What if it was evil? have you thought about that? I have and because I could not understand what halloween stood for I told myself to stay far away from it. If I don't know the meaning of something I will not follow it because I don't want to be following the devil. Maybe you should tell me how you really feel about it because I like other people's opinion. If you want to share anything with me feel free to do so I'm a very open minded person. even though I look though on the outside don't be afraid to tell me what you think. Let me tell you something, before I could not find out who I wanted to be and I think many of you struggle with this. If you are in college and you don''t really know your major then you know what i'm talking about. Well I thought I would just grow into someone just like that.I thought I could just grow into a nurse but that is not how it works. What you want has to be build on something. What you want to be on halloween is it build on something? I'm sure it's built on a movie, book, music or anything popular. Anyway have fun tomorrow and don't eat to much candy (it's bad for your teeth as you already know) *just a reminder. Good night angels...
2015-10-30T01:13:22+01:00
Hey guys ! today was a nice day in New England It hasn't been this warm in a while. Anyway we are not here to talk about the weather we have many things to talk about. First of all why don't we talk about music tonight? Well I listen to all kinds of songs hip hop, RNB, slow...everything any languages. It's a world full of many culture, I like Indian songs it's so calm and relaxing sometimes they are quite loud but in a good way. But let's talk about American music where all the rules are being broken, I still can't believe I listen to them even though I'm criticizing LOL I mean sometimes they are so catchy it's hard to get away from them. Like I appreciate Akon he has good songs many of them are suitable for young viewers or listeners. In the beginning of this year it was hard for me to find a suitable song to listen to with my 9 years old niece, she likes music (thanks to me) just kidding she just listen to every song that I have been listening to and I had to watch out. I didn't want to be a bad example I wanted to introduce her to good songs like: uncover by Zarra Larson, some Christina Perri songs but it did not take her much time for her to find out about Nicki Minaj, Drake in the end she would be like WHO THAT? WHO THAT? I'M SO FANCY there was nothing I could do. She find out about all the bad songs that I din't want her to listen to at school and she was a 4th grader! It's hard to find a song suitable these days...I wanted to enjoy music with her and we did. we had a lot of fun finding good music besides all the bad songs she had already listen to. Well enough about me and my niece let's talk about you ! You probably have different taste in music but that's fine. I like it when people introduce me to new songs. I love music I have to say every time I write here I'm always listening to music. It inspires me, does it inspire you? I bet it does. When you running and you're listening to a good song that makes you wanna move don't you love that feeling? I don't run but I dance (when no one is watching of course) anyway there are good songs. Do you ever listen to Kat Dahlia? she has a strong voice she's amazing. I listen to rap songs when I'm mad like I was listening to one when I was writing that article about what pisses me off LOL ! wow music does that kinda thing to you it makes you happy, sad, mad and it makes you want to dance even if you're not that good (like me) it's no shame. I'm sure we're good at something else. Songs are good for the brain it gives you that rush it make all the dopamine rushing in best feeling ever. I don't think I can go a day without music can you? I bet you can. I don't know when I became addicted to music...I just can't stop listening to music when i'm doing something with my hands (not with my head, maybe) I wish you could tell me what kind of song you like but if you don't want to share that's fine. I won't force anyone to comment, You know I can see if you visit (hoooo scrary) no i'm serious I know how many visitors I have everyday and you are one of them. I won't know who exactly came but I know someone did. I wish I could but I cannot. So back to music if you wanna tell me what kind of songs you like i'll be happy to know. well good night to you we'll talk more tomorrow. Peace out.
2015-10-29T03:10:05+01:00
Hi there! how was your day? my day was fine thanks for asking ! anyway let's talk. What can we talk about today? I think we should talk about books I know many of you probably don't like to read or don't have time to do it if you're working and at school too. Well I love reading if I don't read I feel empty. I need a story to get through everything and it's so important that I read. You maybe have something you love or you have to do to get through life. Some of you love music, playing instrument (i wish i could play the piano) some of you like to pray because you find strength in God. It's varied a lot of you like different things and I am fascinated by it. I love variety of things cause I get to learn from all of you. What if we talk about books a little? well I cannot say it will be very entertaining for those of you who don't love reading but I promise it won't be boring. There are some books that I read and they do absolutely nothing for me. For example the fifty shades of grey trilogy why did I even bother reading them? no offense James but what were you thinking? and the movie is no better and I'm sorry if you had to watch it. At the time I was reading the books I was going through some hardships and the books were like an escape a bad one if you ask me. I don't recommend you to read them your mind will be deprave of all the good things your parents taught you, you will feel good while reading but when you're done you will just feel empty and ashamed that you've spent all of your time on them. Anyway some books are just bad for our mental health, they make us addicted to them and we get nothing out of them. They make us feel empty at some point and they change our values and the way we think. when I read these books i'm not inspired to write good poems, I will write but I would be slacking. My writing would look different from my usual it's like the book can corrupt my mind. I'm not saying that there aren't any good books, there are however it's rare to find them. So many new authors are coming out and most of the time they write about anything that can sell. The writing industry became like a business you just have to write anything that could sell and people will get addicted so you could keep them buying more. Where are the passion in all this? you know if i would have to publish a book in this condition I would rather write them for my entourage or the people around me. I hate doing something that I'm not happy doing I mean some editors can just butt in and change your whole story telling you, you have to talk about certain things (sexual things) because the young people love that kinda stuff or people love it that's sad. I won't write anything that would ruin my image some people just write anything like fifty shades of grey what's the point here? I won't tell you what the book was about but just know it can corrupt your mind. The whole story was about one thing and that's what had people going crazy ! I feel sad for these people they don't know what a great book does to your mind. Bad books are like junk food and most of us are addicted. I'm not saying I'm any better I have read them that's how I know they are bad. After I read them I felt like I wanted more so I went and search for more (addicted) yes I am addicted to reading but I hope that I could find good books. If I started to count how many books I have read last year and the beginning of this year I would loose count. I started and I got to 90 but I know there are more. Now I would rather read one good book a year than to read 100 bad ones. Books are important but you need to know what to read, don't just go to the library and take anything on the shelf. Look on the back read about the author or the first page of the book. But don't judge the book by its cover but some of them you have to know I mean If you see a girl posing half naked don't you already know what it's gonna talk about? don't be clueless like everyone oh you don't know what the book is going to talk about really? who you fooling? certainly not me I know those stuff...I have been there. This one time I was reading a harlequin and I was very young my mother was like what kinda book is that? you shouldn't be reading this ! i was like no mom there's a little girl in it just like me that's her mom and dad on the cover !! she didn't buy it LOL anyway pay attention to what you're reading. Peace out.
2015-10-28T00:43:25+01:00
The first time I met you,
I thought we could be a team.
I thought you and I could be friends.
I forgot how many hearts you've broken.
I forgot how hard it was for you to love and to accept love.
I didn't know how hard it was for you to let me come into your life.
I got lost into your eyes
they were pale
yet exciting
I could see the fire dancing through them
I saw the good in you
you could see right through me
my heart was wide open
you've never accepted the love you deserve
you never got over the past
you breed it
you see it everyday
but i could only see the future with you
I was lost
You left me there
it was dark and cold
you watch me burned with my love
yet you said nothing
my veins were bleeding their eternal love for you
you could look
but you could not see
I whispered your name
softly
you didn't hear me
my thoughts were loud yet you choose not to listen
They say you were not right for me
but I just couldn't help to look at the forbidden fruit
I knew you were bad
but i thought you could be good one day
I trusted you
and you lied.
2015-10-28T00:20:28+01:00
Life can be hard sometimes and You want to let go. I don't know how you want to let go, some people drown themselves in music, alcohol and other bad substances. But we forgetting that some of us are really letting go. Earlier this year at my school there was a man who came and he was telling us a story about cyber-bullying. It was devastating to see how mean people can be online. The man's son was in middle school and he was being bullied since the 6th grade a boy was hitting him and calling him names so one day he stood up to him and punch him back. They became friends after that, they were fine for a while. Until the boy who was being bullied had a crush on a girl at school and he started talking to her over the summer so she sent their conversation to her friends and they laughed about it. He was being real and he told her how he really felt he thought she liked him. But she was just faking and that hurts his feeling when he finally find out...the bullying started again and they spread rumors about him being gay. They made fun of him online, they create anonymous account to bully him...with all this he never told his parents. Until one day it was too much and he let go...he couldn't handle it. It breaks my heart to see lot of young people that have their whole life in front of them giving up. My teenage years are the hardest years of my life but do you think I will let go? hell no ! LOL I have to publish something first. I believe we all have something that make us feel pain but don't let go it is not worth it there is more to come trust me. Happiness come unexpectedly and we will never know. Last year I will never thought I would be like this today. You don't know what the future hold, don't end your life like this. God created you for a purpose remember that. I don't know if you agree with me but I hope you remember that someone loves you just the way you are and don't ever forget that. After the man came to my school and told us about his son, I was thinking...a lot...it was so tragic. I mean he stood there and he told us about how his son died it takes a lot of courage. He did it for a reason you know. I felt sad when he was telling us this it felt like I was the boy and all of those things were happening to me...i could not stop thinking about it. I'm telling you this because I care about you and I want you to know that everything has a solution even if it seems like the end of the world. It can be fixed trust me. I know that all of us have issues and some of them are harder than someone else's but you need to know we all have problems. I have problems, you have problems and he/she has problems nobody is perfect it's just" a mask to cover up to truth" (quoting one of my poems) I mean you have to know how to handle hardships. you won't be able to do it alone you can pray, talk to someone don't talk to yourself all the time. Sometimes you just need people, I know that I said you could talk to yourself but not all the time. Yes I talk to myself when I have problems but that's when I get a bad grade on a test or when I got into the wrong buss not when I feel depress. Usually when I feel depress I don't talk at all and that's when the psychiatrist comes in and tell me you have to say something otherwise i cannot help you. How do you feel? You have to say how you feel so you can get some help nobody is gonna guess your problem. Sometimes people can guess if you have bruises people can see you have been beating or abused but the hurt doesn't always show. Most of the time we are damaged inside where" nobody look" (my poem LOL) no one will know unless you tell them I'm hurt. I have been through this over and over again sometimes it's just hard to talk about your personal life where the problem is. But you have to tell someone you trust believe me you feel 10 times better. I did. So can you. I hope all of you is well. love you all.
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