Recap of year 2024.
One of my worst turned into best year!
January : the year started out fine, very slow and it felt like a dream because I don’t remember everything that happened at the beginning of the month because on the 30th of January my dad passed away. It felt like a bad dream that I couldn’t wake up from. I didn’t cry much but I was broken on the inside. Seeing my dad lifeless body broke me. I felt guilty, I felt bad for not being able to say goodbye to my dad. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror I really hated myself. Stopped wearing fake hair I said I will only wear my hair for a year to see how I feel and it’s been 11 months ! I think I will add another year ( no fake hair)
February: my grieving process looked different than most people. I wouldn’t cry but I would engage in dangerous activities. I also learned who my real friends were. I was truly hurt, I wanted to crawl inside a hole and never come out. Then came my dad’s funeral which also felt like a bad dream. A lot of people from my hall came to support and that meant the world to me, I really felt part of the family.
A tiny part of myself felt relieved that he didn’t have to suffer anymore, he looked so peaceful and so beautiful. I still cry from time when I think about the day I last saw him. His body was so frail, the cancer had progressed drastically. He was still strong in spirit but he wasn’t as strong physically. I wished I said I loved him, I wished I hugged him and kissed him. My sweet daddy, I will never forget you.
March: not accepting my dad is gone. I would listen to his last voicemail every night before bed, in that voicemail he told me he loved me. Then my cat Selie died, it was equally as tragic. I would cry all the time when I get home. I missed her so much. But I would joke about everything as if it didn’t hurt me as bad but inside I was devastated.
April: I don’t remember much of that month but all I can remember is that it felt like a haze. I would push everyone away, I wouldn’t answer any calls or text. I would shut everyone out. I wanted to be alone and I didn’t want to let anyone in. My therapist wasn’t much of a big help because he wasn’t helping me much, he didn’t give me any treatment plan so I said goodbye to him. I had a hate relationship with my body because I wasn’t eating properly, I felt like I gained weight because I was stressed. I wanted to try ozempic to lose the weight but that was an insane thought because I wasn’t even overweight lol anyway I decided to take another approach.
May: I signed up for a membership at my local gym. I was very excited to start but very nervous! I picked an amazing gym it is very spacious. (I don’t get any weird vibes, every member is sweet. I see them every week, we motivate each other. We smile at each other when we walked past one another)
June: I was establishing myself into my fitness journey, I was pushing myself every time. I was doing a lot of cardio and not much strength training ( lost a lot of weight and I didn’t have any muscles !)
July: kept losing weight, wasn’t happy with my fitness journey because I was losing my butt. I had an amazing time at the water park with a great friend, it was amazing. I didn’t go out at all until then so that was really fun for me.
August: stopped working out for a month because of a knee injury. I was really depressed because I couldn’t work out! I kept losing weight. I was devastated that I wasn’t getting muscles. Then I started educating myself on what exercises would help me achieve my goals, I stated creating a work out plan for my next workout. Then on the last day of the month I went back to the gym ! I was over the moon!
September: beginning of my strength training! I started lifting weights and stopped doing as much cardio. At first I started slow, because I was focusing on proper form rather than adding a lot of weight. I did some basic training, I still didn’t know much but I was willing to learn.
October: yeah that’s when I finally got it! I knew exactly what I was doing, I even started working out my abs! I started doing : RDL’s, deadlift, sumo squats… you know what my least favorite exercise is? You will be shocked but it’s squats! Yeah that didn’t really grow my glutes hip thrust did and RDL.
The bond with my cat pixie deepened! He sleeps next to me now and he snores lol he sounds like a little motor but I love him
so much. Archie and I have always been closed but pixie took some time before trusting me completely.
November: I started taking supplement but I hated the creatine so I stopped but I started counting my protein intake to make sure that I am eating enough protein for muscle growth. (You will notice ever since I started working out that’s all I’ve been talking about it’s because that’s all that brought me any joy) I found a great leave in conditioner for my hair, I started doing hot oil treatment for my hair to keep it moisturized and soft. Started wearing perfume because for the longest time I didn’t because I couldn’t stand the smell of perfume and it would bug me but lately I find it very sexy and it adds to my beauty I guess lol.
December : well here we are I am turning 28 in 16 days! Wow that’s insane ! I started this blog when I was 15 going on 16. I am so happy for all of you, I’ve grown so much both mentally and physically.
What I learned this year:
- You can’t force anyone to do anything. Let them be, they will do exactly what they want to do. You can’t force love and you can’t force a friendship, just let things be.
- The products you’re afraid to try might be the best for you. I keep my skincare routine simple because I have very sensitive skin and anything can break out my skin, I also keep my Haircare routine simple because a little goes a long way. Just leave your hair alone it will grow, just keep it moisturized.
- Never skip the gym. I always show up even if I’m sad, angry, tired or not up for it I still work out and every time I show up I always end up walking out happier. If something cured my anxiety and depression it is the gym! No for real! The confidence that I got from seeing my body changing and from seeing my hard work paying off is amazing. Nothing is better than working out. Also cardio is just as important as strength training, because you are working out your heart when you do cardio. And the heart is the most important muscle in the body. Please do cardio!
- Cry it’s okay it doesn’t make you weak, if you need to let it out just let it out.
- Sleep is important. If you need one thing in life it’s sleep! You need it to function better if I don’t sleep for 8 hours or at least 7 hours I won’t feel good especially if work out the day before I need sleep to recover because my work out is intense.
/image%2F0653521%2F20241210%2Fob_84fa33_img-4152.JPG)
/image%2F0653521%2F20241210%2Fob_ea0c1e_img-4160.jpeg)
/image%2F0653521%2F20241210%2Fob_c3793d_2432c81d-eb7a-4afe-a91a-8a42b81a3bb6.jpeg)
/image%2F0653521%2F20241210%2Fob_a0158e_img-4159.jpeg)
/image%2F0653521%2F20241210%2Fob_8c2e7f_img-4161.jpeg)