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2024-02-13T13:47:00+01:00
2024-02-12T22:52:52+01:00
2024-02-12T20:39:14+01:00
2024-02-12T17:20:49+01:00
2024-02-12T15:17:02+01:00
2024-02-12T14:32:32+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
My least favorite hairstyles:
- wigs: I don't like wigs anymore and I don't think I ever did but I did used to love wearing them to grow out my hair.
- braids: this one is new because I just recently stop liking them.
- wash and go's: my hair gets shorter when I wet it, but it does look cute tho because it's super curly.
2024-02-12T12:06:56+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
Emotional blunting.
It is a term that psychologist use to describe someone who’s feeling numb from both positive and negative emotions; which is currently what I am experiencing. You all know I love psychology and if you didn’t know well now you know lol and I do read a lot of books about human behaviors as well. I love researching my emotions to understand them better and to find out more about how the human brain works.
Well let’s get into it….
I just went through something traumatic, and I am at point of my life where I don’t know what to do or how to cope! When I learned the terrible news, I froze, and my mouth stayed open from the shock for at least two minutes. I lost my senses to the point that when I finally close my mouth it was just dry! I called my cousin who I love very much, and he told me what to do… I was like wait what should I do? I even forgot how to drive! But thank God I manage to get to the hospital in one piece. I didn’t cry! The old me would’ve been on the floor and crying constinuously but because I am experiencing this, I feel NOTHING! No joy, no sadness or anger. Which leads me to believe that I am not grieving the right way and when this thing wears off I may hit rock bottom because at first all I felt was regret because I didn’t see my dad and I didn’t even get to say goodbye; I felt guilty and ashamed at fist to the point where I hid what happened because I didn’t want any attention or anyone hugging me (but I needed all of that because I was in denial and I was lost) I also felt a huge piece of my heart was missing. I wasn’t hurt but all of that pain came out another way ; I can’t eat, I don’t feel like doing any chores like cooking or cleaning but I try, I am confused, I don’t know what I want, I am scared, I am trying to compensate in other areas of my life, I am insecure, I am a little sad at times and I don’t know why, I may laugh! I may even joke around but all of that is fake, I may smile, I may act like I didn’t even lose someone because I am still in denial, one time I picked up the phone trying to call my dad and when I was about to dial the number that’s when I remember and I just sat there in silence! I may be promiscuous because I am insecure which is why I should surround myself with men who respect me. In details I am not being myself currently… but one thing that hurts me recently I try turning to a friend because I was hungry and maybe my approach was wrong but he made me feel like shit (excuse my language but there’s no other way that I can describe it) he told me the world doesn’t revolve around me and that we all have problems ! Dude you think I don’t know that? I am the most selfless person I know when my life is torn apart no one knows ! I never want to make anyone worry about me I always want to carry the burden myself but I don’t think I can carry this one alone. A true friend is there especially in the worse moments of your life, and that experience open my eyes.
I still don’t know how to deal or cope but I am trying my best and that’s all I can do. All I have at the moment are all the memories I will carry in my heart forever. It is still fresh because I still have to get through the funeral.
2024-02-11T22:58:19+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
Our story is like the movie love Rosie, except the part where something got stuck and she got pregnant.
2024-02-11T22:55:49+01:00
2024-02-11T20:26:35+01:00
Publié depuis Eklablog
Why are we do love things that are hard to get?
I believe we want something that is out of our reach or out of our league because when we get it we actually feel an ego boost, we feel validated when we finally get something we’ve always wanted. This could be anything by the way, it can be a job or even our relationships with other people.
we may want a job because we think the pay is so good that it will solve all of my life problems and maybe it will but most of the time we might not be satisfied with it. You may not get along with your new coworkers and you may even miss your old job which is why I am not so eager to switch jobs anymore if I find a place that pays me enough for me to survive then that is all I need. I am happy at my job, I love all the friends I made there so why change it? Money doesn’t buy happiness but people can make you happy.
From my own experience, it never works well when I have to try hard to get something. I always end up disappointed, unhappy and even feeling like I’ve wasted my time. All of us we have someone in our life that we admired wether that person is a family member or a friend but do we love that person because we put them on a pedestal or because that person gave us a reason to love them?
There was a guy I was soooo obsessed with and I believe that I was in love with him; he was playing so hard to get at first and at some point he finally let me in and we dated for less than a week. I was soooo miserable in that relationship that I don’t count that as a relationship; when we broke up it was a mutual thing. That experience showed me that if someone is hard to get then they’re not the one for me. Even with friends, if I am trying harder than you are and you don’t even care then we don’t have to be friends. It’s okay. We often believe if someone is hard to get then that person must be exceptional and he doesn’t want to date me that easily because he has so many good qualities or the sex must be good ! Lol I mean… we all thought about it. But then you get in a relationship with them and it’s awful! They are emotionally unavailable, unstable, they have a short fuse and they are not what you expected!
The most beautiful friendships that I have in my life currently I didn’t fight for them. It all just came naturally and I have some amazing friends I just don’t always take advantage of that! But I know who to call and I know who I can turn to if I am having a bad day. I didn’t have to try hard when I met them! It all just worked out naturally and it was mutual.