My anxiety. I get anxious in huge crowds or in public especially when I feel overwhelmed. Now I just don’t care, oh everyone is staring at me (or I feel everyone staring )and I’m shaking? Who cares it’s a human response when you get anxious. I accepted my anxiety a long time ago and I don’t focus too much on it because when I do that’s when I get panic attacks.
How ocd I am with order and routines. I used to feel so weird because I want things the way that I want them but now I acceptedthat about me and I embrace it. I am a perfectionist! It’s not right unless I do it. I do the same thing every time because that’s my routine and I love that about me because it gives me a sense of control.
Who doesn’t like me. I know that I am weird and my life is unpredictable so I don’t worry about who hates me anymore. I am living one day at a time, I have too much on my plate to worry about that.
Weird things that I do:
Watch a football match then go watch the debrief of the match after with people who also watch the match on YouTube or even I stay on after the match to watch the interviews and see what the commentators have to say! lol someone told me “ you already watch the match why do you need someone else to explain what you already saw” well it’s not that I didn’t understand what happened I want to hear their opinions lol
Often times people think working out is easy when you know what you’re doing and I’ve heard people say “ I don’t work out because I’m not sure how to do it right” it’s not really a valid reason because there a ton of videos online to help. If all else fails you could always get a private trainer, I did it for a while and I realize I learn better alone when I make my own mistakes. I don’t like having a trainer because imagine this: you’ve never worked out a day in your life then you get a trainer for the first time but all he’s doing is pushing you saying things like “give me 15 pushups “ there’s no way I can do that! People who work out for years sometimes can’t do 15 pushups all at once! Personal trainers love to push you past your limit but that’s fine if you’ve been working out for a while but my first day in the gym should not be this intense bro!
Working out is not easy, at times I know what I am doing but I just feel so weak or tired that I can even do 10 reps. I just sit down recover and do 5 reps instead because results don’t come easy. You don’t get a nice body if you are working 2 days a year, you need to keep going even if you don’t feel like it. Each hip thrust, each squats and each deadlift count! Imagine yourself in 2 years with a wagon and a flat stomach. You have to keep going to build muscles and you have to eat properly. Personally I make it a mission to cook more than I eat out. Going to the gym is not easy especially when it’s snowing or raining and you want to stay in your bed but you have to get up and go put that work in if you want a nice body.
I am no longer Flu positive yayyy! I am negative now.
I went to the gym last night and my session was amazing! I can barely walk today because I haven't gone crazy in the gym since last week. My legs are crying out and my glutes are on fire! Tomorrow for my session I will prioritize stretching and upper body :) ugh working out makes me so happy. I could be having a bad day but as soon as I pull up to the gym parking lot, I swear something in me gets soooo excited and I cannot wait to get out the car and start working out. who would've thought? I used to be so scared of the gym and not if I don't go my life, is shambles.
1) If you text me first to ask me how I am doing or to check on me when I never called or even text but I replied to you to let you know how I am doing and you stopped replying to me consider yourself cut off because no one asked you to reach out to me, if I responded to you I also deserve a response. No one is that busy! I can literally picture you scrolling on Instagram and answering other people's text messages. I get it I am not that important to you which I understand but why text me first to only leave me on delivered?! I didn't even reach out to you! YOU DID.
2) Having to explain why I am "so quiet" dude I don't have anything to say! what do you want me to do bark? if I am quiet around you, it's either we've just met (depends), we're not friends or I don't like you.
3) someone asking me "why do you like for example those types of music?" well I don't know maybe because my ears find them to be pleasant?
4) telling me you don't like cats when I mention my cats, what am I suppose to do with that piece of information? what do you want me to do? cry because you hate cats? well I love them, I don't care if you hate them just like you shouldn't care either that I love them.
I can go out now but with a mask, I am not 100% back to my old self and I need to accept that there are some things that I am still not able to do to my full capacity. For example I cannot lift weights the way that I did last week, because I’m still weak from not eating enough.
I am so out of breath and I am not fully fit for strength training, it’s sad and I want to cry because I miss working out but I need to be patient. It’s okay:( I was really sick and my body needs time to bounce back. I am still drinking 64 oz of water daily if not more because my mouth is so dry that I am always drinking water. I am no longer coughing or sneezing as much, I barely have a runny nose basically my symptoms are going away but my body is just sooooo weak and exhausted. I will be okay, I just need to eat nutritious meals and drink plenty of water.
This will be a freestyle again because I am not really sure what to talk about at the moment.So here goes everything I’ve been thinking about all day…
Being sick with the flu those past 4 days taught me that my body has the ability to repair itself. I was really scared at some point because I couldn’t even get up to get water in the kitchen, I didn’t have any strength to do anything. Even my cats were worried they were on the bed next to me staring at me with concerned! because normally when I am in the house I am always doing something! It’s either I’m cooking, cleaning, talking on the phone, listening to music, watching tv or playing video games but it was just dead silence ! I didn’t even bother to turn on the light. Normally I do this when I’m sick or depressed and they know something bad is happening when I react like that. I am so grateful for my cats. My body is repairing itself! My immune system took a big hit but I am glad she was strong enough to bounce back so quickly.
Confidence has nothing to do with the way you look, it’s all about how you view yourself. You could be the most beautiful human being on earth but if you see yourself as someone ugly and you walk around feeling sorry for yourself soon enoughpeople will notice that and they will also start feeling sorry for you. Literally no one cares about what you do! Stop analyzing everything just live your life. Walk straight, keep your head high, never break eye contact when you’re meeting someone for the first time, act like you need to be there and you can be there because no one else is better than you! God sent his only son to die for you! Make your life worth it. Honor the sacrifice that Jesus did for you by loving who you are and also by serving God.
Men know what they want. If a man is telling you “I don’t know I think I want to see how things go” bullshit. He’s just not that into you. Remember what I told you about the animal planet analogy? How a lion goes after a prey? That’s how a man goes after the woman he truly loves. Be patient babe love is coming, it will be your turn one day. Let that guy who’s not sure about you go because somewhere there’sa man who’s dying to meet you. For me I’m not sure if that man was Archie because that cat is obsessed with me lol! He follows me everywhere and I’m not even kidding he’s even staring at me while I am writing this.
The gym is an investment towards your future, working out keeps you healthy and also it keeps you looking young! Keep exercising because when you’re 50 years old you will be glad you started in your 20’s or even your 30’s because it’s never too late to try.
That guy who killed the health insurance CEO is honestly soooo hot! His name is Luigi Mangione ( yeah he’s Italian for sure) the women in the media are going feral for this guy! I mean look at him (I’ll insert a picture for you)
one is not enough 😫
I don’t condone what he did because killing a man is always wrong! But how Can someone this beautiful commit such an horrible crime ?! He should be in jail. What he did was wrong but ugh those genes are wasted. He would’ve made cute babies. I know I wrote about this before and I said I couldn’t stand people using “pretty privilege” to get away with crimes but mannnnnn I have to admit this man get even finer in prison like how?
I’ve had Covid before but this flu is even worse than that! When I had Covid I was only sick for one day and my fever probably lasted 2 hours but with this flu my fever comes and goes every 6 hours after I take my medicine. I took the flu vaccine but unfortunately that wont stop me from getting infected but it will weaken the virus. Flu is no joke! People die from this influenza virus that’s why I always take the flu vaccine. My throat is on fire, I’m exhausted, my head hurts ugh I feel like dying I can barely eat. I manage to eat something yesterday I don’t know about today. I can’t work out and I’m not worried about that because I’m too sick to lift anything heavy. 5 days won’t ruin my hard work I can stay out the gym because I’m way too sick plus I don’t want to get other people sick.
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