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Boundaries
In a world where everything is accessible to us at just a single click away you need to have your own boundaries to keep your sanity.
One big problem most of us have including myself is phone addiction. When you have to check your phone the minute you wake up you should know that is not normal! 30 years ago people didn’t have smartphones how did you think they live their lives? They made plans to see each other in person, not on FaceTime or texting each other all day without any clear plans or useless phone calls. People had stronger connections back in the day because they met each other in person. You can’t have a strong relationship solely based online, eventually you have to meet the person to see if there’s any true compatibility. When you spend hours scrolling on social media you open up your mind to anything whether good or bad. When you don’t have any clear intentions when you are using an app you give the app the power to choose any content for you, most of the time the content we watch poison our minds and confuse ourselves. For example not too long ago I was watching this girl talk about how she slept with 100 men in one day just to be the first woman who slept with the most men in 24 hours! That video was so upsetting to me! I was appalled but I kept watching even though I didn’t agree with any of the things she was saying… at the end of the video I felt bad for her! That emotion came from watching her speak but I didn’t have to feel bad for her because she claimed to be happy that she beat that record! Why should I even care? What we watch on social media can make us accept a lot of things that we wouldn’t have before. For example the lgbt or gay movement, transgender movement, 2 men adopting a baby now most people are accepting of these things and if you don’t they will tell you well get with the program this is what’s trending! Just because everyone is talking about it doesn’t mean you have to agree with it! Just because everyone is doing something doesn’t mean you have to do it too.
I haven’t had notifications on my phone for 4 years now, there’s certain times during the day or at night if you call me you would have to call twice otherwise you simply won’t reach me. I don’t get any text notifications on any app, I have to physically open the app to see what’s going on. I feel less and less anxious not being connected with everyone at all times. If I am friends with you on social media but we’re strangers in real life I won’t watch your story or see any of your post ( I mute everyone I don’t know) I choose to see what I want to see on instagram which is mostly fitness influencers and their workouts or cats lol I am not keeping tabs on anyone. I don’t want to know what so and so is doing that’s where I would start comparing myself to them and I don’t want that. I am happy with where I am in life and I love my journey I don’t need to see what other people are doing.
To combat my phone addiction I started setting a time limit on every social media app some of them are 4 hours a day, 2 hours and when I reach that time I don’t open that app anymore. I have to put my phone down and to either work out, take a walk outside, journal or read a book. The very same people who created smartphones and robot barely use them! They create them, make money and log off ! They are aware of the cons of being addicted to technology. But we can’t even spend 4 minutes without checking our phones! That is sad! When you scroll on social media before bedtime you are more prone to have insomnia, depression, loneliness and lack of motivation. Put that phone away! Some of us would be happier if we simply put the phone down and connect with people in real life. I just started doing that when I’m out with my friends, at a party, at a restaurant my phone is in my purse; I live in the moment. I am happier now because I have a ton of boundaries and I don’t feel bad about enforcing them. For example when I am ovulating I don’t listen to any music that talks about sex because my body crave it at that time and during my luteal phase I don’t listen to any sad music. I have a period tracker app to know when all of those changes are happening to follow my plan. Your brain will believe whatever you tell it to or whatever you keep on doing. If you want to be sad just listen to sad music, think about the past and your brain will trigger you to be sad. If you want to be happy just think about the future and all the exciting things you want to do, listen to happy music and exercise then boom suddenly you’re happy! It’s not rocket science your brain is sort of like a muscle you have to train it to get what you want.
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