No bread will ever be baked from this dough

2020-07-07T16:59:12+02:00

fix your crown.

Publié par Gaelle.R 7 Juillet 2020 à 04:59 PM

some of us, including me, have been in position where we forget our worth and we forget what we deserve. I have put myself in a position for others to laugh at me, for others to see me being vulnerable, for others to see how pathetic I am. Maybe I am being hard on myself but I can never erase what I saw and what I felt. After all that, I let the tears drown my face and I pick my crown back up and place right above my head. I stopped crying and I realize that I had to be vulnerable to learn, I had to let my pride down to learn more about life so I'll never put myself in that position again.

Yes I failed, yes I made a mistake or many but this time I'm fixing my crown. I know that God loves and values me now it's time for me to value myself.

so thank you for the lesson. Thank you for showing me that I had to go through this to realize that I need to love myself better.

I am a fighter which is why I never take no for an answer I always fight to change things but sometimes I just need to accept that no amount of love, no amount of goodness, no amount of kindness can change someone's mind into accepting me. That's when I need to love myself harder, that's when I need to focus more on God, that's when I need to keep fixing my crown. that's when I need to keep being kind to myself and to anyone else, hurt will not make me bitter. I have learned my lesson now it's time for me to grow.

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2020-06-29T05:31:34+02:00

bad days.

Publié par Gaelle.R 29 Juin 2020 à 05:31 AM

hey there ! how are you doing?

I am going to get right into the topic I will avoid subjects like the weather even though it has been raining with thunderstorms. We all have bad days and I have a few of those not a lot which I am glad that I don't but when I have bad days I am ready to give up on everything even life itself; it's really bad.

what happens when I have bad days?

I get really sad and I barely talk to anyone. I basically stay to myself and sometimes nothing is good for me on TV not even my favorite shows. Sometimes I sleep the whole day and other times I just cannot sleep. Bad days are the worse and I hate them because nothing feels right.

what I do?

I sleep, read quotes on Pinterest (I know it's not very trendy but I like it), I listen to music... honestly, I try to make things fun even though it's hard.

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2020-06-19T19:35:20+02:00

Health?

Publié par Gaelle.R 19 Juin 2020 à 07:35 PM

How are you doing? I am okay. I am not too thrilled at the moment my mother is sick although she is not sure that she has the virus but she has some of the symptoms. She is doing okay but I am still worried, I am praying until she is symptoms free.

well enough about me how are things for you? I have not been here in a while; I have been trying to do a lot of things but most importantly I've been trying to stay positive. One of the things that I have been doing is working out but before I get to that let me just say that I have gained a little weight but compare to how I was 2 years ago I would say it's a lot but I am not going to get into many details. My belly was getting big and I was not having it so I have been doing all kinds of workout to turn the fat into muscles; so far so good. Asides from workout my physical muscles I also need to work out my spiritual muscles because if I do not it will all go downhill and my wellbeing will be at risk. Some people need coffee in the morning to wake up or to have a good day me I need to pray and meditate because if I don't I will feel less close to God and that makes me sad.

how are you doing mentally? I was not doing so good these past few days but I didn't show but deep down on the inside I knew something was not right. I was drifting away from my spiritual routine and I was less motivated to work harder... I felt like I was not doing enough (I wasn't but if only I see it as a way to get back up quickly) instead I took it as a way to get even further away. When you're building something you cannot get halfway to take a break and expect whatever that you're building to build itself up, you have to keep going. Life is full of surprises I know but never let what life throws at you be the outcome of who you are meant to be. Life situation has nothing to do with who you are on the inside. Who you are will determine the outcome of the situation life throws at you. stay positive, work harder, share all the good things you have going on for you because it's better to give than to receive.

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2020-06-18T04:45:32+02:00

checking in.

Publié par Gaelle.R 18 Juin 2020 à 04:45 AM

I just Realize that I have not been here often. I do apologize for my absence but I am kind of busy at the moment. I am trying to accomplish all that I am supposed to be doing. Right now it is easy to procrastinate and forget what's important. I am not the right person to tell you how to keep a straight balance because I myself am struggling.

I wish you all the best.

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2020-06-10T03:40:29+02:00

relationship

Publié par Gaelle.R 10 Juin 2020 à 03:40 AM

hey there!

How is everyone doing? I am doing good. Okay so let's get right into the topic. I am going to talk about all kinds of relationships it can be friendship or any other type.

To me, relationship, in general, is a good thing being able to talk to someone, getting to know that person, and having a bond with someone is essential to every human. we all need relationships in life because we all need other people to talk to. Some people can make it hard to have a relationship with them simply because they are either holding back or simply unable to accept the love that you are giving them. I am leaving the possibility of them not feeling the same about you out I am talking about being on the road to have a relationship with that person and they are making it hard.

If someone cannot accept all the love or attention that you're giving them don't feel like you're doing too much just know that you are giving all that good stuff to the wrong person. Maybe that person doesn't like the way you love them. I admit I don't like the controlling type of love to me that is not love. You wanting to know everything that I am doing, wanting to know from A to Z about what I did during the day doesn't mean you love me, it simply means you're trying to control my life which is not helping me nor you. It's hard out here to be able to receive the same love that you are giving sometimes you just have to keep that love and give it to yourself. You loving yourself is essential for any type of relationship because when you love yourself you will know how to care for someone better, you will know how to love someone...

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2020-06-02T19:34:59+02:00

injustice.

Publié par Gaelle.R 2 Juin 2020 à 07:34 PM

thoughts on what is going?

First of all, I am neutral and I do not have an opinion but I acknowledge what is going on I hate it and I do not agree with any of the injustice that is happening. I knew these things were going to happen because it is written in the bible which makes me know that the end of the world is approaching. The only way we can find peace and be safe is when God is ruling the world. The problems that we are facing at the moment no other humans can make it disappear it will always be there, hatred will always be a part of our everyday lives, sadly racism will always be among us unless God steps in and put an end to this. I am not telling anyone to stop protesting and I am also not telling anyone to protest the decisions is in each of us hands we have the choice to make our own decision. I am neutral in all this and I have nothing else to say except that God knows everything and he knows what is best for us...

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2020-06-02T01:35:32+02:00

Publié depuis Eklablog

Publié par Gaelle.R 2 Juin 2020 à 01:35 AM

It is a very difficult time right now and I just hope everyone is being safe. You don't have to follow a trend to feel relevant just try to feel good mentally and physically.

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2020-05-31T02:00:06+02:00

answering questions.

Publié par Gaelle.R 31 Mai 2020 à 02:00 AM

what is one thing I cannot live without?

my mom and my phone lol. (I know that's 2 but my mom is not really a "thing" but needless to say, I cannot see myself living without her.)

what do I like to do for fun?

honestly, I am not sure exactly what it is anymore but if it brings a smile to my face or it makes me laugh then I like it.

favorite show?

all American.

favorite movie?

molly's game on netflix.

heels or sneakers?

both.

am I dating?

lol this question keeps popping up, no I am not dating anyone at the moment; I am in the process of falling in love with myself all over again.

what do I think cheating is?

texting another girl, talking, face timing, touching, kissing, looking, breathing ... everything lol if I'm with you don't bring another girl cause imma leave you and I am not coming back and that's on what? : PERIOD.

will I forgive someone for cheating?

UHM no I will not. I mean I will forgive you and move on because I won't hold a grudge for anyone but I will not take you back. I think cheating is a form of disrespect and dishonesty like the person really broke your trust.

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2020-05-30T04:21:57+02:00

hey there,

Publié par Gaelle.R 30 Mai 2020 à 04:21 AM

A lot of things are happening in the country and I am just tired of it all, on top of this pandemic there's also police brutality going on it's like being black is suddenly a curse. I said "suddenly" actually it's been going on and I am beyond mad about it. Only God can bring peace to this world.

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2020-05-26T07:25:49+02:00

catching up.

Publié par Gaelle.R 26 Mai 2020 à 07:25 AM

I am doing good. I am very grateful to be alive today because I have been sick and it was scary. I was tested positive for the coronavirus and at first I was paranoid to the point that came on here and tell you about my job and all about it; something that I don't normally do because I am private like that lol. I am trying to open to more people and help them to understand me but it is not easy, I have been criticized, examined and misjudge for stupid things. Even though a lot of people still don't understand me or my character I am willing to stay true to myself...someone better will always come along.

How did I feel?

when I was working with the infected patients at my job I felt a bit paranoid because I am still new in healthcare but I was excited to help and learn more. I am proud of that experience and I've learned how to work with extremely contagious patients. I am not going to lie I was scared because I did not want to get sick. I did, and I was paranoid...I took a lot of home remedies. I remained in quarantine, I didn't go outside I felt lonely, sad and at times it was very hard. sadly when I am going through hard times I stay away from everyone (which is bad and you shouldn't do that) I am learning to look for help and to accept the help. Emotionally I am doing much better I don't really open up about it to anyone.

avoiding?

ever since the quarantine started I have been on ghost mode, it's not because I don't want friends. I do but I was dealing with a lot and I was fighting to stay strong and I am still fighting...last year I would've broke but this year with the help of Jehovah I find myself being stronger and better...I am happy that I went back to build my relationship with God...All I ever known before I went back was depression, panic attack,anxiety, the need to cut everyone off because I can't trust them, trust issues... I am glad that I am not dealing with all of that thanks to God.

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