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If you want to be happy go to the gym. Want to find a man go to the gym, want to lose a man go to the gym… in other words go to the gym no matter what to get anything you want.
2025-05-17T18:30:45+02:00
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2025-05-16T21:41:59+02:00
Fed up
I am fed up with the Diddy trial!
The defense team is trying to portray that Cassie was a willing participant and that she loved the freak offs because in one text Diddy asked her: when do you want to freak off? cassie said: I'm always ready anytime...
Just because Cassie said that in the text doesn't mean they had consensual sex because at any given time she could have changed her mind, if cassie said stop or remained quiet and not engaging then that's rape!! what she said to her abuser over text cannot prove Diddy's innocence. She said she was scared for her life so she could have said anything to make him happy. In what world would a woman want men peeing in her mouth !! or have sex for hours with different men!!? unless she's crazy which Cassie was never crazy but she was dating a very sick man who didn't care or love her. I am so happy that she seems to find love with her now husband and she's pregnant with her third child.
2025-05-16T15:18:12+02:00
put me in a box to your own detriment.
often times when people see me act different than how they expected me to act they either get annoyed or scared and I don't care, I am just living my life as much as I can.
I am carefree with many boundaries, serious yet funny, shy but confident, quiet but can be loud...I am a walking contradiction. I don't fit in any box! I am who I am lol.
2025-05-16T14:46:14+02:00
luteal phase
I always had a luteal phase but I didn't know about it until I started working out because I became frustrated when I realized how low my energy can be some days of the month. Then I started doing more research like why am I so tired? why do I feel like crying? why can't I lift as heavy today? blah blah and then boom Luteal phase pop up! I was like what the hell!!??? why? then I realize all my life I've had it and most of the time I thought I was relapsing into a depressive episode but nope it was just my cycle ruining everything for me!
I haven't been depressed in a very long time but I have been sad during my luteal phases but that sadness doesn't even last a week so it's not enough days to diagnose myself with depression because it has to be at least 2 weeks with low interest and feeling of hopelessness. During my luteal phase I will start working out early in the morning instead because I have a lot more energy in the morning than in the afternoon during that phase... in the afternoon I just want my bed and a snack.
2025-05-15T20:49:54+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
some things I hate doing...
- I hate blow drying or straightening my hair. I hate to put any type of heat in my hair because I don't want any heat damage. Although my hair looks strong and thick it gets damaged easily, I hate to put her through that much stress. the more heat I put on my hair the more hair I lose and the looser my curls look. I love my tight and thick curls. I probably won't blow-dry my hair ever again for a while. I hate it. I just return the blow-dryer I purchased last month. I don't want any of that stuff. Straightening may hair makes me feel like I am trying to be something that I am not! I am African descent and I have cute Afrocentric features that I love.
- I hate calling people on the phone. I love my family and friends but I hate calling people on the phone, I would rather text.
- I hate watching Anime or Kdrama... ugh I can't stand them they're so corny.
2025-05-14T22:38:17+02:00
Diddy trial
I have been following the Diddy trial and reading the daily trial testimony transcript after each court session and my jaw is on the floor! some people are pure evil! I wish this trial was televised just like the Johnny Depp trial was but this is a federal trial which means FBI brought this case into effect so no cameras are allowed into the courtroom. This trial is way more disturbing than what Johnny Depp's defamation trial was. There's a lot of domestic abuse, human trafficking, freak offs I didn't know this term up until this trial... poor Cassie she must've heard things about Diddy because there's no way she walked into this blindfolded maybe she didn't know just how bad?
she testified on how Diddy would make her sleep with different men while Diddy would watch in the corner and some of these sessions lasted 4 days!!? they urinated on her and among other things I won't get into all of the details. One thing I learn about this trial is that often times the most beautiful women don't know their worth and they let the most random ugly man dictate how they should live their lives. She was so naïve and unaware of how beautiful she is! I literally had a picture of her as my wallpaper on my sony flip phone when I was a kid. she let that man decide everything and she became afraid of him when she was beginning to lose control... men can be evil, just like women too because the Johnny Depp trial showed just how bad women can be but Diddy is on another level. I will be following the case as much as I can because I really want to know what else was going on.
2025-05-13T15:53:12+02:00
inner work part 2
Doing the inner work means focusing on your wellbeing and actively doing the work to change your bad habits, understanding your trauma, going to therapy, creating boundaries, taking a step back when needed, practicing self care, praying to God, journaling, doing research about your attachment style and love languages, knowing your triggers and work on getting them under control.
One of my triggers used to be when someone would ignore me I would actively try to get their attention back because I couldn't stand being ignored, in therapy I learned it was my people pleasing tendency that made me act like that. I have healed that part of myself but it took me some time, when I was little I used to do whatever it takes to make my mom love me because I thought love was supposed to be earn not given. I didn't believe anyone when they would tell me that they love me I used to believe that I had to earn that love. It took me a while to understand what loving someone truly means and that love is not earned at all ! when I understood this and when I saw how much I love my mother and some people who did nothing for me I begin to accept that I didn't have to go above and beyond to make someone love me. Now when someone ignore me or disrespect me I don't take it personal, if I did nothing wrong then I know that their reaction is a response to their own internal battles and that has nothing to do with me. I simply take my attention back and focus on myself and on people who love me. I have nothing to prove to anyone, people will say whatever they want and there's nothing I can do to change their beliefs if they don't want to see me for who I am. You can't argue with someone who can't see reason, you can't chase someone who wants nothing to do with you because the more you cling to them the more they will run away.
Back in 2019 I was broken, after my beloved brother's death on 12/2018 I was completely lost I cried for 6 months straight maybe more. I used to listen to TD jakes, Sarah jakes or any speaker that I thought was speaking life into me. Listening to motivational speakers is not enough you need to do the actual work, you need to actually make more friends, take a walk outside, move your body, find a job, find a purpose, write down what you want, let go of bad habits and replace them with good habits because when you get rid of your bad habits but you don't replace them with something good then new or old bad habits will creep in again. Going to therapy helped me but simply talking about my issues is not enough! I needed to listen to what God was trying to tell me which was " draw close to me and I will draw closer to you" (…) I needed to do the work not simply talk about my problems! I have come really far. The person I was 4-5 years ago is gone, some people will have to meet me again because I am not broken anymore because I've done a ton of inner work. I am not perfect at times my old habits or old ways want to come back but I remind myself that I am not that person anymore. Prayer is a very powerful tool, I don't tell anyone my problems anymore because 9/10 times people dont care or they're happy that they're not going through what you're going through. Stop telling people about your struggles when you haven't found a solution, pray to God instead and talk to someone you trust (don't talk to everyone because outside noises will stray you from the path you need to take)
If you have time to worry about what other people are doing, to cry about the past then you're not busy enough. Rearrange your schedule and add goals for yourself to complete a day. For example: aim to read 10 pages in a book, take at least 5,000 steps a day, work out or take a walk for at least 30minutes, call your family, drink 64 ounce of water depending on your body weight, read 1 chapter in the bible and meditate, journal, sleep 8-7 hours a day...there's so much you can do with your time instead of thinking about the past. You should be exhausted from doing all this that by the end of the day you're ready for bed. If you have time to look for things that aren't serving you then you're not busy enough. As Ephesians 5: 15,16 says " keep strict watch that how you walk is not as unwise but as a wise person, 16 Making the best use of your time, because the days are wicked". Stop spending hours on the phone gossiping, worrying about others, thinking of sad memories... but instead fill your day with positive things. Always remmeber "what you're not changing you're choosing."
2025-05-13T15:39:27+02:00
Inner work
As much as I hate to admit but people on podcast who talks about doing the inner work, to focus on yourself and giving you advise on how take your power back; at times those people are right!
when you focus on what other people are doing and you hang out with people who drain your energy that's not caring about your wellbeing. Those people on podcast who talk about how it's okay to be selfish, to work on yourself, to stop chasing people, to have boundaries and to have self respect can sometimes take it to far... I don't agree with some of their teaching especially the "power of manifestation" I believe if you are manifesting something you are actively asking the universe for something and there are bad spirit in the world of the unknown if you need something just simply ask God. DO NOT LOOK FOR SPELL to make someone love you or to get what you want that's black magic and that's against God's teaching (I never try any of that because I believe there are consequences for anything that you do it will come back 10 folds). There is a fine line between believing you can get whatever you and I will do whatever it takes to get whatever I want. If you need to actively chase something that seems to be unattainable, it could be a person or a job then maybe God is telling you "no" or "not now", just simply let it go and what is meant for you will find you. Do not force anything, let it flow.
*read next article about doing the inner work.
2025-05-12T02:37:06+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
If you have to prove to someone why you’re the right person then you’re not, just simply let them lose you. You have nothing to prove! You’re exactly who you’re supposed to be, you don’t have to change to be right for anyone. So many people are in relationships where they can’t even be themselves, why suffer like this? As a girl if you have to chase a man respectfully just say eww and move on. When a man is acting like he’s too good for me I roll my eyes and find someone way hotter lol. What you’re not going to make me do is chase you. Eww.
I used to chase. I used to tell a man “ I have feelings for you” and “ we should go out” but I’m done. It never worked, when I go to a wedding I never heard the groom says she chased me down and look at us now nah he always says “ I had to try hard to get her, I had to keep chasing her to get this beautiful girl to marry me” men love the chase they don’t like anything easy. If you’re easy he will sleep with you and marry his dream girl.
Men are simple, it was never about how hard you try to get him, all you have to do is exist and he will come to you if he finds you attractive and the more he talks to you then a relationship will build. Now I can’t tell you how to successful get a man because I never have lol … the rest is on you babe.
2025-05-12T00:31:01+02:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
Boundaries
In a world where everything is accessible to us at just a single click away you need to have your own boundaries to keep your sanity.
One big problem most of us have including myself is phone addiction. When you have to check your phone the minute you wake up you should know that is not normal! 30 years ago people didn’t have smartphones how did you think they live their lives? They made plans to see each other in person, not on FaceTime or texting each other all day without any clear plans or useless phone calls. People had stronger connections back in the day because they met each other in person. You can’t have a strong relationship solely based online, eventually you have to meet the person to see if there’s any true compatibility. When you spend hours scrolling on social media you open up your mind to anything whether good or bad. When you don’t have any clear intentions when you are using an app you give the app the power to choose any content for you, most of the time the content we watch poison our minds and confuse ourselves. For example not too long ago I was watching this girl talk about how she slept with 100 men in one day just to be the first woman who slept with the most men in 24 hours! That video was so upsetting to me! I was appalled but I kept watching even though I didn’t agree with any of the things she was saying… at the end of the video I felt bad for her! That emotion came from watching her speak but I didn’t have to feel bad for her because she claimed to be happy that she beat that record! Why should I even care? What we watch on social media can make us accept a lot of things that we wouldn’t have before. For example the lgbt or gay movement, transgender movement, 2 men adopting a baby now most people are accepting of these things and if you don’t they will tell you well get with the program this is what’s trending! Just because everyone is talking about it doesn’t mean you have to agree with it! Just because everyone is doing something doesn’t mean you have to do it too.
I haven’t had notifications on my phone for 4 years now, there’s certain times during the day or at night if you call me you would have to call twice otherwise you simply won’t reach me. I don’t get any text notifications on any app, I have to physically open the app to see what’s going on. I feel less and less anxious not being connected with everyone at all times. If I am friends with you on social media but we’re strangers in real life I won’t watch your story or see any of your post ( I mute everyone I don’t know) I choose to see what I want to see on instagram which is mostly fitness influencers and their workouts or cats lol I am not keeping tabs on anyone. I don’t want to know what so and so is doing that’s where I would start comparing myself to them and I don’t want that. I am happy with where I am in life and I love my journey I don’t need to see what other people are doing.
To combat my phone addiction I started setting a time limit on every social media app some of them are 4 hours a day, 2 hours and when I reach that time I don’t open that app anymore. I have to put my phone down and to either work out, take a walk outside, journal or read a book. The very same people who created smartphones and robot barely use them! They create them, make money and log off ! They are aware of the cons of being addicted to technology. But we can’t even spend 4 minutes without checking our phones! That is sad! When you scroll on social media before bedtime you are more prone to have insomnia, depression, loneliness and lack of motivation. Put that phone away! Some of us would be happier if we simply put the phone down and connect with people in real life. I just started doing that when I’m out with my friends, at a party, at a restaurant my phone is in my purse; I live in the moment. I am happier now because I have a ton of boundaries and I don’t feel bad about enforcing them. For example when I am ovulating I don’t listen to any music that talks about sex because my body crave it at that time and during my luteal phase I don’t listen to any sad music. I have a period tracker app to know when all of those changes are happening to follow my plan. Your brain will believe whatever you tell it to or whatever you keep on doing. If you want to be sad just listen to sad music, think about the past and your brain will trigger you to be sad. If you want to be happy just think about the future and all the exciting things you want to do, listen to happy music and exercise then boom suddenly you’re happy! It’s not rocket science your brain is sort of like a muscle you have to train it to get what you want.